Fake and straight
this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
442 points (95.7% liked)
Greentext
6623 readers
1554 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
not oppisite enough, true and straight.
60% of the time it works every time.
I'm straight so anything that gets my dick hard is a woman.
Okay Yujiro.
LGBTs hate this one simple trick !
Nobody treats me like a girl after sucking their dick... They just call me a fag and hand me $100. What the hell?
"If I had $100 for every time I sucked dick I'd have $200. Which isn't much but it's weird it happened twice."
If you're getting a hundred bucks to suck dick, you're doing something right.
Most I ever payed for a blowjob is the one I got on credit and I’m still paying for today.
Let me tell you, even though I can’t get much action today because of the kids, she’s been worth every penny haha.
Of course I’m joking. I’m a stay at home dad. (Which interestingly autocompleted to “stay at home mom” and I had to delete it and try again). If anyone has paid it’s been her. I can assure you I’m not worth it. Don’t know why she puts up with me.
It's funny how I think it's a dream job (I'm in between jobs and my SO is working) but also I think the whole stay at home mom is degrading. Too stereotypish I guess? I mean everyone do as they please if they can ofc!
I mean damn, I ain't gay, but if it's worth a hundred, I'm gonna try it
$100 is $100
If you're getting paid then you're doing it for money while she does it for the love of the game
Have some more self esteem! You can get $120
I would do the same for all my friends. And why not? Sexy time with friends should be more common, I dont see a reason not to, if its handled well.
The story is not even fake and gay, because is women on men intercourse >:3
How you doin’?
Ngl, I've had sex with female friends just because they were horny and wanted something uncomplicated from someone they knew would respect boundaries. Most often, that was going down on them, which was fine by me since I always found that to be fun. Sometimes they'd reciprocate, or return the favor later on. Sometimes not, and that was fine too.
If I was bi or gay, I'm fairly sure I'd at least be willing to give hand jobs to bros.
Not all the time, every time, but at that same level of occasional where if the need is strong, but opportunity absent, why not? Doesn't hurt anyone, and as long as everyone involved is on the same page it won't.
dont see a reason not to, if its handled well.
Big caveat there. The big problem is you don't really know how people will really handle things until afterwards.
Fair point. So far I managed great on my end.
I'd be ok with it, but i don't know how to ask my partner "hey can I suck this other guys dick?" in a way that isn't insulting to them.
Since Im polyamorous, thats not an issue for me or my partners, every one of us have done that at some point. Though for monoamorous people that is probably kind of insulting and problematic.
Yes even with exactly those words, which is a little funny :D
Dude, being poly sounds sick/dope!
It is!
Turns out that living without the fear of your own desires and emotions is pure freedom. If you are in monoamorus relationship and fall in love with a third person, thats a threat. For me right now the same situation is pure bliss. I get to love another human after all, that feels great!
so wholesome
More like holesome
ba-dum tss
Be my friend?
Sure why not. I like it when people are direkt with their questions :D
Just tell me if its more about sucking dick then friendship. Dont mind either, just need the clarity
Both equally important. Actually will probably prioritise the friendship higher.
Respectable answer. Is that a serious inquiry? Or just online talk?
Serious means DM, online talk means you dont need to further comment on the thread here
Seriously interested in anyone up for friendship. This would be the 3rd or 4th time i come across this sort of thing on Lemmy, no one follows through. I make a chat app channel and no one joins. I'll DM you.
The dick sucking was all online speak, not interested in that at all. No one is going to be able to beat the skills and hotness of my wife....so I'm sorted there.
Other girls would call her a pickme now
Sucking dick makes the world go 'round
Marilyn Manson said blowjobs were like handshakes in Hollywood. But I think he might be a rapist iirc
Some days you’re getting sucked, other days you’re doing the sucking.
In this world, its milk or be milked.
Win/win
if only it were that easy
I believe the anime girl is Sayu Ogiwara from Higehiro