this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2026
532 points (99.6% liked)

People Twitter

10514 readers
621 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
  4. No international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major celebrity, figure or any politician
  1. If a tweet (or similar) makes a statement of fact, either mark it as "satire" in the body or provide the original source link backing up the statement (see rule 6)

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] s@piefed.world 30 points 9 months ago (5 children)

It’s 2026. You have just given your government sponsored sex robot a golden shower and shorted out his master circuits, ultimately plooking him to death, so the Central Scritinizer arrests you and sends you to a special prison.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Now when you say special... 

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Watch Firefly (if you haven't already... or even better if you have 😉), and you'll be glad you did.

img

[–] HowAbt2day@futurology.today 7 points 9 months ago

You’ve unlocked a new kink for the new year, mate. Cheers!

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 9 months ago

You’ll love it. It’s a way of life.

(Not an alt, and I guess neither are the other two?)

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

You'll love it, it's a way of life.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 months ago

You'll love it. It's a way of life.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 30 points 9 months ago (2 children)

See, that's why you always jailbreak your sex robot. That, and who knows what corporate wants to do with all that semen it's collecting.

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Collecting?? Is that why my robot's vagina slams shut when I'm done and then it runs to the post office every time?

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Half right, but it's a UPS dropbox- they have a deal with Amazon. Occasionally it's delivered by drone!

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

UPS - Uterus Processing System

Congrats on your half-robot babdy!

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago

Futurama warned of this

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You'll know what it's for when every janitor, garbage collector, and septic tank cleaner looks surprisingly identical to you.

[–] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Hey those are respectable labour jobs. Our municipality once had a sanitation worker strike and I'll never disrespect them or allow them to be disrespected again. Urban society goes to a standstill literally days after sanitation operations stop.

And my god the smell, couldn't drink or eat anything outdoors for days.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I'm not disrespecting them; the evil corporations buying clones from sex doll data collection as cheap labor are.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

This sounds like every website I have ever visited.

[–] yellowbadbeast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Your websites have updates??

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 20 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Sign here to accept cookies, initial there to offer up your firstborn, scrolling partway down somehow means that I would like to make an account to pay a subscription fee (and I mean right the fuck NOW - no, not when I'm done reading, right in the middle of the fucking article NOW!)... hrm, I guess I do primarily visit news websites.

And to be clear, this is all with (Firefox) uBlock Origin ON - I shudder to think what hellscape awaits if someone were to ever attempt to brows the web naked.

[–] ekky@sopuli.xyz 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Uh, also remember to enable the cookie and annoyance filters in Ublock. It doesn't do much by default.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 5 points 9 months ago

Thanks for the tip! They were indeed unchecked.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Oh thanks, I thought I remembered it having better out-of-box functionality, but definitely the interwebs have gotten more difficult to navigate recently so I haven't tried those - crossing my fingers now and hoping for the best! 🤞🙏

[–] ekky@sopuli.xyz 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I mean, compared to other blockers it has awesome out-of-box functionality, but... It just kinda lacks something. And those filters are that something. ;)

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 3 points 9 months ago

I have been negligent in keeping up - thanks for sharing!:-)

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget "whoops, your mouse moved the slightest bit upwards for any number of reasons, we're going to assume you're closing the tab and throw another pop up at you begging you to sign up even if you were actually still just reading"

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

FireFox

Is this desktop? Try https://librewolf.net/ It's de-enshittified FF uBlock0 included preinstalled

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 2 points 9 months ago

Sadly no, after staring at big screen all day I enjoy staring at little screen to relax, so do the vast majority of my Threadiverse from mobile. I have been waiting so hard on it developing a mobile app version for Android... but so far no luck:-(.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

I mean yes they do, host servers are just smart enough implement them seamlessly like apple only better (mostly)

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I call BS this is not even remotely realistic without ads

Also related: Neil Young nailed it No messy changes, give us a call! We know you'll be satisfied https://youtube.com/watch?v=8_joC1jgTvQ

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 1 points 9 months ago

The OP pic must have uBlock Origin installed. You can tell because of... well... the lack of ads 😜.

[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 12 points 9 months ago

Anal has now been moved to the premium fuck tier for an additional $30/month

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 10 points 9 months ago

"Just need a quick shower first, babe. I won't be a minute, I promise!"

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 6 points 9 months ago

Lmfaoooooo

Well, we wouldn't want any bugs, now would we? God forbid it accidentally begins running process urethralpenetration.exe without your explicit request lol

[–] Vex_Detrause@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago

The right to repair will have so much more supporters!

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)