Just add "but I like that" at the end with a wink and you're running baby
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
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hi im kate i like cheese and the shark pillow from ikea
I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.
All I can say is it works.
this made me laugh, this is how some of my clients have introduced them self. Sometimes it can be all their hobbies and what not for 5-10 mins and then they add "oh and my title is x and this is my expectations" lol
How else are you supposed to do that if at all? /genq
Play weird social volleyball where you can't be too interested or straightforward and hide your true intentions?
Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!
But I don't need to have everyone tell me I'm bald. I know this. Tell me something nice.
You're really bald. And I really like it.
not even just toddlers, I had primary school age kids in a lift be like "wow, you guys are really short 👀" really?? never noticed, thanks for telling me 🙃
Kid is not being mean, it's just unfiltered observation
You'l die some day, and the world will be a better place! (:
Jk man, hugs and kissea (well ok, not kisses, because like, I need consent for that, and I don't know you that well).
I mean, you should probably ask for consent for hugs too. Some people aren't super comfortable with touch or being constricted.
Ironicaly, me included.
I'm autistic and this would really simplify things tbh
I would be enthusiastic and honored if you approached me like that
Right? I don't usually behave like this in professional or formal environments, but in every other situation, I try to give myself permission to be me. Fuck it. Be weird.
No, be yourself. If that gets you labeled weird by them, then it's their loss. Wasn't going to be a compatible relationship anyway.
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The inigo montoya style:
Step 1: Give a polite greeting.
Step 2: State your name.
Step 3: Establish a personal connection.
Step 4: Manage expectations of the relationship.
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
FYI,
You can do single line
breaks on Lemmy. Just
put 2 spaces at the end
of a line before the Enter.
Nice, I looked up some markup, but this one's new to me. Thanks!
Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let's fuck.
I mean, "your ass looks nice let's fuck" is basically what some ppl do. lol
No joke, I've had this happen.
You need to elaborate
Did you guys fuck?
Yeah. She pegged me then we did it against a wall.
Where do I find this in my life?
That's basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.
"I'm Chilie. I'm a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?"
I was wondering how a floodway affected software developers but I eventually figured it out.
They get very agitated when they learn their server is in a basement located in a floodway.
It's funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I'm a City Planner.
We're always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we're both interested in the other's career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.
That seems like a lot of fun! Do you live in the same city? I would complain abt all the road work
We live on opposite sides of the country.
We grew up in a very Republican area. I stayed and fight the good fight, but my sister has a child and it's better not to raise children in this environment.
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The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.
What was the interesting fact?
It's terrible but I don't remember, over time was replaced by her pretty face in my brain.
Maybe it was "Pterosaurs are sneaky in the bathroom because their pee is silent. "
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Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.
Know what? Next time I ask a woman out...
"Hi I'm [Redacted], I'm [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You're really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?"
(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it's actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)
Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don't have to guess, and you're putting forward a suggestion of what to do.
Tbh, it feels way more honest and real than most guys cheesy pickup lines. I'd probably engage with someone who approached me like that.
Hi, I'm the ex-World's dumbest man, you have a cool username, I don't actually want to date.
Want to go fight in a videogame of your choosing?
This would be amazing.
I.. would love this idea.
My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.
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