this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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Not really sure but it feels like this suggests you always have a choice. You really dont. Depending on the shit you‘ve been through, things will be shit forever and you just have to deal with it. Then again, it light just try to spark discussion.
To those who have lasting damage from their parent‘s mistakes: I feel you. You don’t need their love or their approval for anything.
Yep. Exactly this. That stuff is engrained in the deepest and oldest parts of your personality, it somehow is you.
If it were as easy to handle and to take off as a handcuff therapists and psychologists would be jobless.
You can also read about retraumatization. Its statistically likely for a sufficiently traumatized person to walk into situations (both by their own and other‘s specific configuration) that deepen the trauma. Then there are intense risc factors like being part of one or many minorities. At some points, life becomes an obstacle course just to keep that from happening over and over because the outcome of that vicious cycle is brutal.
To the second part: yes, that and capitalism. It would be infinitely easier for a person to just heal if there wasnt constant pressure from all sides to produce meaningless „work“ for some oligarch or another but thats beyond the scope here i guess. If interested, visit !anticorporate@lemmy.giftedmc.com .
Yeah, I mean my morals are based on thinking about what my parents would do and then always choosing to do something else.
I was given a blueprint of what the worst people look like and do but it's what I got as my history to rely on for my future.
I don't have the time to just dump all those years and the pain just because I want to be as ignorant to its possibility as others are and relearn existence. The ability to change is possible but that doesn't work on the past. It's truth is what shaped me into the person I am today I can change how I respond to it only.
I don't see it like that. The ball is chained to the leg. What choice do you feel it suggests?
Well, you have a choice in how you deal with it. You could just let it chain you down, or you could develop strategies to deal with it.
That doesn't mean it'd be easy, or that you can remove it entirely... but it's better than ignoring it and hoping it goes away.
They literally wrote you have to deal with it. They aren't talking about ignoring. They're talking about ability to let it go as if it never affected you. Some people don't have that choice. They become invasive thoughts and things that ruin random days or events by flooding us with horrible memories or triggers.