this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
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The Shitpost Office

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[–] masquenox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If he's so healthy why does he need to dye himself orange?

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Obviously because his natural color is a healthy dark blue with brown hilites.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did they war against the Phoenicians or the Mesopotamians? I forget.

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You're thinking of Hittites. Hilite is a popular japanese van.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Fixed. Apologies for my drunk grammar.

[–] Prior_Industry@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

War paint of his people

[–] graycube@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago

He's also the only president that doctor has ever examined.

[–] Mk23simp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How many presidents has this doctor examined?

[–] hunnybubny@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

Orders of magnitude more. He's examined 20 billion presidents.

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 2 points 1 month ago

Doesn't matter.. Their average age is 10 years before death.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The tears in his eyes were from the stench.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Where's the betting pool? I'm waffling between

"Spasmodically keels over on live TV"

or

"Suddenly decomposes into a hissing puddle of vomit-inducing waste that forces the entire WH property to lockdown from biohazard containment"

I'm good with either, if asap is possible. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think he's gonna go on the toilet with an aneurysm while rage tweeting because no one likes him

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So, I'll put you down for "the Elvis", then?

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What're my odds for sudden seizure on his own golf course, falling out of the cart face first onto the concrete path?

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

Hmm, on his own course, out of a cart and onto pavement? Slimmer with every caveat, but not zero. 😅🤞🏼

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can't wait for the day that badly animated corpse finally stops moving.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Donald the Hut

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The tears were from Trump’s… unique scent (which, granted, is an unconfirmed rumor, but I completely believe it).

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Old people just start smelling weird as a baseline after awhile, I used to work estate sales you could tell when a family lived there versus a single or pair of old people. It's fucking bizarre, also it's one of my arguments for multigenerational housing on a single property at minimum.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Fake news. The doctor with tears in their eyes would have said “Sir”.

[–] PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago

That doctor must have been a coroner.

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Narrator: The doctor had never examined a president before now.

[–] Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago
[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Oh yeah you just reminded us that during his speech standing up on stage in front of all the United States army generals, Trump little penis hole was peeing into a tube funneled down his pants collecting his urine into a plastic bag tied around his ankle.

[–] ThunderComplex@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If Iron Man can piss in his suit why can’t the president?

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ok if that's where the bar has to be, can we at least trade in Robert Downey Jr to be our president?

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

Only if he keeps the suit on

[–] ThunderComplex@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

At this point I’d even prefer RDJ's piss as president

[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

jfc. this idiot can't stop lying.

[–] OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

I'm not even sure that he's lying. I feel like there is an equally large chance that the doctor was blackmailed into saying something like that. Wouldn't even have to be the command of trump - his followers are equally interested in making their hero feel special.

[–] bagsy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Miller et all are perpetrating elder abuse. Trump's an old senile piece of shit, but he seems to be being taken advantage of by younger, eviler pieces of shit.

[–] DrDickHandler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Heritage Foundation has been running the show behind the scenes for years. Where the hell have you been?

[–] bagsy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Buddy, Heritage Foundation isn't even the main organization. it's one of many child orgs under the CNP (Council for National Policy). Check out the documentary called Bad Faith to see the bigger picture.