this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
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Brand New Sentence

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Showcasing the brazen and nouveau in English communication.

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[–] schmorpel@slrpnk.net 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Unholy plot twist: there's only one tank in the upper machine dispensing the same watered down sugary piss no matter what button you press.

[–] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You actually aren’t totally wrong. The new machines split the flavor syrup from the sugar syrup so they are actually all using the same base.

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

The first time I saw one I thought "what moron thought it was a good idea to use a touch screen for the sticky-water dispenser in the grease store?" Then the horror of a thousand sneezed hands and snotty noses dawned on me. After I tried the soda I realized it must have been the same idiot who decided to ruin all the flavors too.

I never drink out of that terrible syrup hole. They actually did me a favor.

[–] Murse@slrpnk.net 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Mmmm! I can see keeping that down!

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Nobody's gonna break your stride

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Freestyle machines were designed by Pininfarina of Ferrari fame, and the internals by the guy who invented Segway. Kind of a strange mash-up.

[–] mattyroses@lemmy.today 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

the same one that went over a cliff on a Segway, or . . .?

[–] Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago

That was some guy who bought the company. Dean Kamen designed the Freestyle machine in a trade, he built a machine with more flavours and Coke distributed his water filtration systems to communities in Africa.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 4 days ago

I never had the official Coke ones getting mixed flavors when getting something else, but a while back the AM/PM nearest me changed from the regular multitap fountain to some cheap knock off soda cloaca and not only does whatever you get taste like a suicide mix of everything else, it has been out of order more than half the time it's been in service since they installed it. They definitely need to go back to the thing they had before.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I'll take the cloacae, please.

ever seen anyone wash the nozzles of the first one?

I have seen the cloacae wash itself.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I have to wash those things 3 times every shift since they went back to the regular style machines. It sucks. Especially since they're plastic so they can't just be tossed into the sanitizer or they'll melt. Gotta do it by hand 😬

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

decades ago, I had a friend that worked at a gas station and I helped her close. one of the tasks was cleaning the nozzles. I did it for her because I like detailed tasks. it was fucking disgusting. like they had never been cleaned before.

when my friend saw I was scrubbing them, she told me I just needed to plop them into some water/vinegar and overnight they'll be "clean".

I never got soda from that place after that unless it was in a bottle.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I feel like maybe that's how other shifts do it, because they're gunky as hell the first time I do it on mine in the mornings. Or they just don't do it at all. Unlike every other janitorial job I've had, my McDonald's does not have the charts you sign each time you clean something and I doubt the manager is checking every little thing. The only things they ever get on MY ass about is the ceiling panels, the windows, and the owner himself is always nitpicking the parking lot no matter how clean it is.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

oh man. my sister's first job was Carl's Jr. they had these biscuits and gravy breakfast meals that were kept in this hot case.

manager told her to clean it, so she cleaned it like anyone who grew up in a house that was meticulously cleaned.

had to be like 100 dead roaches sitting on the top of it with dust and grease 1/4" thick. this thing never once got cleaned.

she asked the manager if that's normal and he bitched her out for "cleaning too much". something about they only had to clean where the food touched.

she quit a month later when he tried to assault her. dad had a few words with the guy and he too quit soon after.

[–] mattyroses@lemmy.today 1 points 4 days ago

Long ago when I worked in cafes we did it once a day, but lots of times people skipped it.

"Washing" was taking them off and dumping them in seltzer water.

[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

The one benefit to these machines is that they always offer plain seltzer, some of the older machines have a mini tab for plain seltzer but a lot of places don’t bother to put one in.

Like no, I don’t want the sugar water, please, just let me get bubbly water.

[–] mattyroses@lemmy.today 2 points 4 days ago

prefer the new ones, they have a wide variety of flavors

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Wouldnt that technically be pissed up water?

[–] Airfried@piefed.social 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Both come with fecal bacteria because people don't wash their hands.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 6 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Hand sanitizer usage should be enforced at gun point.

Seriously, only time I ever saw it even offered was when I went on a cruise and despite eating from a buffet for every meal for a week I was totally fine.

[–] mattyroses@lemmy.today 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

going on a cruise is just basically putting yourself up for a disease buffet anyways

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 1 points 4 days ago

And yet I caught nothing. Being fairly strict on cleaning your hands or using hand sanitizer probably went a fair way towards that.

[–] higgsboson@piefed.social 2 points 5 days ago

When it comes to foodborne-pathogens, hand sanitizer is less effective than soap and water because hand sanitizer does not remove organic matter. Obviously either is way better than nothing, though.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Would they prefer undiluted piss?

[–] 5765313496@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago
[–] Cattail@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

The most holy of drink dispenser is the one that limits the amount of soda you get

[–] Mwa@thelemmy.club 2 points 5 days ago

I don't have the bottom one in my country