Americans now need a wanking license.
this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
13 points (100.0% liked)
Greentext
7746 readers
715 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Idaho is starting a registry for at-risk men with erections, to prevent impure thoughts. You need to send a picture of your dick, where it will be validated by an evangelical priest.
Life begins at erection.
OI OI OI!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀
⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
WOTS ALL THIS???
🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
YER WANKIN' LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
The whole porn ban thing is probably my all-time favorite example of conservatives voting against themselves.
Meanwhile, in California, I can watch all the porn I want without registering myself in a database and walk down the street to the weed store. And the women in my life still have rights over their own bodies.
So I guess Democrats are actually the party of freedom.
Yeah but could you imagine voting for them?
Fortunately, this is easy to work around, just get a VPN hosted in a didn't different state or country.
We have something similar here in Utah, so I have a WiFi network that is always connected to a VPN in a neighboring state. If something isn't accessible, I just swap WiFi networks and I'm good.
So what who cares. VPNs cost money and this is a question of basic freedom.
Free porn is basic freedom?
Not all nudity is porn.
Accessing it without violating your privacy is the issue, not the cost.
I mean yes? It's just videos of naked people...
Whenever someone says, "who cares, proton VPN is free," I get a bit sadder. If Proton ever drops the free tier, honestly? I'll understand. Because God knows, seeing people who can't be fucked to give a damn about open access to information using costly infrastructure to watch their shitty porn, I might've just cut it already.
Related:
Florida experiences a huge 1,150% surge in VPN use as Pornhub blocks access in response to age-verification law
https://www.tomshardware.com/software/vpn/florida-experiences-a-huge-1-150-percent-surge-in-vpn-use-as-pornhub-blocks-access-in-response-to-age-verification-law
I am really curious how long it will take them to ban VPNs.
It's impossible to ban all VPNs. And even if they somehow do it, you can get a VPS(virtual private server) from one of the cloud providers (AWS, GCP, Azure etc.) and host your own vpn service (OpenVPN, Algo, Vultr). You don't need to know a lot about it, there are step-by-step guides for it.
That's what you voted for. You want republican rule taking away your freedoms. Well now you Floridains have what you wanted and voted for. Don't be mad you made your bed and dont like the sheets.
You know damn well not all Floridians voted for this shit. This is the same kind of out-group bullshit red hat shit bags do. You’re just being intentionally divisive.
I'm sorry but here is a prime example of the Republican party doing dishonest election tactics in Florida and the public masses falling for it. If you don't have enough common sense and fall for such tactics, who is to blame then? https://www.tampabay.com/opinion/2020/12/02/the-name-is-the-same-but-theyre-different-florida-candidates-column/
Me: This is America.
Pornhub: This content is not available in your state due to ID verification legislation.
My VPN: This is Germany.
This is how we lose access to personal encryption
Guilty Canadian Admission:
In my teens I lived in Brockville Ontario near Ogdensburg New York and watched a lot of US channels. The Star Spangled Banner came on at the beginning of the broadcast day for some channels.
For many years, I thought the first line was "Jose can you see"
Bonus points if your name is Jose.
When I was a kid I thought the "for which it stands" in the national anthem was in reference to a country called "witchistan", which was presumably full of witches.
I think Jose is from Witchistan
I actually snickered. Thanks for that.