this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 days ago (3 children)

It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can't let that happen again.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago

The events inspired the band Powerwolf.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

"The Pope was bitten by a wolf while going out for a shit. Somebody call Maxwell!"

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[–] [email protected] 76 points 4 days ago

+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

It was in a book of papal facts my very Catholic childhood friend had on the bus one time, so I buy it. One additional aspect I remember is that they call them by their Christian/given name when they hit them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Popehammer is my favorite Elder Scrolls artifact.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago

Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.

Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Plot twist: THAC0 bonus actually reduced your THAC0

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

This felt like a personal attack

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)

my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

What does it actually mean?

Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 days ago

The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

"I fear the Pope has died!"

"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"

*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham

"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)

What about the holy hand grenade?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.

Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Gotta love The Book of Armaments.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Jesus allegedly came back, they aren't taking those kinds of risks these days

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Do you know how many more murals they'd have to paint?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Pope Says he's feeling better now...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

This is false! Everybody knows that they smother the pope's face with a huge hoe's ass to confirm his death.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

D'oh, it should say "another target Cleric" to avoid confusion.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

The hammer is in fact eight feet long.

They're making really sure.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

that's still a good 40-50 years of use!

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Live your life such that they have to verify your death

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I prefer the Holy Ball-Peen.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Which side do they hit him with?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

The papal tappy taps

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

The silver hammer of Saint Maxwell.

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