Sly cooper in my pooper
this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
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How the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?
I knew there was a reason 26.04 is called Rancid Racoon.
How many badgers is that? Asking for a friend.
No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold...
The untrained human ass can stretch that far without damage, but with a little practice?
No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold...
Raccoons with boxing gloves.
Ohh that's why. I had three raccoons and a lot of time on my plate..
Please don't ask me any follow up questions.
I always thought you can stretch to 12 inches, and the raccoon can squees into 6?
This reminds me of that torture method from the olden days. Hungry rat in a bowl on a person's skin/abdomen. It's going to dig into the person.
Unrelated question. Can you fit two racoons into a mason jar?
Almost as unsettling as having 37 open tabs. Like, I've been there before, and it's never turned out well 😆
You mean 438 open tabs?
My tabs counter usually just makes this face :o
Edit : went to check. Ive got exactly 37 atm. Had to do a little research to make sure OP isnt me on carbon monoxide
My tab counter addon has no issues displaying numbers like 194
Mine's constantly showing ∞.
It has just the most adorable face
"I'm in."
A four inch hole has a surface area of 12.57 square inches and one seven inches across has a surface area of 38.48 square inches and this means three of them can pass through your ass at the same time without risking damage to your sphincter.
Came here for the math.
#theyDidTheMath
They did more than math
They did the monster math!
The monster math
It was the salesman's path!
The monster math
It was a raccoon bash
Which probably cause a serious rash
Too much time determining if you could. Not enough time asking if you should.
What you're telling me is I can comfortably house a raccoon up my ass. Why wouldn't I? In this housing market? I could be charging rent!
They can go steal shit after dark and give you some spoils.
If rent is your objective, I'm afraid you'll have to find a raccoon-sized HUMAN who earns a living wage, and shove HIM up yer arse, because raccoons aren't biologically subject to capitalist slavery, therefore they'd have no money to give you.
I guarantee that you can sell that hole.
No raccoons required.
The key to doing this is to put the raccoons in serially. You just can't put them in at the same time.
That's gotta be circumference cause ain't no way that diameter is correct.
Can't be. That'd be a diameter of only 2.228 inches. That's half a raccoon. Way too small.
A bad dragon says you’re wrong!
Cherish your innocent eyes, the internet can be a nasty place.
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Oh no, none for me, thanks
Almost two racoons so far
Almost two raccoons
This is where people get into trouble. They round up. They get sloppy.
They also forget to take into account not every raccoon gets along with every other raccoon. Ever had two raccoons fighting each other whole stuck side by side in your anus?! Not a great time
Don't define what is or isn't a great time for me thank you
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