Let's see, I cast ... You out the window.
That's not aAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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Good luck, I have 7 backup character concepts at all times
Are they all bards?
Hide behind the mountain of dead bards!
Mountain of dead bards‽
NECROMANCER: *heavy breathing*
Thank you for getting it.
Every single boss in my campaign is a leveled bard. I'm proving a point by minmaxing the shit out of them, but they are all legal characters. My players are gonna hate it when every boss reveal starts with a Broadway musical. My favorite is a bard with some druid spells, a speed potion, and a couple other secrets making his base speed 120. Add in tree stride, and the party will never know from what direction he will strike. High dex means high ac and a finesse weapon. Get in, strike, get out. Plenty of attacks of opportunity for the players, so it's not completely cheesing. I could give him a ranged weapon but that tastes like cheese. I want the players to have an actual hard fight with a chance to win. All this, all of it, was because my wife asked me to make a bard boss and I ran with it.
That cheesy dashing in & out sounds great until one player has the Sentinel feat and is right after the boss in the turn order 😛
IIRC there are some area effect spells that damage you more, the more you move.
I can bring whole cities to ruin, and still have time to get a soft-shoe in...
What in the Scott Pilgrim...
They better get a vicious mockery that is just giggling
Damn that's good, gonna do that too
Only 1, maybe 2
Do people who make these memes actually play at tables like this, or is this hyperbole for the sake of clicks? Do they play at all?
Over exaggeration in memes?
Say it ain't so!
Probably some of each. Some few might be literal retellings, some are exaggerated, some are just made up.
I know this is just a shitpost, but the key question is what kind of monster is doing the attacking. Mindless beast? It'll attack whatever's nearest. Vaguely competent humanoid? They'll probably focus on the guy in his pyjamas who's raining death from his fingertips over the one in armour thicker than their head.
A mindless beast, like a wolf that's known for stalking it's prey and going for a weak one to pull it away from it's group?
And would almost certainly do anything in its power (especially running away from the creature three times its height and aware of them enough to fight back and summoning lightning from their pointy stick) to avoid getting hurt, because there are no wolves afraid of being called chicken because those who keep fighting for stupid reasons die of sepsis?
Wolves aren't so mindless!
Wolves have an intelligence of 3, few beasts "more mindless" would be aggressive enough to face tank the party.
I guess all I'm really saying is that there really isn't that much in the game that should stand and deliver against the closest enemy until it dies
I give the wolf mentats, then cast Tasha's hideous laughter
OK, when I said "beast" I should really have said "monster", because things like oozes, constructs, and undead are often stupid enough to do just that
It was clear what you meant, but you left an opportunity for someone to be technically correct and they jumped all over it
Yeah, fair enough; seems we're saying the same thing then. I really got the impression from the initial comment that only uniquely smart things would use tactics. I can see how that might have been meant more broadly
Ranger should have pumped it with arrows before it got close.
Characters have strengths and weaknesses. A GM should target both, giving everyone moments to shine and moments to struggle.
Hit points are a resource and I am no hoarder
I mean lets not talk about the fact that I instantly went into death saves though
I have been enjoying Fabula Ultima's system of randomly determining targets.
Honestly, the more I've played Fabula the more I've realized it's everything I liked about D&D and none of the stuff I disliked (except scheduling issues)
With my paladin i solve this by getting pissed, healing myself for 50 ( lay on hands, all the points in 1 go ), transforming ( the celestial thing ), and start disarming them. The ranger knows the cue and will kill them so hard for it haha.
If that doesnt work, smite that fucker for trying to damage me that much. If not hitting at all ( my ac is 23 lawl )
Geek the mage
Wizard I ran DND for in didn't love this, but understood it.
The real problem with that group is we kept changing DMs, and some were a lot more easy going. You gotta get on the same page as a group
Rotating GMs in the same campaign can work with some differences in things like this, sort of like different directors/writers for episodes of a TV show. Some weeks, there might be characters who seem favored by the gods or cast into the deepest pits of misfortune, and then the other way around the very next adventure.
Yeah, it mostly worked. Mostly.
It's hard to say if my previous group worked better because they were used to my style, or just a better fit for me, or some other factor.
Yeah, some systems eliminate this meme's problem by making clear it's the logical thing to do in-world thus totally expected.