Bcus peops hate wen others do things with their own bodies , specially wen those surgeries (or any other body modification) don't conform to societal expectations
this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2025
8 points (63.3% liked)
Ask Lemmy
35688 readers
1099 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
It's self mutilation in response to a mental illness cause by societal pressures and misogyny. Chopping up your face to appear younger, should not be something anyone feels the need to do.
Not all cosmetic surgery is this. Helping burn victims or people who have suffered injuries, nothing wrong with any of that. There's lots of legitimate reasons for cosmetic surgery to exist. But so much of it is the symptom of a broken society.
I'm a bit split on the whole topic.
The cultural reasons for why people get it done are bullshit. Maintaining youth, eliminating every single perceived flaw, and so on. Making people believe that they are worthless without their good looks. It's a culture that isn't healthy for our minds or bodies.
On the other hand, some of the insults levelled at people who have had cosmetic surgery is incredibly vicious and I don't think it's fair. Much of it is misogynistic when directed at women, and homophobic when directed at men. I believe everyone is entitled to full autonomy to do as they wish with their own body, as long as noone else is harmed by it.
If I have a daughter I hope I can teach her to love and appreciate herself for who she is, be proud of herself and that everyone is beautiful and worthy, rather than to fit in with the stereotypical standards of beauty and if she doesn't match that, she has to get surgery to do so.
On Lemmy and Reddit? See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mar-a-Lago_face
"Excessive" obvious cosmetic surgery became a status symbol, and then it got politicized.
Mainly because it's a side effect of hollywood/social media. But i'm also very happy with how I look, so i can't really judge people for trying to look different.
For me it is just manipulating your natural beauty. Hollywood conditions nearly all women that they must look attractive or risk losing roles that exist only based on attractiveness. So you see actresses like Kate Beckingsale or Lindsay Lohan doing this for some roles.
It's different than needing to get rid of loose skin from losing a lot of weight.
Because to me I see it as wearing a mask and faking who you are.
I also feel the same with makeup but worse (chemicals that destroy your skin).
Hating? Are you sure you're reading that right?
Or maybe criticising/disliking when people make themselves look weird because their ego can't handle the fact we all get older.
I've known people who've had work done, small things, and no one would ever know.
What they didn't do was have their face pulled back so tight at 60 that they look like a caricature of their 20-year-old self.
There was a time, when it was actively pushed onto women, and also people made fun of really bad ones on the internet later on, so plastic surgery became synonymous with weird oversized breasts and duck beak lips.
1000% preference. Like fake tans, comestic surgery items like "Bolted on tits", lip fillers, and fake muscles look weird and unnatural. To me it looks like a slightly deformed human and instinct says stay away from that. However, I have cowokers who love that stuff. If there is a time in future where it looks more natural id probably more for it.
you don't notice it if it looks natural
Well, yea, and so much of it looks unnatural
That's an argument many pro cosmetic surgery folks say. Just like I prefer a good burger versus a bad one, if you could guarantee the same standard on every human then its just a money thing. I did quite a bit of research 10 years ago and it seemed it wasn't worth it when I spoke to professionals then. Im certain it will improve as time goes on. But at my age going to be like putting new lights in a haunted mansion 😅
Unless what you are saying is some people want to others to notice like the human Ken doll. After watching him talk in a documentary that guy screams "I needs therapy". He literally said he wouldnt do this if everyone did it. It's not healthy to mutilate yourself for attention mate.
Agreed. I touched a pair of tits once that had implants, but you couldn't tell just by looking.
I don't hate the people who got cosmetic surgeries done on themselves, but I hate the culture that made them feel like they needed them. I also think it often just doesn't look good.
I see a difference between e.g. restorative cosmetic surgery, e.g. after an accident on one hand, and creating cow tits and Mar-a-Lago lips on the other.
Excess vanity is not a good look.
Because it perpetuates the myth that you're somehow a bad person if you show signs of aging.
...there is a myth like that?
Women and men are not supposed to hold the secret to beauty for infinite amount of years, for actors and actresses who are dependent on their looks, they would always have the choice to stop being dependent on their looks or improve their looks.
The choice is not related to any sort of culture, but the consumption choices of consumers.
If a person liked the look of another person in their 20s, they don't need to like their looks forever in their 40s and 50s.
This feels like not really the reason.
I think it might be similar to CGI in movies: you do not notice those good ones, they blend in and look natural. But you DO notice those that went wrong or way too far.
Yep. The "Uncanny Valley" is deep, and it is not limited to robots and mannequins.
Probably because they look terrible.
Can't say I'm proud of my reaction, but it is what it is.
- It makes the person look uncanny, which is naturally unsettling
- I can't empathize with the decision to surgically change your body for whatever reason. So we're less likely to relate to each other.
It's also really not that high on the scale of seriousness. It's like the same weight as if I saw you wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey or something.
Do they hate it? I mean, not liking something does not mean hating that something (I don't like bananas, I'm fine with people eating them and have never campaigned to ban bananas from our tables, not even from mine ;).
And if they do hate it, why would that be an issue? Why does it matter?
The reason I am asking is because I saw a lot of women who look great after surgeries and I see nothing wrong with them, but when I browse Reddit I see people hating on them so hard, why?
I find most 'cosmetic' plastic surgery... rather not cosmetic at all, to be 100% honest and I often find the end result a lot less pleasing than the original version was, but people are free to do what they like with their own body whether I like or not—exactly like I'm free to not like it, and say it.
Function >> Form
It's useless to paint your skin to make it look like something healthy, when the body's insides are not really so.
And if I am going to pay an exorbitant amount of money to have an extra layer of skin, it better be giving me +10 slash/pierce resist.
Because they are hypocritical And sexist. No one ever bitches about the work men get. And all anyone bitches about are tits and lips.
You're kidding me, right?
Cosmetic surgery is far more acceptable in women than men.
Pretty much everyone mocks men that get hair transplants.
It is really a class issue. Elective cosmetic surgery can be tough to get covered under insurance. So it is an economic thing. Millions of people on SNAP with no healthcare while the elite play with aging and off label prescription medication usage.
I don't think people respond to it that way, but I think that there is something there.
And taking the time off work to recover is unrealistic for working class
There was a meme about ten years ago that went around showing a lot of celebrities before and after cosmetic surgeries with the caption “you’re not ugly, just poor” and that seems to align pretty closely with your sentiment.
and i am both ugly and poorly
I know this is not what people want to hear, but at least one aspect of it is misogyny.
There was this recent clip of Kate Beckinsale going around and people went batshit over how she had ruined her beautiful looks. The thing is, she definitely had things done before, just go look up pictures of her when she started her career. She was beautiful even then but in a more "normal" way. And no one was outraged or concerned for her then. But now she dares to not be as beautiful as she was before. People have a right to see her be hot!
Don't get me wrong, I wish there wasn't such a pressure for people to look perfect and have work done. But I think a huge part of the outrage is actually men feeling that they have a right to decide how a woman should look.
How does that rhyme with increasingly many men also being obsessed by their looks and more and more having surgery done? Hair implants are on the edge of surgery and very common for men. So are nosejobs, eyelids correction, eyebrows raising etc.
While some hatrid is probably misogyny, I have the feeling the divide between people liking "corrective" surgery and those who don't is more like the age old difference between "high culture" and "folk culture".
My personal opinion: it's usually ugly. Almost always do I find it ugly. Chances are I find a naturally aged person 40-65yo more beautiful than ones where it's super obvious they had stuff done. Especially the trend of getting stuff done super obviously really makes my stomach twist. The natural looking older people to me often just emit a "i'm only human", "i'm nice" vibe while the overedited body (including having supermany tattoos by the way) usually just screams insecurity, uncertainty, ... at me.
And excluding things like corrective surgery after accident or making boobs smaller because of backaches: I find plastic surgery just for the thrill of it an enormous waste of healthcare resources, while many people can't afford the most basic of health care.
How does that rhyme with increasingly many men also being obsessed by their looks and more and more having surgery done?
I don't see how that contradicts what I said? I talked about the pressure many people feel, not just women.
But most of the hatred I see online comes up when it's a woman. Do you have any examples of men receiving the kind of attention and hatred that Kate Beckinsale or Ariana Grande recently received for their changed looks? Maybe I'm just in my bubble and missed them.
Depends on who you ask. But I can see why it goes against the values of various groups.
I don't hate it, your body your choice. In excess it looks silly but I don't have to look.
That kind of hate is almost definitely coming from other women. I'd say that from an evolutionary psychology perspective, it's about them raising the bar for everyone by going the extra mile to look pretty. It's the same idea as is behind slut-shaming: if you're giving sex too easily, then it starts being expected from us too. Or if your neighbor buys a new car, now suddenly your own car feels devalued and you resent them for it.
That kind of hate is almost definitely coming from other women. I’d say that from an evolutionary psychology perspective, it’s about them raising the bar for everyone by going the extra mile to look pretty.
There is a lot of suppositions going on. First, that there is actually a significant amount of 'hate' being expressed (see my other comment to the op). Then, that any of that cosmetic surgery actually 'raises the bar' (and make any woman look ‘prettier’) compared to, let's call them non-surgically modified or ‘non-enhanced’ women. Then, that those 'enhanced' women are in anyway more successful in what they want to achieve compared to those other women. Finally that those other women feel in way threatened by that group. It could also be interesting to consider what we consider as cosmetic surgery (and not), how this has developed, and since what time.
In regard to the usefulness of cosmetic surgery as a way to mate/date (which I imagine is one of the main reasons why anyone would do it) I can only speak for myself, aka as an old dude that has been in a relationship for more than 20 years. But even when I was a lot younger, when I was a lot less focused on any single person in my life, I never dated a woman that had 'raised' the bar you mentioned. It was not what I was looking for in a woman. And I would be curious to get data on how many of those women manage to find a partner and then to keep it compared to the other women?
I had preferences but outside of those ‘couple nights fun times', a lot more important to me than the look was (and would still be) an interesting personality, aka a woman with as much brains as possible. Brains could not and still can’t be surgically enhanced so, obviously, the kind of women I was seriously interested in were the ones willing to put it in the actual time and efforts to make their brains ‘look’ better ;)
Any other type of ‘enhancement’ to me looked like a serious waste of precious time, and resources.
Maybe I was completely wrong and maybe it’s just me being odd? Could very well be. I remember as a teen, I had a few pictures of girls on the walls of my room taken out of magazines. Most of them were not top models or actresses they were... female writers and artists I admired and they were pinned alongside (at least as many) male ones. I fantasized a lot more about meeting people like Virginia Woolf (Still one dream of mine, to this very day) and Jane Austen (or, say, my dear Flaubert and Tolstoy) than with any actress or top model... no matter how ‘perfect’ they (or their boobs) looked like in the magazines.