this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 129 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Every top assassin knows to start your emails by explaining you are in fact a top assassin.

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Noone wants to be confused with a bottom assassin.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

the assassassin is to be feared

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

If there's a "best" assassin, it stands to reason that there's also a "worst" assassin.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Maybe the worst assassins are all the friends we made along the way.

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmynsfw.com 36 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Well it would be stupid to say you are a bad assassin, think it through dummy.

[–] antsu@discuss.tchncs.de 54 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pull an "Albanian virus":

"Hi, I am an Albanian assassin but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to assassinate you. Please be so kind to assassinate yourself and then forward me the proof. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards,Albanian assassin"

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I relate a lot to this assassin.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

think it through dummy.

Pacifier or mannequin? What kind of dummy are you thinking it through?

(The comma splice didn't have the same potential)

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 month ago

Hmm, I vote for "crash test".

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

yeah i want to get referrals from the widow and new husband

[–] Tiger_Man_@szmer.info 10 points 1 month ago

Professionals have standards

[–] SirActionSack@aussie.zone 8 points 1 month ago

Top Assassin (in the room).

Definitely in the top three assassins on the street (depending on the street)

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Once there’s 47 Re:’s in the subject of the final email a call comes in

“Contract complete. Well done 47.”

Another classic Hitman assassination of getting someone to kill themselves due to never ending meaningless emails

[–] moody@lemmings.world 5 points 1 month ago

All you gotta do is convince them you're a bottom and they leave you alone.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Top top, or like top 10 in the graduating class?

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Know what they call an assassin that graduated last in his class? "Assassin"

Everybody knows this information goes in the signature.