"Black Friday Sale! This Thursday only!".
this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2026
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"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
I'd agree, but that's 2 sentences.
Dammit
Okay imagine there's a semicolon there instead
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move.";
Still doesn't work.
Spoken, not written:-
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly
The cost of living is dying, and everyone pays.
love that with such a broad sample pool, what we get here are some quips, in English, from the last few decades
It's over 9000!
Was shocked to discover very recently that it’s meant to be “It’s over 8000!”, and 9000 was a mistranslation
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
"The man in black fled into the desert, and the gunslinger followed"
- opening line for the Dark Tower novels by Stephen King, which is an absolutely phenomenal series that blends western and sci-fi elements with just a tad of fantasy and horror for flavor.
"A Florida woman has been accused of entering the penguin enclosure to teach them to tap dance, using a live alligator as her partner."
I can't fix her. She's already perfect.
Does she have a sister?
I know. I do wish I was her.
Don't let your dreams stay dreams. I'm not saying it will be easy. Get an alligator and a pineapple costume. Sign up for tap lessons and bring them along. Volunteer as a docent at your local zoo. Success isn't guaranteed, but I bet you'll be surprised with how far you get.
Thank you for your faith,…the alligator is likely to be my biggest challenge. Maybe a baby croc…or a Winnie dog in an alligator outfit…..it’s the same thing really. I don’t suppose I even have to learn tap to teach it. So there’s a few hurdles down.
At this juncture, I would point out that !floridaman@lemmy.world also accepts "Florida Woman" submissions.
EDIT: Unfortunately, it appears to be fake.
I mean, fake or not, it's just such a great sentence.
I believe we have a winner lmfao
I need this pineapple costume.
Buffalo buffalo WHICH Buffalo buffalo, buffalo buffalo Buffalo
It annoys me that the quoted sentence misses out essential words.
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
People don’t think it be like it is, but it do
No.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Every time I unzip my pants to go pee the fruit flies laugh at me. It's not my fault they never saw a banana this small before.
AI derangement syndrome xD
Being a person, even though you're just a blob of goo, is the most profound thing you could ever do.
Cellar door.
you know. you should never open it.
Be good...or be good at it.
If you're gonna be stupid, be smart about it.
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hand me that piano.
αἴκα