this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
703 points (99.0% liked)

Not The Onion

20569 readers
744 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 254 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Echoes of late 2022 when Twitter abruptly fired thousands of people, then turned around days later and tried to rehire many of them. I'm sure it's purely a coincidence that one person is closely tied to both incidents.

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If only we could know who it is, things would be so much different.

[–] DankOfAmerica@reddthat.com 10 points 1 year ago

It's almost as this is done in a manner to distract from the hidden intention and doing it at Twitter was a test that confirmed its effectiveness. What a weird but definitely not happening possibility. Look over there! 👉 It's a trans immigrant that wants your dogs and women's gold medals!!

[–] Tja@programming.dev 9 points 1 year ago

He fired the pandemic response team a few years before covid, because who needs that.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You could also mention the Tesla Supercharger team.

And you might also draw parallels that this seems more like spite or other personal whim, rather than motivated by the needs of the organization, or applied with any intelligence

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 149 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Christ, what a bunch of dumb motherfuckers.

[–] Tm12@lemmy.ca 81 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Malicious intent x Incompetency = whatever the fuck this is.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's an irrational number, that much I'm sure.

[–] tunetardis@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 year ago

I wish it were just an imaginary number.

[–] Darkcoffee@sh.itjust.works 81 points 1 year ago

In any other democracy there would be heads rolling and people going to jail over this. But as usual your elected representatives with their thumbs up their asses

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, time to renegotiate salary, isn't it?

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To go work for a fascistic dictatorship? No number is high enough.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sirdorius@programming.dev 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Move fast and break things. What could possibly go wrong?

[–] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 34 points 1 year ago

Maybe running a government isn't like trying to start a start up with a 90% failure rate!

[–] ThePrimitive@lemmy.world 58 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Considering they were betrayed by their country after years of patriotic service, you can probably find some of them in Beijing, and I don't blame them.

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

I would choose France.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] DozensOfDonner@mander.xyz 55 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Dude is this seriously all that's happening over there? Like this is not just a bubble with jokes, it's literally just all dumb shit bordering on satire?

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We left satire long ago. I feel sorry for satirists, parodists, and other humorists who can’t keep up with reality

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 12 points 1 year ago
[–] Tja@programming.dev 11 points 1 year ago

They are extending tax cuts for ultra-rich and corporations behind the clown show.

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's scary and sad as fuck. We are in for dark days i feel.

I've been doing my best to stay present with my family and know how to protect them first. Next I'll find ways to throw sand in the gears of this shit.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Shdwdrgn@mander.xyz 36 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Looks like the majority of the storage facilities are in Red states. Even though some are near me, I feel like saying screw it, let them stay unmonitored and lets see what blows up. A blunder of that magnitude would shake up even the most die-hard MAGAt.

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You sure? That whole maga bullshit sounds a lot like a ruzzian plot to destroy USA.

Really a lot. Exactly like that tbh.

[–] Shdwdrgn@mander.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

What, you mean just because Trump is Putin's lap dog? Or because Gabbard is now head of Intelligence?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

A blunder of that magnitude would shake up even the most die-hard MAGAt

you underestimate the power of the hatred that's been carefully cultivated and spread by the right and far-right the last sixty years.

they simply won't give a shit, even if their dick starts glowing green, as long as 'they' get it too.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They'd just blame it on "the radical left" and usher in martial law and the great purge.

Oh that'd be nice, but you just know it'll be "Damn Obama! Why did he blow up those nukes!' without a single hint of self-reflection.

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 33 points 1 year ago

i'd be ghosting those mf'ers, too.

[–] valkyre09@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Trump administration wants to un-fire nuclear” oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck “safety workers” ah ok…

[–] DankOfAmerica@reddthat.com 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I disagree with the "ah ok" part

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Ferroto@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The good ones have probably already found new higher paying jobs. The ones that come back will be the dregs. But what can you expect from a guy who bankrupted a Casino

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] blarth@thelemmy.club 22 points 1 year ago

I can’t express in words how fucking stupid Trump and his ilk are. I just cannot believe these dumb mother fuckers!

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 19 points 1 year ago

It's all funny until you realize that the people willing to go back will be a bunch of spineless loyal yes men.

[–] otto@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago

What a stupid piece of shit

[–] Rudgrcom@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Good time to ask for a raise!

[–] wirebeads@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone thought they were electing a rooster into the henhouse, but the rooster brought in a fox and no one has a shotgun.

[–] TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

no one has a shotgun

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was America

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck his stupid ass. Keep far far away from him

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This seems like the type of job you could be patriotic about. Real patriotic, not fascist clown show. You have stuff with unmatched danger to millions of people for potentially centuries. This is real shit and this job might be among the most important on earth. (Or maybe it’s just my imagination since I have no idea what the reality is)

I’m proud of my job, yet all I’m doing is helping other employees generate more bits. If I help other employees do more with less, more quickly, do these clowns count it as waste?

load more comments
view more: next ›