this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Shitty Food Porn

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I think she's a keeper

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 96 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Damn... Wtf did you do to piss her off that she boiled the bacon while boiling the eggs?

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Energy efficiency. It's no crime to care about global warming 🧐

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago

The methane the pig and chicken made are worse than the gas it would take to cook them.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The amount of energy you (as a consumer) use is nominal in comparison to big corporations; especially the big corporate farms. So you might as well heat up a second pan to make the bacon, because you’re suffering unnecessarily for no gains.

But make no mistake, what I said above is in no way a negative reflection on you or your future wife.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

You’re as bad as the chauffeur, who – directly after my wedding ceremony – said β€œYou still have 24 hours to change your mind”. πŸ™„

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[–] equivocal@lemm.ee 18 points 1 year ago

Are we just ignoring the significant amount of energy it would take to get a pot of water up to a boil?

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In that case I agree, def. a keeper.

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[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 10 points 1 year ago

Bacon abuse is a crime.

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[–] krgn@lemmy.sdf.org 76 points 1 year ago

Are you certain she likes you?

[–] dicksteele@lemm.ee 53 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A pig died so that she could boil a part of it into shoe leather. Then you had to eat it. The things we do for sex…

[–] goldemboy@sh.itjust.works 51 points 1 year ago

Yeah πŸ™ƒ Keep'er far away from the kitchen.

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

I hope you call your girlfriend BB from now on. Not because it is a bastardization of "Baby" but because it is short for boiled bacon.

[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My brain is now forever tainted with the idea that you can, and some people do, boil bacon.

[–] nik282000@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago (5 children)

If you put a little water in the pan with cold bacon it will steam for a bit and help render out the fat before it then deep-fries in that fat. To much water and you get whatever this is.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Y'all've seriously never tried grilling your bacon in the oven? The fat just melts off and leaves your bacon perfect. If you like it crispy, just leave it in for a bit longer.

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[–] knuckleproof@lemm.ee 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Frying both the egg and bacon would probably use much less energy and be 100 times more tasty than whatever this is.. If I have to boil bacon, I might as well not eat it at all.. πŸ˜…

[–] Sturgist@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago

If I have to boil bacon, I might as well not eat it at all.. πŸ˜…

This gave me a sudden flash of Uncle Roger. If you boil bacon, bacon is fuckt up. Aya!

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 23 points 1 year ago

Can't be, no beans.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck off. No English plate has seen bacon and eggs that grim.

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 9 points 1 year ago

Ooooh the breakfast horrors at my hotel in Paignton.

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[–] moog@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 29 points 1 year ago

I swear I saw the bacon move.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What crime did she commit against the Bacon?

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm washing the pot now. It was boiled in the same pot water as the eggs. Saves electricity

[–] jodanlime@midwest.social 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just fry my eggs in the bacon grease, same energy, probably not as healthy but it doesn't look like a crime scene either.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 26 points 1 year ago

Possibly less. Boiling a pot of water takes quite a lot of energy

[–] Rambomst@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

You're saving 2c and wasting bacon.... If you want to boil everything maybe pick foods that aren't depressing when boiled.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did she boil the fucking bacon? Is that how it came out that way? I don't know it's weird. I mean hard-boiled eggs just do that sometimes but what the fuck. It's not hard to throw it in a frying pan. My fiance bakes it which is... Fine...

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, all cooked in the same pot at the same time as the eggs :>

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Call ICE on her. If she’s white, tell them she’s irish. They don’t count as white again, so she’ll get sent to Venezuela where she might learn something about cooking. It might be cooking meth, but that’s still preferable to whatever that atrocity in the picture is.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago

"May your bacon always be boiled." is certainly a worthwhile curse.

[–] lost_faith@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hmm, good old weaponized incompetence

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago

Lmao that's so real, I think she boiled the bacon out of spite.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I'd be grateful to have anyone in my life that would think to cook for me. I'd eat this without complaint and thank them.

Then, I'd offer to teach them to cook. We aren't born knowing how, it's a learned skill.

[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It looks more pink than red to me.

[–] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

That's grey/gray

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

We shall cook these items in the light of the sun. -Human girlfriend

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Well, she's definitely not a cooker.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This was not an act of love, but rather the exact opposite

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

"Hey, why don't I cook next time?"

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