This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
>be anon with no relationship experience
>see girl tweet I don't understand
>"damn those rascally foids"
>invent backstory for tweet that would validate my emotional response
Back in my day this post would be called fake and gay, not capped and spread like a venereal disease.
This is OP btw:
Who confiscated his neck? Or are they just a human walrus.
He ordered TRT on Temu, but they sent him FEV :(
Not a rare thing, really. It's a human issue, regardless of age or gender.
People can definitely get attracted to the idea of a person that lives in their heads. They fall for a fantasy, often nurturing it with daydream. That's what a 'crush' is.
Reality hits when you see them as a real person with nuanced emotions, deep personal history, and a rich inner world. The reality of a person clashes with the fantasy of them.
Often that's a good thing. People get relationship maturity that way. They grow their skills of empathy, patience, compassion. The fantasy fades for a beautiful tapestry. Even if your relationship ends, you can respect each other.
Sometimes it's an inconvenient truth. The reality of a person isn't what you want, and the fantasy of them withers in the face of it. You can even bitterly resent them for falling short of your daydreams, robbing you of their comfort.
As strange as it sounds, it is a blessing for it to happen so quickly. For many, it's something they awake to in middle age. Feeling encroaching mortality, they realise that they settled in a life that was convenient, with a partner that was attainable, rather than either being truly satisfying.
So they sabotage it, flee it, resent it, or all the above. We call it the 'mid-life crisis'.
This sucks and feels awful, but of the many ways this could've gone? This was actually one of the better ones.
Reality hits when you see them as a real person with nuanced emotions, deep personal history, and a rich inner world. The reality of a person clashes with the fantasy of them.
What reality are you living in? The one I live in my fantasy of them is this person, but the reality of them is have are shallow, petty, person with the inner complexity of a Disney plot, who thinks nuanced emotion makes you gay and the only personal history they want to know are how many 0s are in your bank account while they tell you their sob story about how daddy didn't love them enough and their life should be 'so much more'.
That one.
In a fantasy, your crush is perfect. In reality, they're messy, traumatised, vulnerable, reactive etc. That's nuance. That's history. We're so immersed in our own fundamental ideas from upbringing that it's easy to assume we're the default, but not a single one of us are.
Sometimes that nuance is beautiful. Sometimes you're compatible.
Usually, it's a let-down. Because nobody can be a better match for you than the fantasy in your own head, and we need to learn to stop using daydreams as a yardstick.
Growth comes from accepting people are nuanced and determining what is compatible for you, instead o chasing the daydream (or pressuring a person to change into one).
they think nuanced emotion makes you gay
..so the baggage there is that they're grown up in an environment that measured their worth as a person by their stoicism, particularly gender perscriptivism. They parrot 'emotions are gay' to conform to the standards imposed on them, even though it comes packaged with self-neglect and deep emotional trauma. They learned it young enough, imposed harshly enough, that they believe this is an immutable fact about the world.
See? Nuance.
Think of it this way: remember that sleepover playdate that lasted two days too long? You both had enough before it was over?
Yes that thing, some people like to keep their eyes open for that kinda stuff before stepping into a relationship. And it's a good practice. Other people have that "yes let's go!!!" kinda thing and that clashes sometimes.
Anyway that's what I've learned so far.
Women can self-loathe too. The mistake some men make is thinking they're all the same.
Women are not a unified organism controller by a singular hive mind? Isn't that the job of Queen Kerrigan?
Nah, Kerrigan is the Queen Bitch of the Universe. Only controls bitches.
Its called avoidant bonding type.
Yeah, some people want to be abused too, and they feel the ick if the person isn't abusive and starts avoiding them.
i had an ex who broke up with me because I wouldn't physically beat her, and like kept trying to goad me into punching and hitting her.
and no not in a bdsm way, it was in a 'my daddy beat my mom and that's what i think love is' way. she basically said I don't love her unless I 'show her what a real man I am by making her stay with me'.
that was one of the most fucked up nights of my life. took me like two years to get over that. some people are truly and seriously emotionally fucked up and think they are 'right' and everyone else is 'wrong'.
It's funny, I have had that exact experience with guys when I was young. The second I started returning the interest, they would drop me like I was a venomous snake and go flirt with someone else.
Until I met my boyfriend I just thought men didn't want women to like them back. Color me confused when the pre historic version of incel/manosphere culture began bitching about women playing hard to get back in the late 2000s/early 2010s on various forums.
Was over here like: y'all are the ones who run for the hills whenever a girl shows you she likes you, though. 🤷♀️
This is why you date, wheat from chaff and all that. The day you find someone perfect is the day you can stop looking
or you just stop looking because you are sick of all the miserable bullshit and you just want to enjoy your life without other people's miserable bullshit weirdo nonsense in it.
and you're shocked that... you feel really good most days instead of feeling like shit most days... almost as of how other people treat you has a huge impact on your mental health and cutting out people who treat you poorly makes you feel a lot better about life.
I mean yea that's also an option. Being happy alone should always come before being happy with someone else, if at all.
This sounds pretty typical to me.
They like each others looks, and start talking a bit. She realizes just how many red flags anon is raising, and starts to backpedal.
Fuck women impossible to understand amirite.
Edit: nothing is black and white, especially when it come to people. I was just pointing out one of the likely scenario that hadn't been pointed out when I posted.
Thats not a problem with "liking someone back." I think the post would have read along the lines of " i hate when someone isn't who they seem to be" in your scenario.
I don't really think it's that simple.
I think it's about that weird thing people (not women) do that makes them attracted to strangers but not friends. I find it mentioned everywhere, both online and offline.
I think that's what anon is experiencing too.
I really don't understand why people just lose all attraction as soon as mysteriousness is no longer a factor. And I've seen it happen with my own damn eyes, to me AND others.
I don't get it.
It's as if as soon as I become readily available to anyone, I suddenly become much more worthless and disposable too... Suddenly every other aspect of theif life takes priority and I'm number last. I guess because other things are only available conditionally whereas I'm pretty much always available? Idk.
Also if I'm not interested in someone, that someone always wants to interact. It's as if life constantly works to spite me.
Edit: I'm so glad I didn't get downvoted to oblivion...I feel so validated. Thanks y'all...
She found out he can't spell tries
Is this why I always got ghosted? I was beginning to think they were just cruelly toying with me...
The chase or being chased is sometimes what people like more than the end result.
Yeah, people act like that's such a cringe thing to say. But it's a simple observation. It would be wrong to generalize it. It certainly doesn't describe everybody. But it definitely seems to be mainstream among the normies, at least.
I don't see why people blame the ones who point that out. It's kinda like shooting the messenger, honestly. Sure, the behavior is cringe. So why is it considered more cringe to critique it? It's like we're supposed to just pretend there isn't a pattern, pretend we don't see it, and scorn anyone who does?
There are a lot of counterproductive social taboos these days. They're different from the taboos of a half century ago, but they're still pretty nonsensical. Some things we just aren't supposed to point out and critique, and whoever acknowledges them first gets the blame that should be on the patterns they're pointing out.
How are we supposed to have any constructive social discourse when people are so afraid to speak up? And admiration goes to the ones who shun and condemn and demean those who even mention the destructive patterns.
It's like a new kind of self-righteousness has emerged, this time separate from religion...
Welcome to my ex-gf. Also some people know how to say what you want to hear while avoiding the actions to make it real. This can be very destructive to someone's peace.
I mean, I would like first to make a point of order - "ghosting" is when someone who you already have an established relationship with stops responding to all messages. It doesn't mean "someone you were interested in but had no significant relationship with simply lost interest". For example, if you match with someone on a dating app, and then you exchange a few messages but they stop responding, they are not "ghosting" you - they have simply lost interest.
Anyway, if you have people on dating apps consistently losing interest with you, then it usually means that your problem is.... nothing. The vast majority of OLD interactions go no where. This is fine. Most people arent a good match for each other. They might have found someone who is a better match for them, or they may have simply become exhausted with dealing with OLD.
Its like if you thought someone at a party was cute, and you went and had a convo with them, and then they went to get a drink and got drawn into another convo, and then you never saw them again. They didn't "ghost" you. They aren't being mean to you. They are just living their life, and you are not a major player in it, and that's fine.
However, if you don't like how conversations just peter off sometimes, you can significantly reduce this by seeking explicit rejections instead. Be clear about what you are looking for, and then pitch meeting up in person.
To be miserable.
And they are very very good at making themselves miserable, and going on a rant about how they this is your fault and all men are awful.
Your job in life is to avoid folks who choose to be miserable. good luck