Explain Like I'm Five

Because they are such a tiny AND unprotected minority, they are fairly easy targets for othering / discrimination.

[ I am not condoning, just informing ]

Dave wants to wear a dress to school. Donald doesn't like it because he thinks only girls should wear dresses. Dave says he's a girl, too. Dave says she wants to be called Samantha. Other girls are perfectly happy with Samantha wearing a dress and playing with them, until Samantha chooses a doll which Marjorie wanted to play with. Angry that she can't play with her doll, Marjorie tells Donald Samantha is bad. Donald says; "See? I told you it was bad!" Meanwhile Kevin stole the doll Jocelyn was playing with and started kicking it around the schoolyard, breaking it as he does. Donald says "Dave caused that!" And half the other boys agree with him. Now Samantha gets sent home from school by the teacher for fighting with Donald, while Samantha had done nothing but wear a dress and play with dolls. Neither Dave in boy clothes, nor Samantha in girl clothes show up at school the next day. Donald keeps shouting that kids like Dave are the problem. Marjorie agrees with him. Kevin destroys another doll, but they're fine with that because he's not wearing a dress.

The problem with trying to explain it is that bigotted hatred isn't logical. Try to get any actual bigot to explain it and you'll get many (often contradictory) reasons.

The reality is both more boring and more sinister than what you probably expect if you're looking for sensible reasons.

People who hate are easier to control. The powers that be choose a minority that can be bullied without consequences, create bullshit reasons for it, and encourage people to be afraid of and hateful to that minority. Those fearful and hateful people raised kids to be fearful and hateful. Those kids grew up to make their own fearful and hateful offspring. Some of these kids grew up to join the ranks of the powers that be, and brought their fear and hate to the decision making process. Combine this with the systematic destruction of public education, and you have current events in the us.

Rich people want you to focus on people who can't defend themselves well, so you're looking away while the rich people are stealing money from you.

Hate is learned.

Homophobes lost the culture war around gay folks so now they've moved on to the next group they can abuse.

Fascism cannot function without scapegoats, and trans people are the smallest minority group. Once they normalize persecuting the smallest group, they move up to the next group which is slightly larger than the previous. It's the Nazi playbook.

It looks like autistic people are next, based on RFK's bullshit.

Envy.

Rowling is upset that she's had to endure a lifetime of misogyny, and envious of men. When she sees trans women, she assumes they have it better than her because they got to be male, and gets mad at them for not enjoying having what she wants.

Steven Crowder isn't trans, but he does have a crossdressing fetish, and he's mad trans women get to do his fetish all day long. He wants that, but he can't have it because he'd eventually feel dysphoric.

Andrew Tate is furious that nobody thinks he's pretty. He has to traffick women in order to get them to have sex with him. He wishes he had the attention that women get, and he's mad that trans women are "males" who get to be pretty. He doesn't want to be a woman, but he wants someone to find him attractive.

Donald Trump just wants to be the center of attention. He doesn't hate trans people, but he knows attacking them gets him attention. He wants to be in the news.

A lot of people don't personally know any trans people. A lot of right wing media says that trans people are bad and that they want to make a lot of changes to society that might effect you too. So it's easy to hate people when you don't actually know them, and your "news" is telling you that they are bad.

Alright, literal 5 year old, I'll give it a shot. Fair warning, most kids get these lessons in pieces over time, because attention spans. I don't know what your metaphorical 5 year old has learned so far though, so, sorry for the wall of text, but I think we have to start from the beginning:

Well, kid, you know how your parents always tell you that it's what's on the inside that counts? And that you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up? And that it's fun to do things different sometimes?

And you know how some children are boys, and some children are girls?

Well, in very special cases, when a baby is born... sometimes we only think they're a boy. They might even look like a boy.

But later, when that baby grows up, and learns how to talk, and tells us how they feel... it turns out that "boy" was really a girl on the inside all along!

And sometimes we think they're a girl, but they were really a boy on the inside all along!

And sometimes they don't really feel like a boy or a girl on the inside! Just remember that it's what's on the inside that counts. Whatever they look like on the outside, it's what they feel like that matters most.

Sometimes, when we call someone a boy, but they don't feel like a boy, that can upset them. If you know it makes them upset, then it's not nice to do that. It's not nice to call them names they don't like, even if you think you're right.

Well, there aren't a lot of children like that. They're very rare. Most boys feel like boys on the inside, and most girls feel like girls, and they grow up to be what we always thought they were. That's great for them!

But because they're so rare, most people have never met a special kid like that. Most people have never seen a child grow up to surprise everybody like that. And sometimes... sometimes adults don't like surprises.

You know how sometimes you're afraid of the dark? And sometimes you think there's a monster hiding in the closet? But you come find us, and we turn on the lights, and we check your closet together, and we show you there's nothing to be afraid of?

Well, adults can be scared too. They can be scared by what they don't understand. Sometimes, when they get surprised and confused, they see monsters where there aren't any, and that upsets them. And they get upset at those children, even though the child did nothing wrong.

That doesn't always make them bad people! Sometimes they never learn, but sometimes it just takes time for that poor kid to turn on the lights and help them see there's nothing to be scared of.

But sometimes, there are mean people who play tricks on those adults. They make scary noises and trick those adults into really believing in the monsters. They make those adults think that it's what's on the outside that counts, and that those special kids are like the monsters in the dark. But that's not nice.

It's not nice to scare people... but not everyone is nice all the time. Sometimes people are mean. Sometimes people like to lie, and cheat, and steal, and that's not nice. We don't do those things, because we don't like it when people do those things to us.

You know the boy who cried wolf?

Sometimes, those mean people make those scary noises and pretend the monsters are real, and they cry wolf, even when there are no wolves... and it works. Those confused, scared adults come running, because they don't know any better.

The story hasn't ended yet, and they don't know that there is no wolf, and so they keep running to chase it away, because they don't know it's all a trick by those mean people.

They can't see what's on the inside, and so they think those boys and girls are the ones being tricked, and they get angry and scared and they do all the wrong things because they think they're the ones who are right.

It's messy, and confusing, because sometimes things are messy and confusing.

But what you need to know, more than anything, is that it's what's on the inside that counts. There is no wolf to be afraid of when people are different or surprising. We can't see what's on the inside, so the best we can do is listen when someone tries to tell us how they feel, and do our best to be kind, and make them feel happy.

There is no valid reason to dislike trans people. There is no valid reason to care if someone is trans. There is no valid reason to treat trans people differently.

You can substitute any color, religion, and culture for the word trans too.

Personally I have an acquaintance that talks about how terrible trans people are all day. As far as I can tell he has no real personal reason to hate, but he subscribes to the republican agenda. The Republicans demonized Trans people so now he does too.

I really think it's that simple for these empty heads. They hear people on TV and such talk about the "terrible Trans people" who will "invade restrooms and grape your daughter" so that's their belief now.

It happens on both sides too. Far too many people just whole ass believe and subscribe to these talking points purely because it advances their parties agenda. Of course the parties have to sugarcoat it or straight up lie about these groups to push the belief. The evidence is right in front of us.

For example, this exact post. Talking about Trans hate like its everywhere all the time in our face. It's just not like that. Sure a lot of people hold these beliefs, fewer wholeheartedly believe all of it, even fewer will try to do something like write politicians about it, and even fewer will go to the streets and propagate their hate. But the old saying is true "if it bleeds it leads". Stories about hate and death are front page and shoved into our faces because it sells. Were all more aware of these problems because talking heads never shut up about it. The rise on social media and internet has made this problem exponentially worse.

Used to be if there was a shooting on the other side of the country I wouldn't hear about it. But now there can be a shooting in Australia, a LGBT hate parade in Europe, and civilian deaths in gaza, the news cycle will make sure I know about all of it.

Not saying it's a bad thing to know about stuff in other parts of the world, but we need to be careful lest we forget that the entire world isn't like this. It's overrepresented in media but it doesn't have to be our lives.

Also closeted Trans or something idk, I live with this same fear and these are the things I try to remind myself whenever it's just too much. Hope this helps.

Look at Umberto Eco's properties of fascism.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ur-Fascism

There's 14 properties. The fight against trans people falls into 8-10 different properties.

Trans people are a strawman for modern fascism. Just like immigrants.

The Patriarchy is weakened when gender is not absolute.

When the Patriarch is threatened hatred is the response

It's the 'ick' factor, plain and simple. The "culture war" is all about giving idiots a group of people to hate so you can win their votes by oppressing that group. Most of the world is cis, and most cis people never spend a second of their lives thinking about how their experience isn't universal. So when they see a trans person just living their lives, they're more apt to be judgmental than curious: "Obviously, if that person's lived experience is different from mine, there's something wrong with them."

Trans people are easy to scapegoat because they're a minority and their very existence challenges the narrow worldview that most cis people possess. They're a godsend for evil people looking to oppress people for power.

I think that att the core its the "ew!" factor combined with "i would love this but I'm too closeted and if I cannot have fun, nobody can" which is then used and abused by savvy politicians who need a scape goat for people to trample to death while they secretly steal the people blind.

I could be mistaken , though

A literal five-year old?

Well, you might be right. Some people hate others just because they're different.

Also, there are some bad people who want to make others hate trans people. Those bad people will make up lies that make trans people look bad. They'll tell stories that are lies, and make videos talking about those lies. And many people believe the lies, and start to hate trans people.

Trans people are an easy target because there are not many trans people. Well, there are many! But not as many as there are black people, for example. In fact, black people experienced similar hate and lies targetted towards them in the past. They still do today. Before, it was much worse. Thankfully, Black people grouped together to fight for their rights. They also had many allies help them in those fights. Trans people are doing the same now. That's why we need to ignore the lies, and be allies to Trans people.

Now, why did the bad people who spread the lies choose to lie about Trans people, and not some other group? It might be for three big reasons.

1. Trans people cannot stop being Trans, and there will always be Trans people. This means the bad people will always be able to spread their lies.
2. Trans people have a lot of things in their lives (like medical procedures) that are different and surprising to people who aren't trans. Things that are different and surprising can be scary to anybody sometimes.
3. Trans people have started fighting for their rights, and some bad people don't want to give rights to people who are different from themselves.

I know that's a lot to take in. What are your thoughts about it?

People need something to hate, decided to pick trans since they probably did zero research, decided "BoYs iN GiRls LocKeR RooM BaYuD!" And let the hate roll. Anything to make a bigot feel better about themselves, and misery is good company for a group of shitty people.

What they should focus on is all the hatred and rape and child molestation within the church

Trans women look like women, men want to fuck women and they usually arent picky. Men wanting to fuck the leggy blonde with huge tits and a penis just made them gay. How dare she make them gay!.

Its a trick to focus your attention away from your real enemy

Transphobia is not like other bigotries.

To get past anti-black bigotry, one can sympathize with what it's like to be disrespected or judged unfairly. To get past anti-homosexual bigotry one can sympathize with what it's like to have a sexuality that you didn't choose. In these examples, you have to reexamine how you think of other people.

But for a cis person to get past transphobia, you have to reexamine your ideals about sex and gender; you have to change how you think of yourself. This is threatening to identity and ego. If you add in the rigid and strict gender norms of reactionary thinking, it's threatening to the order of all things; a rebellion against God and country.

Donald Trump is a bully. Bullies like hurting people. They find someone different who can’t fight back, and attack them first. They try to get other people to hate those who are different and can’t fight back. Donald Trump is a bully who has decided trans people are different from others and can’t fight back. He manipulates other people by getting them to attack trans people too

I'll tell you what my parents told me. No, I do not think they're good reasons, but it's what they believe.

I do not share these beliefs with my parents.

They believe that you are born with a "truth" about what type of body you have. They don't believe hormone replacement therapy actually changes what gender you are. Sure it can have impacts on your behavior and body type, but if you stop taking them you'll revert back to "who you really are" (their words) "like when an alcoholic stops drinking they return to their natural normal self."

Because being a woman and giving birth are so tightly related in their mind, if you can't give birth post-op then whatever you had done was self mutilation at the hands of your doctor. Arguments about AFAB women that aren't fertile don't punch holes in their logic, because it's not logic.

They simply do not have thoughts about women transitioning to be men. That's a tomboy. They really only despise men who transition to become women as an impossibility, lying to themselves, and lying to everyone else "and we're supposed to play along with this obvious lie?"

Ultimately they don't believe anything you do changes that "fact" that was determined about your body when you were born. My dad will smuggly say that he wants to transition to be a frog. He wants surgery to make him more frog like and pills that make him think like a frog, but will be a frog? No, he'll be an asshole.

There are holes in their logic left and right because they aren't using logic. They've made the decision using emotions and feelings and backfill support for those beliefs however they can. My parents don't do it to be controlling, that's not their intention at least. It's probably because they themselves have not struggled with their identity. My dad, a man, has never questioned being a man. Being a man feels natural to him. To hear about somebody else transitioning probably makes him momentarily think about him transitioning and he doesn't want to do that. That's normal, BUT he overestimated what is natural about this feeling and instead of realizing it's a personal decision he believes people who have or are transitioning are unnatural.

I think most of the other comments are overthinking it.

Sure the bigots will come up with 'reasons' but I genuinely think it's mostly guys' fear of accidentally having feelings for someone who has or even had a penis: They don't want to be 'fooled into being gay' like it's contagious.
Even one of the slurs they use is "trap" - as though the intent of being trans was to catch innocent cis straight men off guard and corrupt them.
(Of course in reality being anything but upfront would likely just get the trans woman murdered, but so could being upfront. And the bigots think people choose it.)

Because you're thinking rationally. Transphobes aren't rational. You can't apply rational thought to irrational thought.

Rich people haven’t figured out how to profit from their existence so it’s not allowed.

One point I'd like to add is that trans identity can become an existential threat to a lot of people, in the philosophical sense of existentialism vs essentialism. If you base your entire life, identity and values off a single idea, then questioning that idea brings into question your entire existence. If you think your a man because you have a penis and that your hetero because your attracted to Afab women then the idea that a women can have a penis brings into question both of those identities and all the decisions in your life you made off those identities.

If you aren't secure in your sexual and gender identity these sort of questions can be very uncomfortable as doubt would lead to you doubting and regretting every decision you've made in your life leading to an existential crisis. So instead of facing this existential dread people will run from these questions and attack anything that may raise them to preserve their identity and ego.

Culture war nonsense is favored by governments that want you to have an "enemy" to point the finger at instead of them, it's a classic strategy that the Nazi party used during the Holocaust. We're susceptible to propaganda, all of us are, and a trans people are a minority that's easy to point at - and get a lot of people with rigid values on sex and gender to listen. You can get that basic "ew that's unnatural" response with bathroom or anti-trans women in sports rhetoric, regardless of whether there's merit to the claims.

Ironically, I think it’s actually rooted in the same cause of what makes trans people exist in the first place. Identity, who you are, is core to… well, who you are. It’s important. And gender is important to who you are. Not being who you are hurts, a lot. It can hurt so much that it can drive someone to suicide. We know this— this is the whole reason that accepting trans people is important, right? Not doing so can literally kill them in this way.

So is it so strange that non-trans people hold the same depth of conviction about keeping their same gender? “Oh, but why can’t they just accept that other people need to align their mental gender with their biological sex?” Because they don’t understand or believe that this is what is happening. Really. You know the thing where not having these thing aligned can KILL you? Well, they view being trans as actively CAUSING this state, deliberately inflicting it on someone. And that social pressure and acceptance of trans people is encouraging and/or driving more people to this horrible state of affairs. It’s killing more people!

It doesn’t help that it’s been hijacked by the culture wars to distract you from the class war and authoritarianism. But it being hijacked doesn’t mean there’s not a core misunderstanding, and it’s not a misunderstanding that can really be corrected or educated by simply saying “trans people exist”. Identity runs too deep, and threats to it are too scary— they can kill you, and kill you in a way far more terrifying than a bullet. Mere words and slogans are not going to cut through that fear. You need a foundational framework of understanding the world.

And that’s where the hijacking and red vs blue political nonsense comes into play. The culture wars doesn’t create the visceral fear of trans people— but it sure as heck makes it harder or even impossible to fix.

They make stupid people question themselves. When stupid people start questioning themselves they get frustrated and angry.

The main thing that's being thrown around is that all trans women are sexual predators, just like how all homosexual men were in the media in the 70s. now, like then, only half the people involved actually matter, because trans men/lesbians screw up the debate.

one thing i heard a while ago that resonated with me is that the "natural order" people seem to believe in "rank" men higher than women. it's the classical "women are supposed to be meek and stay at home" bullshit. so, in a world where gender is sex, is fixed at birth, and gender roles are also fixed, trans women (or, to use "their" vernacular, men choosing to present as women) are intentionally devaluing themselves. if you are indoctrinated into the value belief, this action is completely illogical and unnatural.

there are two ways out of that philosophical dilemma: either you take a good look at yourself and reassess your own values, or you conclude that these people must have some nefarious purpose to their actions. they must all be molesters, or pederasts, or both, and they're using their presentation as a disguise to get close to weaker people in order to take advantage of them. again, the existence of trans men and lesbians completely invalidate this, so they are ignored.

the fact that, as the "weaker" sex, women are constantly preyed upon anyway, and trans women more so than average, just doesn't register, because in this world trans women are "men" and therefore can't be preyed upon. the fact that it takes several years to go through a full transition and get a gender recognition certificate is entirely irrelevant because these people just dress up and then rape women (you know, unlike men).

the entire argument falls apart as soon as you think about it for more than five seconds, but it fits very well with the religious outrage that pops up ever so often.

Actually I don't know anybody who hates trans people. Tbf it's a pretty dull subject.

A few bad people who hate others because they think putting others down means they win picked a fight on the playground. They got other people on the playground to join them because they yelled the loudest and some kids thought that the louder you yelled, the more right you were. The people they were yelling about just wanted to be on the playground too, but the yelling people didn't want them on the playground, so despite the fact that they didn't want to, the people being yelled at played a competitive game against the people who were yelling.

After a long long long time (LOTS of sleeps) the yelling bad people won against the people they were yelling at.

The yelling people didn't know what to do then. They only knew how to be angry and they couldn't find anything else or anyone else to yell at and people were starting to leave their team because all the excitement was gone and there wasn't a competitive game to play anymore.

So the bad yelling people panicked and started randomly picking other, smaller groups of people on the playground to yell about. They made up things about them and told lies.

It didn't work at first, and they tried telling lies about lots of different groups of people one after another, and eventually they started picking on some people who were JUST different enough that some of their old yelling teammates who got bored and left believed those lies and joined the yelling again. There was SO much yelling and it was so much louder that it was impossible for anyone near the yelling people to hear the truth.

And that's how we got from "abortion as an issue" to "trans people as an issue".