this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2026
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Narrows it down a bit, I guess ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 2 days ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
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[โ€“] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Rev 1:14-16, New International Version has Jean-Baptiste's account of Jesus's appearance:

14The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. 15His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. 16In his right hand he held seven stars, and coming out of his mouth was a sharp, double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.

He has white hair. โœ…

[โ€“] tetris11@feddit.uk 30 points 2 days ago (3 children)

[โ€“] prettybunnys@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago

Mfer was just hunting dragon balls

[โ€“] TachyonTele_Esq@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago

It's like looking into the past

[โ€“] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah but that's Revelation. So it's like when Gandalf comes back as Gandalf the White. It doesn't mean his hair was always white.

[โ€“] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

i prefer gandalf the mocha. he had goooood hips

[โ€“] ElderReflections@fedia.io 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's just his SSJ form though

[โ€“] Jacob_Mandarin@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Hmmm. Depending on how you see it he did get stroger after a near death experience. So that checks out.

[โ€“] lime@feddit.nu 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

nothing in there about clothes, hmmmmm

[โ€“] decolo@piefed.social 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Big Jeezy hangs dong, brother

[โ€“] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

and not just one dong. Big Jeezy has dong enough for anyone who wants to borrow a few (See John 6)

[โ€“] GloriousGasHole@piefed.social 9 points 2 days ago

I think Jesus was a Witcher.

[โ€“] onthesolivine@fedia.io 13 points 2 days ago

a lot of this description is fire related, maybe they just caught Jesus at a bad time?

[โ€“] davidgro@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

And a sharp tongue, which isn't usually a physical description.

[โ€“] Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Complicated way to say he was a little bitch who would talk shit.

[โ€“] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Maybe he used it for cutting his veggies. We will never know

[โ€“] Nangijala@feddit.dk 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Did he yell kamehameha?

[โ€“] Kalothar@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They didnโ€™t have words for it then, but that was the 7 stars in his right hand

All hail Ultra Instinct Jesus, Amen

[โ€“] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

I thought the seven stars alluded to the dragon balls? It's been a while since I studied Scripture though

[โ€“] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

White hair, "blazing" eyes, a shining bright face... did Jesus have albinism (with sunburned feet)?