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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
Keurig coffee makers. My first one killed itself during descaling, the in-warranty replacement’s buttons were cursed and never worked. I always felt guilty for destroying the planet one K-Cup at a time too.
The terrible devices actually encouraged me to grind my own beans and make Japanese-style pour over iced coffees.
TV + Android box (Nvidia shield TV) + Soundbar.
This trio is a bug-riddled experience, constantly changing behavior without explaination, frequently malfunctioning.
All I want it to do is Jellyfin, YouTube and occasionally Twitch. I just want 1 on/off button on 1 remote that will turn on and off the whole system. Keypad to navigate, Ok and back buttons.
One day, the Soundbar decided it will only turn on automatic 1 out of 10 times from now on. Why ? Sometimes the video output will be green and I have to reboot the android box. Why? If my SO stand up from her chair in the other room, the TV will turn black from 5 seconds. Why ? The biggest button on the remote is NETFLIX that I don't use and it's very easy to accidentally press it and the remapping software only works sometimes. Why ?
This is so frustrating, also because there aren't any fix possible. Any suggestions online may or may not work, most often they don't. I am just stuck with this technology that is expensive, but still garbage and no better alternatives exist on the market.
My old microwave wouldn't cook anything if the date wasn't set.
Yes. The date.
Ah, my old oven did that trick with the clock.
Even better is that it was a strange brand and didnt have an easily findable online manual, the only way to set the date was to first push the 'alarm set' and 'alarm cancel' buttons at the same time, then use the + & - buttons to change the time.
Now that's a good prank
Find an old 70s Amana Radarange on Marketplace or whatever local selling forum is available to you.
I have both 1972 (analog rotary dials) and 1976 (electrostatic push button) models, and they can bring a cup of water to boil in less than 30 seconds. Most any modern microwave I’ve tried this on needed 2-8 minutes to do the same damn thing.
The microwave, because my roommates insist on having a model that beeps every 30 seconds after it finishes cooking so you don't forget you had food in there. They still forget, though. It just gets on my nerves while I try to wash some dishes while waiting for the microwave to finish, or if I'm using it as part of prepping while cooking.
Is a printer an appliance? 🤔
I dont remember when but the printer was an evil demon sent from hell, then all of a sudden printers just got good.
I cant remember what the last serious issue I had with a printer was.
I cant remember what the last serious issue I had with a printer was.
I do, it was immediately before I switched to a Brother.
Do printers count? I fucking HATE printers.
After some half a century of existing they are somehow still annoying to use.
Nothing makes me particularly angry, but I'd really like if my washing machine had an accurate sense of time. It's so far off sometimes I might as well just pretend there's no timer. 1 hr 10? Come back in 1 hr to find it's got 58 minutes to go. Which is sometimes 10 minutes but might actually be 58. Or 30. Or 70.
Dumb fucking thing. Doesn't even do multiple cycles in a row so it's not like the timer resets for the next bit.
"Smart" TVs.
I just want my TV to show pretty pictures with sound thrown at it by the digital receiver. If I want, I can attach a computer for streaming. How is that such a big ask?!
TV's are actually cheaper not because the tech necessarily being more available (even though it should) but instead it's because companies are harvesting your data on smart tv's and selling it making more profit than they would make with just selling you a TV. On a separate but somewhat related note, has anyone else noticed smart phones becoming more expensive as they become more protective of the users privacy?
Microwaves are allowed one proud "ding" or three "beep" before they are on my hate-list.
My microwave has an un-interuptable 6 shrill beeps, that then repeat if the door is not opened in 10 seconds. There is no mute option, and it can be heard everywhere in the house. I have seriously considered just ripping the speaker out of it. It is, without a doubt, the appliance I hate most in my house.
My fridge because once a year it seems the coils freeze over.
Printers. There is no excuse for (consumer) printers to be as shitty as they are.
There are reasons, but none of them are excuses: If patent hell wasn't a main obstacle put in place by the large printer manufacturers, I am sure open source hardware alternative would've forced industry improvements ages ago.
ZigBee buttons for Home Assistant.
A few years ago we bought a dishwasher when we were in no place to be spending money on something unnecessary, but my wife was 8 months pregnant and wanted one. We bought the cheapest one at I think Lowes, if I recall correctly it was around $100, maybe $120.
The ducking thing doesn't have buttons, it has some stupid sensor panel, not touchscreen but is supposed to mimic it I guess. The sensors just don't fucking work, ever. I spend 10 minutes loading the thing and 15 minutes trying to get it to start. Most of the time I have to cut the power from the breaker a few times to eventually get it to work. It'll just change through all the settings beeping like crazy, so we have to keep it shut which means our dishes don't dry properly. For a while I could only get it to start on the intense mode so it took 3 hours to run, now it only works on normal. It's like I have to do a magic spell each time but the steps change weekly.
I would love to throw it out and get a new one but it technically works and it's only 3 years old.
When you have the money, get a Bosch 800 series.
Like, my god it’s practically perfection. Don’t use pods, you need to use HE powder, but otherwise this is the best consumer dishwasher I have ever seen short of an industrial model.
Using pods is a waste of money anyway
They’re also not good for the dishwasher. Or the environment.
...or consider boycotting Bosch, due to their move towards cloud-required-to-run dishwashers.
Watch the first 30 seconds of this to see how much nonsense the Bosch 500 has going on.
Things must have changed in the last five years, then. The 800 my wife and I got back in 2000 has none of that malarkey.
Yes, I think this has only changed this year.
It is both astounding and a shame that these cloud restrictions have been added.
With enough negative feedback to manufacturers, and a drop in unit purchases, these usage limitations can be removed on future models, similar to how touch-controls of in-car systems are starting to return to physical controls.
A dishwasher is, IMHO, not unnecessary. If they're used efficiently ie only run when they're full, they use considerably less water than washing by hand does, does a better job than I do and I push a button and don't have to participate any more until it's done. Plus, depending on the energy makeup of your country/home setup, use a lot less energy to heat the water than your domestic hot water does too.
Maybe I'm just stupid but I have a helluva time opening cans
Get a P38.
It works.
My wife doesnt like how much noise it makes and says its messy and violent and dangerous to open anything with a gun. We are eating a lot more soup now though.
Agreed. Simple, cheap, reliable, and faster than struggling with that piece of shit opener that barely works and you should have thrown away years ago.
If I were running a soup kitchen, I'd have a different preference, but reliable lever openers like the P38, P51, or even the opener on a leatherman serves my needs better than any of these POS twist-style openers.
those are great when you need to pack light, but holy shit it's a pain in the ass to open a can with those things. feels like it's going to rip my goddamn fingers off
Printers/Fax machines.
Get yourself a Brother brand laser printer. Best damn printer I've ever used. Every device auto connects as long as it's on the wifi and it's never failed to print in the thousands of sheets I've ran through it, with and without the software package they offer. Basic drivers are good enough for 90% of what I've needed
Or for low tech bulletproof reliability, a vintage HP 4050DTN. Mine has lasted a quarter century and two degrees on only 3 toner cartridges, a JetDirect module upgrade, and paper. It’s still working with the original fuser and rollers, although they’re beginning to need replacement.
I have a Samsung printer that simply hates me. Whenever I need to print something urgently it will disappear from the wifi. It shows up for a few milliseconds when restarted and disappears again. However when you have the time and energy to investigate the problem it works flawlessly.
I keep buying cheap toaster ovens. I keep paying the price for it. At least I know my smoke alarms work
Get yourself a nice Panasonic one. $150-ish I have one that's over 10 years old
Dishwashers
Modern ones have too many features that can break and brick the whole thing and the cheap ones never get good powerful pumps so they spray like shit. Just make a basic mechanical timed dishwasher with a super powerful pump and I will be all in.
The stove in the place I rent. Only been living here maybe 2 years... and that thing is the devil. I thought it was just me getting used to an electric stove again. Nope, that thing is just a piece of shit.
Nothing can simmer, nothing can be left unattended for more than a few minutes (at most), it can't maintain anything close to a consistent temperature, and forget boiling water before you die of old age... I use an electric kettle just so I can boil noodles in less than 40 minutes
Maybe it's my pots?... nope, I've tried. Maybe I'll get better at using it?... no, and at this point I wouldn't even want to. It's just a piece of shit. My mother-in-law is a great cook, and she was pissed when she burned smothered chicken on it... because she hasn't burned smothered chicken in probably 20+ years; she confirms the stove is garbage
Fuck that stove
Thanks for hearing my rant, I feel a little better now
Edit: I forgot to mention that the fucker is BRAND NEW too. We're literally the first people to use it. Garbage-ass, giant piece of horse shit...
any fucking thing with touchscreens or touch buttons. those stupid things barely ever work and imagine not being able to use your appliance once that shit breaks.
If it needs an app or internet connectivity - it can go fuck itself.
We've gone nearly a century of appliances that didn't need this shit. Apps or the Internet itself will not and never will, make things easier to do tasks than they already were easier to do before.
