this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If a post is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Be nice. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements to private messages.
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[–] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 77 points 8 months ago

+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.

[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 53 points 8 months ago (3 children)

It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 42 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Can't let that happen again.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 8 months ago

The events inspired the band Powerwolf.

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[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 34 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 33 points 8 months ago

The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon

[–] bdot@lemmy.world 30 points 8 months ago (2 children)

my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that

[–] creamlike504@jlai.lu 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

What does it actually mean?

Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.

[–] logos@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago

In this case it seems to fit pretty well.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 28 points 8 months ago

Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.

Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

D'oh, it should say "another target Cleric" to avoid confusion.

[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 16 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What about the holy hand grenade?

[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.

Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.

[–] bradinutah@thelemmy.club 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Gotta love The Book of Armaments.

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[–] derpgon@programming.dev 4 points 8 months ago

HAAAALELUJAH

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 20 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes

[–] lime@feddit.nu 10 points 8 months ago

that's still a good 40-50 years of use!

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[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 12 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths

[–] Rolder@reddthat.com 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?

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[–] El_Azulito@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago (5 children)

I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.

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[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 11 points 8 months ago

The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

"I fear the Pope has died!"

"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"

*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham

"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."

[–] qbus@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago
[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I prefer the Holy Ball-Peen.

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[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)

you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0

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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 6 points 8 months ago

The papal tappy taps

[–] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Which side do they hit him with?

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 6 points 8 months ago (3 children)
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[–] smegger@aussie.zone 6 points 8 months ago

Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

The silver hammer of Saint Maxwell.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Live your life such that they have to verify your death

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

That is some Guilliman level artifact

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 8 months ago
[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I wish I wasn't at work on mobile... I really want to take that chart of hammers posted on Lemmy a few days ago and add the dead pope hammer lol

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Sloppy job on mobile, but here:

[–] atlas@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago

the title on the weapon alone deserves its own post. top tier

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago

I really want a flanged mace

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 4 points 8 months ago

It's perfect! Pope-tato masher is amazing lol

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[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Bing, Bong, Witch is dead!

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