this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 85 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

But did it affect trout season, though?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Absolute hogs.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

17 people died that day, presumably of a bad trout season

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 39 points 2 weeks ago

I was dating a Japanese woman when the Tsunami happened. No one would eat anything out of the sea for ages considering...

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

affect trout season

For the better, or the worse?

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

worse. flood will absorb contaminants into the water bodies.

[–] sudoMakeUser@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago

I would imagine the floods would bring the trout out of the rivers and distribute them to locations that are suboptimal for trout fishing.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

first one, then the other

[–] TheFerrango@feddit.it 21 points 2 weeks ago

Anon is right though

[–] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago

Anon has priorities.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I, too, said astonishingly dumb shit when i was young.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

the other day i was on a chowder cruise and one of my new friends there was pointing at a building on one of the piers and asking what it was. i squinted, gave it my best "hrm." and then pointed to the right of where she did and said "well it looks like a boat"

the thing i learned about dad jokes (and similar humor) is that you don't tell them to make other people laugh, you tell them to make yourself giggle. like jimmy fallon.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

TIL there are cruises that only serve chowder. As if that foul industry couldn't get worse...

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Chowder's delightful! That said I wouldn't eat cruise chowder to stave off starvation.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago

I like it too, but that would spoil the punchline.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

they also had salad and some kind of sandwich i couldn't eat.

[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Died bcause trout was their staple and they couldn't get more?

[–] antsu@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 weeks ago

Too much water made the trouts too powerful. They killed all those people, like in a B-tier movie.

[–] wdx@feddit.org 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago

Thats honestly hilarious.

Like a joke in a Coen brothers film, ahahah!

[–] mbp@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

I'd rather be fishing, amirite?

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com -3 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Hundreds of thousands of people die every day, get over it

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What an obnoxiously shitty take. You can say then when some senile celebrity dies thousands of kilometers away from you, not to someone whose local community has suffered mass tragedy.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 weeks ago

It's a greentext, it's likely fiction

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

is mass tragedy worse than watching your father choke to death slowly on his own fluids?

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not comparable at all. Not without context anyways.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

what if my dad was the one who caused the mass tragedy?

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Then you’d better ask your local covenant whether a curse has been cast upon your bloodline, as your father’s deeds may affect your fate

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

oh, i have been undoing his curse my entire life.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

that's less of a curse and more of a stain

[–] womboflll@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 weeks ago

Ah, shitty parents are grand

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Which is what I will tell you when one of your loved ones died.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago

My nan's dying either today or tomorrow and that's just life.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

After the next crisis: "There used to be 9 billion of us..."