Jesus: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLY A FUCKING PLANE.
this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2025
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“Damn it Jesus, do you even know how to fly a plane?”
“Fly yes, land no!”
If I could respawn after three days, I would not bother learning how to land non-catasthropically
Turns out they didn't have planes 2000 years ago. Oops.
It's "Jesus take the WHEEL" not "Jesus take the YOKE"
I know laughing is illegal now but it is a tad ironic
This procedure is called a positive exchange of controls. Under normal circumstances it is a three step process:
Pilot 1: "You have the controls" Pilot 2: "I have the controls" Pilot 1: "You have the controls"
This process removes ambiguity, ensuring that both pilots are situationally aware.
According to the voice recording (VFR data), we can hear Brett James say "Jesus, take the wheel".
The VFR does not register a response from Jesus. Some have speculated that he was distracted, others say it may be a technical malfunction. Many others are speculating that he actually never existed.
Unfortunately Brett James does not follow positive exchange of controls procedure, he never confirms that Jesus has the controls, and this is a fatal mistake.
I guess Jesus shoulda took the control yoke, too.
To a Christian, who believes in martyrdoom, dying isn't so much trouble, because Jesus will forgive even the most psychopathic liars so long as they repent the night before. They will cognitively dissonance Brett James’s harms, and admit him to heaven, and the genocidal cause.
Yeah but do you really think they would create heavens for some of the most hateful people on the planet? After preaching about the biggest bullshit ever loving each other.
Digressive Victims do not operate on the thought that actual repent means making amends with your neighbor, and ensuring it doesn't occur again. Because if that was the case, they wouldn't evangelize, ministry, or preach. Cults thrive in manipulating short-circuits our brains adapted to survive this harmful planet. They don't bother to think “maybe enforcing my religion is wrong,” they think “God will forgive me for adding another sibling to your family, hallelujah!”
Their faustian myth of an afterlife is what makes the cult incredibly dangerous, because all evil under our universe is granted, so long as it’s done under God's grand plan: “He will reward me for my deeds in ‘paradise’.”
“Jesus, I seen what you done for John Denver, and I want that for me.”
Alright, I had me a giggle. You got me.
Man, that's the plane that has the parachute, too.
I think small airplane travel is about as dangerous as motorcycle riding but it's been a minute since I looked. I love flight and I'm not sure I'd get in one anymore.
The CAPS system had been pretty successful too. I wonder what happened, they couldn't deploy it. The lever is almost dead center and a little aft of the pilot and copilot seats.
Harsh. But good on you for posting it here.
nice job, jesus, you half-assed fuck
There's no wheel to take on a plane
I guess Jesus really, really wanted this particular motherfucker.