Best case scenario, you just lug it around everywhere. Worst case scenario, it hits someone else.
this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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Hurt people hurt people.
turtle turtle
Oh yeah they do. Have you heard:
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
I have but I can never remember what the archaic meanings of half the buffaloes are. Also I thought one of the verb buffalo was supposed to be past tense.
There is only 3 uses of the word there actually. The location, the animal, and the act of bullying or pushing others.
So it's locational buffalo are also bullying Buffalo buffaloes who happen to also bully Buffalo buffalo beneath them.
i did ๐
but lemmy needs content: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo
These kinds of phrasings unhelpfully oversimplify real issues that some people struggle with.
I donโt really think thatโs the point. It suggests that a lot of trauma in someone's life can result in difficulty having normal relationships and interactions with people. Thatโs a perfectly valid position even if simply stated. Thereโs no need to enumerate the list of causes in casual conversation.
It also helps nothing to say a cliche phrasing that's been said for a heck of a long time. It's so simple and repetitious at this point that in a way it devalues the seriousness of the issue.
There are certainly enough people who grew up with immense privilege who have no problem hurting other people. Are they traumatized? I mean, we canโt rule out the possibility.
On the other hand, have they been cushioned from the painful consequences their own actions have on others? Absolutely.
I wonder if it is more used by people that don't want to accept suffering as a base for all humans cause the only people that repeat that phrase to me are ones that don't want to make allowances for hurt people to exist in their world.
Not really sure but it feels like this suggests you always have a choice. You really dont. Depending on the shit youโve been through, things will be shit forever and you just have to deal with it. Then again, it light just try to spark discussion.
To those who have lasting damage from their parentโs mistakes: I feel you. You donโt need their love or their approval for anything.
Yep. Exactly this. That stuff is engrained in the deepest and oldest parts of your personality, it somehow is you.
If it were as easy to handle and to take off as a handcuff therapists and psychologists would be jobless.
You can also read about retraumatization. Its statistically likely for a sufficiently traumatized person to walk into situations (both by their own and otherโs specific configuration) that deepen the trauma. Then there are intense risc factors like being part of one or many minorities. At some points, life becomes an obstacle course just to keep that from happening over and over because the outcome of that vicious cycle is brutal.
To the second part: yes, that and capitalism. It would be infinitely easier for a person to just heal if there wasnt constant pressure from all sides to produce meaningless โworkโ for some oligarch or another but thats beyond the scope here i guess. If interested, visit !anticorporate@lemmy.giftedmc.com .
Yeah, I mean my morals are based on thinking about what my parents would do and then always choosing to do something else.
I was given a blueprint of what the worst people look like and do but it's what I got as my history to rely on for my future.
I don't have the time to just dump all those years and the pain just because I want to be as ignorant to its possibility as others are and relearn existence. The ability to change is possible but that doesn't work on the past. It's truth is what shaped me into the person I am today I can change how I respond to it only.
I don't see it like that. The ball is chained to the leg. What choice do you feel it suggests?
As an Indigenous Canadian .... most people in my family have a black ball so big that we put wheels on it and take it for a ride.
Also Canadian but white: Sorry man, it never should have come to this in the first place. I hope yours isn't so bad.
Other than getting a lobotomy, how am I supposed to just... Not continue to have memories of shit that happened to me in the past? ๐คจ
They found that after the 9/11 attacks suppression of memories is a valid coping path.
Works for me with some childhood trauma. Surfaced in my teens. Buried it again with no therapy because "men don't have feelings".
Its like a bad mostly healed scab. I know its there. I just don't pick at it. Nearly completely forgot about it until your comment.
And there it is again
The giant spider attack on your village
๐ท๏ธ๐ท๏ธ๐ท๏ธ๐ท๏ธ๐ท๏ธ๐ท๏ธ๐ท๏ธ๐ท๏ธ๐๏ธ๐ฅ
So I checked and you seem like a real person... Haven't had my coffee yet. No idea what your comment means.
I'm distracting you from your horrible past with a humourous and absurd fantasy scenario involving giant spiders
It's normal to remember horrible shit and very hard to not let it affect you. Finding a way to move past it and not let it define you can seem insurmountable but torturing yourself for what someone else did to you perpetuates the cycle of damage. Don't allow things to continue to hurt you, especially when they are no longer around. I hope this doesn't come across as preachy. I struggle with it too but I'm learning that the past can't be changed. Life moves on with or without you. It's in our best interest to find a way forward through the mess..
Some days you are strong enough to carry it. Others it's all you can do to just keep dragging it forward to not stop moving.
It's an aspect of you that may never have a key for, I thought I would get mine from an apology but instead it just changed the shape of the weight, and changed how I carry it.
You just can't let it be all you focus on and don't let others designate how you carry on. They can't carry it for you only help, and the help may not always be there.
To all the others with your baggage to carry, I wish you cheers, good health and tears, may you never forget what it means to be human and stop feeling.
Fuck man, I'd love to take it off, but the only key seem to be mushrooms & psychology, and the potential damage scares me more than putting up with the trauma does.
This is a pretty negative outlook, and an unhealthy one. If your childhood trauma is impacting your current life, coming to terms with what happened and growing past it is absolutely a valid option. It will take time and personal effort, and you have to want to make the change, but it is possible.
Note that coming to terms doesn't have to mean playing nice with the people who abused you, or even having any communication with them at all. It just means finding closure, forgiving yourself, and moving forward.