this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
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Anon is Wario (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 132 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 79 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You're wrong

[–] Huschke@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I mean, how could you not

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

antidepressants?

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 5 points 10 months ago

too real

[–] deuleb_biezelbob@programming.dev 5 points 10 months ago

terminal cancer

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 47 points 10 months ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

It wooshed me on the first read, I probably wouldn't have gotten the joke if your comment didn't make me do a double take 🙂

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 36 points 10 months ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

fake && gay

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] bilb@lem.monster 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.