this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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So what do you suggest? The internet, tv, everyday life, etc is full of people doing the wrong thing constantly and being rewarded insanely for it.
Then a person posts a wholesome story that might inspire others to kindness and your response is this?
What a sad world we live in right now.
You kind of need good actions TO BE SEEN. Come on man.
You get those stories from the mother posting about how a bakery did this really nice thing for her.
From my perspective, if someone advertises that they did <nice thing> then it's just ad spend. Give them kudos for spending a portion of their marketing budget on charity rather than just commercials, but it is still marketing. This can apply to individuals building up their social reputation too.
So we should do good deeds in complete silence and just hope that someone notices.
I hate to break it you guys but that's not working anymore. It hasn't for decades.
no. the fact you want someone to notice robs the good deed of it's goodness.
because you only did it for your own selfish gain. you're so selfish that you can't conceive of doing good without it being recognized as it's own reward.
But don't worry, that's 'normal'. in our society. in our society, doing something without it having value to yourself is considered a mental illness, because we have so internalized capitalism and greed, you can't even conceive of not gaining something from doing something for someone else
and hence why we live in brutally transactional world, and why everyone cries about how relationships and community is falling apart... because they don't see any point unless THEY get something out of it.
No it doesn't. If you do it specifically for clout, that is not a good deed. But doing a good deed and then telling others about it because it made you feel good isn't.
Naw dawg, when I do a good thing I want people to notice. Not so that I get a reward or social credit for doing something nice. Fuck that. I want to normalize doing nice things. I want people to talk about the nice thing I did, then when they have a chance to do something nice they remember me and pass it forward. I want someone else to benefit from my kindness and for that act of kindness to propagate forward.
Exactly.
Saw a couple of kids recently gather some litter off the ground and throw it away.
Myself and a few other people noticed and gave those kids major props.
We need to encourage civility for everyone's sake.
Every sentence there is about you making yourself feel good.
None if it, is about how the other people feel.
No, it's about them wanting other people to do good things, and trying to encourage that by example. And I think they have a point - it's hard to model a behavior when nobody is aware of it, and it's hard to normalize a behavior nobody talks about
'be like me so i feel good about myself'
that's egotism.
these behaviors are already normal and normalized the fact you think they aren't is so bizarre. people are nice to each other all the time, except on lemmy.
just because you don't see shit doesn't mean it doesn't exist. but true that internet weirdos seem to think the only thing that does exist is the doomerism oppression of the world they constantly upvote and cultivate.
There is no such thing as a selfless good deed. We're social animals. We feel GOOD when people around us feel GOOD. We're intelligent animals. We notice this pattern and conclude that if we make another person feel good, WE'LL feel good too. This is virtuous.
Sharing good deeds make them feel NORMAL and people like to follow the standards for normal behaviour to fit in. This creates a virtuous circle.
Sure some people only do a good deed to advertise it because they'll get more capital out of it than the cost of the deed. But that's not what's happening here. I don't know the store or the owner, they get nothing from me.
Actually doing good shit instead of making up bullshit stories on the internet would be a fantastic start. Maybe not spend half the post glazing themselves too.
"What do you suggest?"
..... to do good deeds without announcing them. I thought it was pretty clear from the post.
So you punch down at anyone who dares to be inspired by a feel good story?
You think you're helping?
You're not. The only thing you're doing is giving people who see your opinion another reason to only think of themselves.
Punching down? I am helping. You didn't seem to understand from the post that the OP was suggesting you just do good deeds and NOT post about them online.
Get pissed cuz I'm answering YOUR question lol
"don't let perfect be the enemy of good"
No. You don't.
You're not a good person if you need it to be acknowledged by others. That's precisely what leads to perverse performative behaviors, and stupid shit like volentourism, where everyone is being exploited to generate a image for the customer that they have done something selfless and good for someone else, when all it's done is line the pockets of the people who run those orgs.
Frankly, I quite a volunteer org two years ago because they decided the good they were doing had to be acknowledged publicly, and they should get money, and the people involved should get a cut of that money... oh and we should only help the 'most unfortunate' people because that will score us more points/money.... that's no longer volunteering. That's your typical capitalism mindset in a non-profit coating. Don't do things for people unless you can get maximum return from your effort...
So we just assume the intention is always malice.
That's an exhausting way to live
you're the one who can't think in anything other than absolutes.
I think you really believe that the world is as black and white as you think it is.
Good luck with that.
Doing a good deed and telling someone about it because it made you and someone else feel good is not an inherently bad thing and you clearly lack the nuance to understand any different.
I feel bad for you.
cool, i feel bad for you that nothing has any value unless you can brag about it to someone else.