They're getting very sneaky with getting that invite. Isn't a welcome mat also enough to technically work?
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2026
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I have to assume a welcome mat is not sufficient. It wouldn't hold up if someone broke and entered who wasn't a vampire, they'd be tresspassing
Let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on vampire law, and see who comes out the victor.
No, Victor's from that other story.
I've heard a story - possible urban legend - about police using a welcome mat to justify entering someone's home without a warrant
Your security is only as secure as the interpretation of a bloodsucking leech, but honestly I'd rather take my chances with the vampires
How many dogs do vampires kill annually? I rest my case.
If it's a garfield welcome mat, then either the presence of a cat or you holding a bowl of lasagne at the door implies entry
Unless it's monday
you'll meet a lot of Appalachians whose doormats are not welcome mats for exactly this reason
I want to meet a lot of Appalachians!
Mine says "OUTSIDER FUCK FUCKING OUTSIDERS SUCK"
Nearly got me with that invite
DO NOT LET THEM IN!
Alternative title to "let the right one in".
Turns out I failed this test and would be dead. I just assumed I would then get to become a vampire but seeing the comments i realize I would be dry as a bone. :)
CHOMP
Me: No, no you may not. Good day.
Vampire: That's a hurtful thing to say to a vampire.
Me: So is "I have garlic and wooden stakes," so fuck off.
As an aside I actually have wooden stakes, the kind you get at the garden center for plants.