this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2026
588 points (97.7% liked)

Greentext

8978 readers
449 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] LeonineAlpha@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 hours ago

This post is an example of why you wanna work Union!

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 126 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Was it a ... step by step tutorial

[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 3 points 8 hours ago

Step 6 will shock you (wiring's not done yet)

[–] masta_chief@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This joke took me for a flight

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

The fall will kill you

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

YYEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There was another man who was a carpenter…

[–] CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social 13 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

John Carpenter, love me some Thing

The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China and Prince of Darkness were some real bangers

[–] ThatGuyNamedZeus@feddit.org 50 points 1 day ago

Those episodes of South Park where all the handymen were living like kings and all the college educated douches were getting replaced with ai summed it up pretty well

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 79 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Making stairs is one of the most skillful jobs from a carpenters point of view. At least do said my grandad, who was a carpenter (he made stairs).

Making stairs that support people.

I mean, I could knock together something resembling stairs, but no-one should walk up them.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Hanging a door is the one that pisses me off. I can build fine furniture, build fine staircases, whatever you need. But hanging a door is a nightmare.

[–] Boozilla@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'm not a carpenter, just a stupid homeowner. Learning how to bend hinges to fix problem doors was life changing. Especially in an older house that has shifted over time.

It's tricky to explain. Fortunately there are videos online that show how it works.

Anyway, I know that's not the same thing as hanging a door. That's much more involved.

[–] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (2 children)

Hanging a door is super easy*!

*only pertains to new construction in places where the workers before door installation made sure the rough opening is plumb, level, and square.

Installation in a settled house is often a massive compromise on angle, tilt, placement, and sometimes squareness. When all else fails, bending one or more hinge pins to add friction to the door is the last ditch compromise just to have something kind of work.

I'd say doors are tougher than stairs, at least stairs are stationary. If the floor isn't level where the door is swinging, that bottom gap can be.. Public bathroom worthy.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 3 hours ago

The house I live in is 4 years old and half the doors don't close right.

[–] Boozilla@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I don't bend the hinge pins, I bend the hinge "knuckles". That's probably what you meant.

[–] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 20 minutes ago

bending the knuckles is one of several solutions for specific issues, bending the hinge pins is specifically done to keep the door from swinging freely (just in case the wall happens to be leaning enough that the doors own weight would move it). Bending the knuckles slightly adjusts the swing and orientation of the door.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

My grandad might be biased, fwiw

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago (4 children)

The tricky part, I am told, is ensuring every step is the same height

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

Wait, isn't that just a hallway? Don't you want each step to be a higher height than the previous one?

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 day ago (2 children)

where's the fun in that? Make the last step a little bit shorter or higher!

[–] Two9A@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Funny story: I built the staircase heading up to my loft, and spent days sourcing the perfect planks for the risers so I'd have exactly 13 steps.

Forgot to account for the loft's floorboards and beams, now I have a 13.25-step staircase.

[–] phonics@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (3 children)

They do this in some castles to trip up the invaders

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

Not invaders but assassins. The people who belong to the castle will be used to the stairs. Any outside intruders will stumble about and therefore be heard.

[–] ThisGuyThat@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

That's a subtle ingenious trap.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thats what these guys are for:

Somehow Lowe's only has these things in pressure-treated lumber. So I made my own for my stairs in my basement using regular lumber. And then my basement flooded.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's very easy to make shitty stairs

[–] xep@discuss.online 3 points 9 hours ago

You underestimate how bad I am at carpentering.

[–] DangerNooble@lemmy.world 107 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When they say they want the housing market to collapse, I don't think this is what they meant.

[–] kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

OP said this was a commercial build, nothing to do with the housing market 🫠

[–] gh0stb4tz@lemmy.world 53 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Shrimp Jesus finally makes sense now 🦐

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 23 points 1 day ago (20 children)

First thing I thought that was where it was going.

load more comments (20 replies)
[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They didn't have stairs in 0bce, silly. Just ladders and ramps. No fossils of stairs have been discovered that date back to before the Ottoman Empire.

/s

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"Google it and build it" probably took 4 weeks of work lol.
I wouldn't say its that shrimple, but ok.

[–] SippyCup@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago (3 children)

A skilled carpenter can spit out a fight of stairs in a day or so. An unskilled one can spit them out in half the time. They're not nearly as complicated as you'd think.

This is still fake as fuck, construction projects are contract labor. They'll bring in the tradies they need as they need them and then fire the ones they don't, generally getting rid of too many people too early, rather than keeping people around they don't need.

Carpenters on these projects are generally finish carpenters, they'd be installing drywall and trim, and would be quite busy trying to keep up with the schedule.

A skilled carpenter can spit out a fight of stairs in a day or so. An unskilled one can spit them out in half the time. They're not nearly as complicated as you'd think.

Just wanted to say that cracked me up, thanks haha

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Itst not totally unrealistic to have an apprentice on rough construction not doing much on site. I could totally see a boss sending them to build a construction staircase (open back, just steps) and it only taking an hour or two. It just needs to be good enough to get into the building, it will get replaced by real stairs later (with concrete).

That said, this is 100% fake. OP has never set foot on a construction site

[–] kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The part that made me think it was fake was the workbench. Who has an actual workbench at a jobsite? I’m not saying it’s never happened, but I’ve never seen it.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Workbench? You mean the warped plywood I put on the bags of concrete? Or the lumber sticking out the back of the truck, balancing on some stacked buckets?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

you have a problem with the design of my custom portable workbench?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›