this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
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Comic Strips

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  1. πŸ˜‡ Be Nice!

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      βœ… Correct: https://xkcd.com/386/
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Banned Artists

The following artists are banned from the community.

  1. Jago
  2. Stonetoss

It should be noted that when you make reports, it is your responsibility to provide rational reasoning why something should be removed. Saying it simply breaks community rules is not always good enough.

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Note: This is not a rule, but a helpful suggestion.

When posting images, you should strive to add alt-text for screen readers to use to describe the image you're posting:

Another helpful thing to do is to provide a transcription of the text in your images, as well as brief descriptions of what's going on. (example)

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[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 98 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Pretty dangerous for a vampire to invest in a market that's only open during the day.

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemm.ee 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 11 points 1 year ago (4 children)

There's a lot I'd be willing to do for somebody that made me 10 times stronger than the average man and functionally immortal without the weakness of immediately bursting into flames under sunlight.

But I don't think I would kill people for them or bring them victims to kill.

I guess I would not be a very good ghoul.

[–] Hoohoo@fedia.io 11 points 1 year ago

There's always CEOs

[–] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But good ghouls get headpats!

That's the flavour of vampire mind control they never mention in the stories.

In 2024, we call that a C level position.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

You should watch Renfield.

[–] ours@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Witches have familiars, vampires have thrallsβ€”what do they even teach in school these days? /s

[–] ours@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Classic Bram Stoker uses "familiar" as well as "What we do in the shadows".

Vampire lore fiiiight!

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Good time to invest in a cocaine producer.

[–] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago

Like some professional investors are not breathing in more cocaine than air to trade 24h around the globe. The current gap is on weekends.

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

That's a very good estimate of what it would be worth today, assuming they average a modest 6.5% return rate.

[–] hswolf@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Starting with 10$

Period of 232 years 1792~2024

An average 8% of annual interest.

Ignoring any due taxes.

Rough income of 568 millions.

If only made 22m he did something very dumb in the process.

[–] hark@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is always the advice given by the "experts" during retirement "workshops". Have money and invest as much as you can into broad diversified funds. That the market will always grow in the long run because it has so far is taken as almost a guarantee, yet every one of these workshops will include a disclaimer of "Past performance is not indicative of future results". At some point I feel like there's going to a massive rug pull as the rich encourage everyone to put as much money as they can into the system so the rich can use it as exit liquidity. What's even better is that with retirement accounts, you're not allowed to pull out your money until decades into the future without massive penalties, and any changes in your allocations take at least a day to be made. Meanwhile the ultrawealthy have sub-millisecond algorithms at their disposal.

I'm sure when the great rug pull happens, every genius that espoused the common advice will come out and claim that obviously it wasn't sustainable (like the tech bubble or countless other bubbles) and repeat the magic words "Past performance is not indicative of future results", then they'll all suggest some other investment vehicle and that'll become the new common knowledge advice that everyone should follow until that also becomes unsustainable.

No thanks, I'll just do the company match for a guaranteed pay amount and enjoy the rest of my money while I'm young, instead of stashing it away and hoping it doesn't get fucked with in the decades before I can draw from it penalty-free and maybe having a decent chunk of money when I'm old and less capable of enjoying it.

[–] Kanda@reddthat.com 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You probably should stash some away for when unexpected things happen. Unless you want to be that guy who always tries to pay expenses with credit card debt

[–] hark@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I stash away quite a bit, but less in my 401k so that I have access to it whenever I want/need instead of decades into the future.

[–] Kanda@reddthat.com 2 points 1 year ago

Good on ya. I have a colleague that's over 50 and he's broke all the time, pretty meh life situation

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

I wish people in my country would rather invest money than buy up properties and contribute to the housing shortage crisis

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I wish I had $10 to invest at the end of the month.