this whole operation was your idea
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2026
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Why are you the way that you are?
Sorry for answering a rhetorical question, but self-checkout is the way it is because stupid consumers meekly agreed to do work for big corporations for no pay. They designed a bad system because they don't respect you. They don't respect you because you are a fool.
I usually just go to the real person.
So much easier to let a real person do it, plus it keeps them in a job and you don't have to do unpaid labour. Win-win.
I love self checkouts at Uniqlo, you just throw everything into it in a bag and it scans the whole bag in a second, showing you the list if you want to check it.
FOUR. THIRTY NINE.
…
If you are finished scanning, plea[beep]ELEVEN. SEVENTY NINE.
…
If you are finished scannin[beep]SIX. DOLLARS.
…
If you are fi[beep]TWO. TWENTY FIVE.
…
If you are finished scanning, pl[beep]EIGHTY NINE. CENTS.
…
If you ar[beep]ONE. NINETEEN.
I'm a larger man I need to do better, I know.
But nothing has embarrassed me more about that than being at the self check out and having it call out. "Two..DONUTS. please put your TWO DONUTS into the bagging area." Like, bro please. It's a cheat day.
It says the product name? What if you buy condoms?
Omg I would buy so many condoms just to make the machine say it.
Please place your CONDOMS in the bagging area. Please place your PERSONAL LUBRICANT in the bagging area. Please place your CUCUMBER on the scale. Please place your BANANA on the scale. Please place your BLACK DILDO in the bagging area.
for the donuts, yes. There's this thing where the self check out makes you key in items from the produce section that don't have a label. So instead of just saying the price it will call out the item. Some baked goods have the same thing.
I imagine its some kind of fraud prevention. So customers don't key in something that is cheaper by weight then what they are actually buying. The machine calls it out so the person monitoring the self-checkout knows they aren't trying to defraud the store out of a whole 35 cents or something.
Supposedly ppl used to weigh everything instead of scanning it, because that's going to end up being cheaper. Like covering up the barcodes so they won't scan.
You can buy some really weird looking bananas in self checkout. My bananas look and taste just like a watermelon.
I hate when I'm sweaty and gross coming from the gym and want a donut or two for my cheat day and I have to decide whether I'm getting judged by the cashier or judged by everyone in the self checkout area when it does that.
I'm so happy I never had to deal with a speaking self-checkout. Only the little tüt when the barcode was scanned successfully and that's it.
They used to let you mute them at the stores I frequent, but then they decided to take that feature away.
Thankfully it only verbalizes items that you key in, where there is no barcode. But I wish it didn't.
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I like self checkout, or when you can scan the items in the store with your phone or scanned. But o-my-god please no weighting stations, there so much trouble I will avoid them at all cost
“Help is on the way…”
I once had a dude working on monitoring the self checkouts get mad at me for having a bag that made the machine freak out and lock itself down when I sat it in the bagging area. Nothing crazy, just a normal canvas grocery bag. I don’t control your manager setting it so that anything heavier than the paper store bags set it off, dude!
They also use cameras overhead to track items in your hands. I was buying a few of an item, so I scanned one, and put it in the bag while holding another (unscanned), but that made it mad...
I apparently scan stuff too fast, so I get flagged multiple times while checking out. And I'm not really any faster than a cashier. That's really only at Kroger, though
I will never not read this in Mrs. Doubtfire's voice.
tap I'm using my own bag
"put bag in bagging area"
places bag in bagging area
"unknown item in bagging area, please wait for attendant"
Fml
Don't do that, say you have 0 bags and after you pay put everything in youR bag quickly.
I’ve noticed this “feature” disappearing from most self checkouts.
I will never understand self checkout issues. I can't say i have ever had an issue.
I respect that people have issues and thats fine. But i just don't know how.
Haven't you always wanted to work as a grocery cashier, but for free, and with a worse register?
It's how I get organic produce for regular prices. I wasn't trained to be a cashier. It's an onion as far as I know. A potato is a potato, I'm not a farmer.
Ever wanted to just skip the line and get out of the store faster?
Are you really gonna scan, and bag 8 bags worth of shopping in an area the size of a postage stamp with a clanker malfunctioning every 8 items, faster than a professional could do it it?
No. Self checkouts aren't for people buying 8 bags of groceries. That's kinda obvious. And don't tell me that You need someone to bag Your groceries for You.
Most self-checkouts I've seen or used aren't even for people buying more than one bag of groceries, since often the software can't handle it or the bagging space is ridiculously small so it ends up a lot slower for you to bag your stuff in the self-checkout. Sometimes they're not even the best option for when you have just one bag of groceries.
Self-checkouts are faster that going through a normal till when you have a handfull of purchases and there's a line at the normal till because the time saved from not waiting in line exceeds the time loss from an amateur (you) doing the scanning and it not being possible to bag in parallel with scanning (which is how normal tills operate in all the countries I lived in - you do the bagging whilst the person at the till does the scanning so both activities happen in parallel) and even then that's only if you're not buying alcoholic drinks and the software doesn't do something stupid and you have to wait from somebody to come over to clear it.
Only exception are the scan-as-you-pick systems and the ones where everything has an RFID tag and the checkout scans an entire bag at once, but in my experience almost not retailers have such systems and instead have the cheaper crapiest self-checkouts imaginable, probably because they don't give a shit about your time and convenience and only have self-checkouts to save money on manpower not to make the lives of their customers better (certainly that would explain why they usually after adding self-checkouts reduce the manpower on the other tills, making things slower for people buying more than a handful of groceries no matter which checkout mechanism they chose).
You're contradicting yourself. If self checkout isn't for people with 8 bags, then you're saying you do need someone to bag your groceries for you.
But you're also missing the fact that a lot of stores don't have human checkouts anymore, so if you need 8 bags of groceries, you don't have a choice
If you skip it entirely, you can get your food for free! Grocery stores hate this one simple trick.
People complaining about self checkouts, why do You use them? You can just simply stand in line for 20 minutes just like in the 90s.
20 minutes? Not even the old slow checkers have 20 minute lines these days. Although a 2020's ten minutes sure can feel like a 90's twenty.
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Today's PC load letter
Fucking Kroger, every damn time
Ever since they added the gun holstered guards to check receipts I just took my ass to publix.
Fuck kroger
The poor people need to know their place right? /s
I prefer heb or Aldi. Haven't heard of Publix.
If your checkout has a handheld scanner, try using that for the tricky items. It might disregard the weight.
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