this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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top 48 comments
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 minutes ago

Definitely my spine. There's a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 minutes ago

All y'all are picking dick.

But the correct answer is that balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 minutes ago

Skeletal structure.

This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 minutes ago (1 children)

Probably brain, responsetime

Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick

[–] [email protected] 1 points 19 minutes ago

I think somewhere on the internet there is a whole ass manhwa based on this concept

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

better brain

with that I can make more money and with that I can just buy new organs

[–] [email protected] 2 points 23 minutes ago (1 children)

Congrats. You now feel anxiety twice as intensely.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 minutes ago (1 children)

yeah but now I can buy 2x the anxiety meds because of all my money

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 minutes ago

Brain twice as powerful but so riddled with benzos that it functions at half capacity.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 hours ago

I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 hours ago

Sometimes I wonder if my brain was already donated.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you'd have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

The heart will take that on after the lung layoff.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Isn't that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

But I'll die.

I guess this isn't a good pick.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I already have a big cock. So I would choose a bigger cock.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 minutes ago

Hey, spare some cock for us too!

Hmm i think i worded that wrong...

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.

I'd upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it's learning capabilities well into my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won't have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).

After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

It said one organ, you went on a shopping spree haha.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 hours ago

From the moment I understood

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 hours ago

my skin, i think the one organ that protects all the other organs is long overdue for an upgrade

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago

My stamina is shit so lungs.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 hours ago (6 children)

My brain, i hate being neurodivergent it'd be so great to just fOCUSSS

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Considering what it means to be "normal" around me, I'd rather be divergent.
But then again, I manage to focus well enough.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

It's funny, there's a local TV program where people can anonymously ask adults and kids with various handicaps questions they wouldn't dare ask them directly and "would you rather not have it" is always one of them. The adults always dodge the question by saying that it's not as bad as it seems and so on and then the kids always reply like you did "I would much rather not have any issues!"

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 hours ago

The adults: I learned to live with it and now it became part of my identity

The kids: this sucks! everyone's mean to me and the world makes no sense!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago

I'd upgrade the depression away from my brain and give myself the ability for hyperfocus at will and to turn off sensory issues. Taking the autism and ADHD away altogether would leave me a different human, idk that almost feels like dying a little bit, or being lobotomized. Wouldn't want to lose a part of my brain that makes me me. But super valid to want to be neurotypical!

Thinking about it, if it counts as an organ, idk if I wouldn't rather change my immune system to stop attacking healthy tissue and get better at attacking viruses instead. Tough choice.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago

When a monkey's paw's last wish is spent, you have a monkey's fist.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 hours ago

The only upgrade I want is to be able to control the hyperfocus

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Me too with brain, I hate not being able to socialize.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 hours ago

Sinuses. Those fuckers are overdue for an upgrade. Can you imagine never being congested again?

Brain is the right answer but sinuses are #2.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago

My bones.

Also I checked, bones are an organ.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Banger post. Deaf community goes hard

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 hours ago

Sorry, can't hear you over my massive dong.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.

Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)

Everything else is perfect? You don't have joints?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 49 minutes ago

My joints are as good now as when I was 21, and they are supported by my broad range of glorious and balanced musculature.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Just an immortal pile of goo.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 13 minutes ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 hours ago

I wouldn't be optimistic, something else may break

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Can I just say “my immune system”? That’d prevent all kinds of diseases and make you cancer proof!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

not an organ and having a stronger immune system would kill you

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago

Post didn’t say stronger it said upgrade. And it wouldn’t be an upgrade if it killed me!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago

Deafinitly one of the choices