this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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So we should do good deeds in complete silence and just hope that someone notices.
I hate to break it you guys but that's not working anymore. It hasn't for decades.
no. the fact you want someone to notice robs the good deed of it's goodness.
because you only did it for your own selfish gain. you're so selfish that you can't conceive of doing good without it being recognized as it's own reward.
But don't worry, that's 'normal'. in our society. in our society, doing something without it having value to yourself is considered a mental illness, because we have so internalized capitalism and greed, you can't even conceive of not gaining something from doing something for someone else
and hence why we live in brutally transactional world, and why everyone cries about how relationships and community is falling apart... because they don't see any point unless THEY get something out of it.
No it doesn't. If you do it specifically for clout, that is not a good deed. But doing a good deed and then telling others about it because it made you feel good isn't.
Naw dawg, when I do a good thing I want people to notice. Not so that I get a reward or social credit for doing something nice. Fuck that. I want to normalize doing nice things. I want people to talk about the nice thing I did, then when they have a chance to do something nice they remember me and pass it forward. I want someone else to benefit from my kindness and for that act of kindness to propagate forward.
Exactly.
Saw a couple of kids recently gather some litter off the ground and throw it away.
Myself and a few other people noticed and gave those kids major props.
We need to encourage civility for everyone's sake.
Every sentence there is about you making yourself feel good.
None if it, is about how the other people feel.
There is no such thing as a selfless good deed. We're social animals. We feel GOOD when people around us feel GOOD. We're intelligent animals. We notice this pattern and conclude that if we make another person feel good, WE'LL feel good too. This is virtuous.
Sharing good deeds make them feel NORMAL and people like to follow the standards for normal behaviour to fit in. This creates a virtuous circle.
Sure some people only do a good deed to advertise it because they'll get more capital out of it than the cost of the deed. But that's not what's happening here. I don't know the store or the owner, they get nothing from me.
No, it's about them wanting other people to do good things, and trying to encourage that by example. And I think they have a point - it's hard to model a behavior when nobody is aware of it, and it's hard to normalize a behavior nobody talks about
'be like me so i feel good about myself'
that's egotism.
these behaviors are already normal and normalized the fact you think they aren't is so bizarre. people are nice to each other all the time, except on lemmy.
just because you don't see shit doesn't mean it doesn't exist. but true that internet weirdos seem to think the only thing that does exist is the doomerism oppression of the world they constantly upvote and cultivate.