This feel oddly real and heterosexual, I don't like it
Greentext
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
I have someone related to me that took in a stray Maine Coon cat that was actually a Bob cat and they didn't find out until the first vet visit. I think it had to go to some zoo or like Sanctuary place because they had it for quite a while and were feeding it like regular wet cat food.
Wolf: "W...What the.... brain overloads from getting pet like a good boy"
Wolf: I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me
I wonder if those humans have any more of those delicious pastries
Ha ha, "looks like he's going to call HR for inappropriate contact"
For the record, there has never been a documented attack of a healthy wolf on a person in North America. Obviously if they get rabies or distemper or something all bets are off.
You are wrong. Candice Berner, Kenton Carnegie and Marc Leblond were all deemed to have been killed by healthy wolves.
There have been at least 24 non-fatal wolf attacks by healthy wolves since 2000 in north America alone: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wolf_attacks_in_North_America
There's also never been a documented case of a wolf contacting HR
There would be NDAs involved, so take that data with a grain of salt.
That's because HR will anonymise the contact data before publishing
depends on how many furries are in your company
Another element that could be at play here:
He thought it was a dog.
Dogs, because we domesticated them, have muscles around their eyes, that allow them to make eye/eyebrow expressions.
Wolves do not have these. Because they're the ones we did not domesticate for millenia.
So, if he was expecting dog expressions... wolves literally cannot make the same facial expressions.
They essentially always look like they have RBF, in comparison to a dog.
It's thought the species we domesticated was distinct from wolves of today. That species went extinct in the wild.
Interestingly some dog breeds also still lack those muscles, like huskies
Huh! You're right, I did not know that.
Huskies are... much closer to being actual wolves though, genetically speaking.
Seems like this applies to malamutes and samoyeds as well...?
I wonder do dingoes have them. I haven't been able to find any information on that yet
My, ahem, blind guess would be probably not, as they've... not been widely and thoroughly domesticated for 20,000+ years?
Oh the genetic confirmation for dingoes to have arrived in Australia is about 8000 years ago these days. So it's about when did the extra muscles evolve and in which genetic lines? Dingoes and the new guinea singing dog are traced to have come from the wolves domesticated in Asia, so I guess they wouldn't have them unless they evolved independently or the genes spread before they got separated in Guinea and Australia? But then do japanese breeds also not have them since they're from the same lines probably? I don't know, there's just too little information online. Or if there's more, I can't find it
No idea what the more precise timeline is, for when and where dogs started having eyebrow muscles.
Maybe if we did something comparable to the Human Genome Project, but for dogs, we could figure it out, lol?
There have been documented healthy wolf attacks in North America. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wolf_attacks_in_North_America
Some on the list are rabid, but the list also includes both captive and predative wolf attacks, including fatalities.
An oldie but goldie.

Meanwhile cats just showed up, said that they live here now. 10,000 years later, cats run the internet and more or less still the same genetically for the past 10,000 years.

People get a dog to feel like a god. People get a cat so they have a god sitting on their chest meowing at them for food at 6 am.
more or less still the same genetically for the past 10,000 years
They kill rats.
Keep the granaries uninfested.
And roughly half of them also carry a parasite that rewires the brain/neurological DNA of humans via epigenetic manipulation.
Also they can be adorable.
The wolf his pack now calls Poptart
"It was one time!"
Wolves can get rabies, that can be a factor for being more willing to socialize with people.