Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed
C is a LETTER, not a language
Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN
"I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE

Look at what PROGRAMMERs have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS)

FUNNY COLORED LETTERS (with a picture of syntax-highlighted code)
178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? (with a picture of compilation errors
A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE (with a picture of a 3d rendered teapot.

IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGH IN DOING while(true{print(money);}

end transcript.

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[–] Mothproof2212@feddit.org 70 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Why are you trying to write python? Just get one from the pet shop!

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Rust is even easier, you probably have some you aren't even using. Check in the bikeshed.

[–] LinyosT@sopuli.xyz 9 points 10 months ago

Why are you writing Rust? Do you want to get tetanus?

[–] jef@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago

Don't understand why it takes people so long anyways, took me like 5 seconds to write it.

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[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 50 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A client with s very low budget wanted a solution for their filing. We suggested they could get more bang for their bucks with preprinted paper forms, pens and a cabinet than going for software. They were not amused.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

and if they want to go fancy and cheap, suggest excel.

[–] nullPointer@programming.dev 42 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I just tell people that I am a "professional button pusher"

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Knowing which buttons to push is the valuable part though.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 21 points 10 months ago

That's what diffs a professional button pusher from an amateur button pusher.
When you know which buttons in which order get you money, you become a professional.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 15 points 10 months ago

I dont know where I heard this story but it was something like the following:

In a company a very valuable machine breaks and becomes inoperable, so they call the support. They send a mechanic to fix the machine. The mechanic arrives inspects the machine, opens it, presses a button and it works as if nothing happened. The manager then asks why he is paying the mechanic just to press a button. The mechanic answers "you aren't paying me for pressing the button, but for knowing which button to press".

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

while 1 print money

Central banks obfuscate this code a bit, but its all about having the right printer hooked up.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Well, they use a for loop that whatever group of bureaucrats has to enter a limit into, but basically yes.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 31 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Ok but that is actually a nonsensical statement. In no case will using threads and recursion reduce cpu usage

[–] masterspace@lemmy.ca 14 points 10 months ago

Oh I can use threads and recursion to stop CPU usage.

[–] limer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maybe if the threads pause a lot, and pause even more as the stack unwinds to the final exciting conclusion.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 6 points 10 months ago

I suppose that's true. And also deranged to do it on purpose

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[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 23 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Science? There's science behind the clusterfuck we call software nowadays?

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think it's only getting worse. I always assumed the next generation will be more tech savvy than the last one. I had to learn windows/mac/dos when i grew up, just to play some video games. There was a lot of troubleshooting and hardware problems i had to figure out. When i was 25, people would tell me that their 5 year old can use their ipd better than they can. (Ipads just came out.) I thought these kids are gonna be computer wizards when they grow up. It was the absolute opposite. I talked to these kids when they were around 16 again, and they were absolutely clueless. If it wasn't an ipad or an app they could use, they might as well play with a piece of glass. Can you do ..... On an ipad? Hmm, what app is that? It's not an app is something you do, like a setting. Hmmm... I'll check the app store.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 10 months ago

Yep, 1990-2010 was kind of the golden age for learning computers on the fly. They were too rare and inaccessible before, and they're too polished and sandboxed now.

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Vaguely.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Misinterpreted, abused, generally mistreated, ignored and disrespected.

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[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I mean, the entirety of Steam's code could maybe be described as an obfuscated version of

while(true){ print(money); }

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Twitter is just a wrapper around a database.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 4 points 10 months ago

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[–] Gork@lemm.ee 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

We need more funding for RGB lit components for our programmers since this will make them better programmers

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I am able to get components with unwanted lighting all over the place, but none where lighting is desirable.

Didn't ask for lighting in my fans, got them.
Didn't ask for lighting on my motherboard, got it.
Didn't ask to a blinding light in the power indicator of my monitor, which is brighter than the screen itself. Had to tape it up.
Took a real while to find a cabinet without glass/acrylic stuff, because that's all people sell nowadays.
Asked for a good backlit keyboard for a reasonable price. I had to make cutouts out of glow-in-the-dark stickers.
- RGB everywhere by default, but getting even a single coloured backlight on a keyboard ramps up the price like anything.

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (6 children)

What's the teapot?

[–] doeknius_gloek@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

HTTP 418

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

I'm a t... I'm BATMAN.

[–] MaggiWuerze@feddit.org 21 points 10 months ago

Its a traditional shape you try to recreate in algorithmic 3d graphics

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

A standard reference model in 3d modeling.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utah_teapot

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

Almost certainly HTTP 418:

https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTTP/Status/418

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utah_teapot

[–] Tja@programming.dev 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It's a device to brew tea in.

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[–] onlyhalfminotaur@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Where is "they've played us for absolute fools"

[–] thickertoofan@lemm.ee 13 points 10 months ago

Yeah it's all propaganda, I like bashing a keyboard's keys due to sexual reasons.

[–] _____@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

using threads to reduce cpu usage ? in what world ? if you can parallelize tasks you will always increase the workload done.

[–] sus@programming.dev 18 points 10 months ago

they said optimize CPU usage, not reduce CPU usage. clearly they actually want to increase CPU utilization in this mysterious "0.02%" situation in order to get the results faster

[–] A_A@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

:) + Bitcoin mining :
while(true{print(money);}

[–] Tja@programming.dev 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There's like 2 syntax errors in this one liner.

[–] A_A@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

🤣, welcome {( to ] ] !programmer_humor

[–] Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

Weimar Republic thought of exactly that

[–] Scoopta@programming.dev 8 points 10 months ago (3 children)

"Write it in a paper"...I'm not sure how that works but I am very curious

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

Write so hard out of anger that you rip the paper.

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[–] BillTheTailor@lemmy.ml 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Developer here: can confirm. (#4 is actually true.)

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Indeed, anytime I optimize code, it ends up taking more CPU to run.

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[–] ertai@programming.dev 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Honestly I'm disappointed. The reasons exposed here are much too weak.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes, let's forget that that image is created on a computer

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No, I made it pixel by pixel on a piece of paper, and then scanned it to spread the word.

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