this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2026
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FOUR. THIRTY NINE.
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If you are finished scanning, plea[beep]ELEVEN. SEVENTY NINE.
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If you are finished scannin[beep]SIX. DOLLARS.
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If you are fi[beep]TWO. TWENTY FIVE.
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If you are finished scanning, pl[beep]EIGHTY NINE. CENTS.
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If you ar[beep]ONE. NINETEEN.
I'm a larger man I need to do better, I know.
But nothing has embarrassed me more about that than being at the self check out and having it call out. "Two..DONUTS. please put your TWO DONUTS into the bagging area." Like, bro please. It's a cheat day.
It says the product name? What if you buy condoms?
Omg I would buy so many condoms just to make the machine say it.
Please place your CONDOMS in the bagging area. Please place your PERSONAL LUBRICANT in the bagging area. Please place your CUCUMBER on the scale. Please place your BANANA on the scale. Please place your BLACK DILDO in the bagging area.
for the donuts, yes. There's this thing where the self check out makes you key in items from the produce section that don't have a label. So instead of just saying the price it will call out the item. Some baked goods have the same thing.
I imagine its some kind of fraud prevention. So customers don't key in something that is cheaper by weight then what they are actually buying. The machine calls it out so the person monitoring the self-checkout knows they aren't trying to defraud the store out of a whole 35 cents or something.
Supposedly ppl used to weigh everything instead of scanning it, because that's going to end up being cheaper. Like covering up the barcodes so they won't scan.
You can buy some really weird looking bananas in self checkout. My bananas look and taste just like a watermelon.
I hate when I'm sweaty and gross coming from the gym and want a donut or two for my cheat day and I have to decide whether I'm getting judged by the cashier or judged by everyone in the self checkout area when it does that.
I'm so happy I never had to deal with a speaking self-checkout. Only the little tüt when the barcode was scanned successfully and that's it.
They used to let you mute them at the stores I frequent, but then they decided to take that feature away.
Thankfully it only verbalizes items that you key in, where there is no barcode. But I wish it didn't.
What costs 89 cents?
Herbs are sometimes that cheap, limes on sale are often 4 for a dollar. Then there's the bakery markdown that always gets us.