this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I can only hold it so many ways!

top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 90 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

me receiving all those guys nudes

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

That's me all right

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

That's entirely too many nudes. You need better acquaintances.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 43 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Don't forget the death-grip at the base to try to make it look bigger than it really is

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 39 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

That’s why I bought a bunch of Ken dolls. Just rip off an arm to hold up your schlong and you’re guaranteed to show your recipient that you’re absolutely just going to kill them.

[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Instance says everything 😭

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The name didn't indicate that I'm a pervert?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I thought you were just a Masters of the Universe comics enthusiast or liked Mattel toys ... or just Fisto himself.


[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Masters of the Universe is so much queer culture, that I don't see too much difference.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

Wait, you didn't mean fisticuffs!? Oh, my stars!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I know all the tricks. I'd totally fool Penn & Teller if they'd let me on.

[–] HyperKaulomenos@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The point is to fool Brooke, not Penn & Teller

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

You do you, I'll do me.

(Also part of the trick.)

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

So this one time there was this girl I was exchanging nudes with and I got daring and tried to send one that was kinda like front-facing and she said it looked like Thomas the Tank Engine and I never fully recovered from that.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

Lmao I have the picture in my head and yeah, it totally does look like Thomas the tank engine. She sounds like a keeper TBH.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

She has the train tunnel. Choo motherfuckin’ choo.

[–] nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 29 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Can someone provide references, and/or instructions for classy male nudes?

[–] Ediacarium@feddit.org 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe something like this?

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Or this one while you are on the can. Women will then assume you are a thinker

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

I never noticed how detailed the feet were before. Pretty impressive

[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not quite nude, but you get the idea:

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 8 points 2 weeks ago

This but unironically. The humor of this image, to me, is the juxtaposition of the character in the pose. But it's actually a pretty flattering pic.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 weeks ago

Don't make your dick the main focus of the shot, it's typically not even in a woman's top three favorite features of a man. Women like a lot of the same things we do, butts, thighs, abs tend to be top of the list.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Personally, I've started making use of slow-mo to spice up videos. 👀

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What would an ace do with all them wands?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

cast magic missile?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 2 weeks ago

My wife is ace. They're still good with the wands.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You don't need to hold it. Get a friend to take the picture while you're doing the fist on hips, Superman pose.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But how do I make friends without a stellar dick pic? It's a chicken/egg situation.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

People who don't have friends have a tripod instead.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

If my dick was long enough to look like a tripod, I would be in thar predicament in the first place.

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I mean have you seen what we're working with? I swear it's actually impossible to take a dick pic that actually looks good

[–] stevestevesteve@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

You just gotta put some effort into it. You got a whole body not just a dick my dude

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

upside down with a reverse backhand stroke.

almost how it looks in the mirror.