350 million would be closer.
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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A whole ass-fish
As a clarification, the real time line is like 400 million years ago or so
Put a pin in that and we'll circle back to it.
Hang on, I’ll run it up the flag pole
I'll run you up my flagpole 😏
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yeah, some asshole fish climbed out of the ocean 35 million years ago and now we have time as a concept.
Some of the fish were smart enough to get back into the water. We weren't. It's on us.
Whales and dolphins at least managed to save themselves.
35 million years ago the dinosaurs had been gone for 30 million years. The Eifelian period where vertebrates were first on land was about 319 million years ago. If you use days instead of years that's a difference of days that's like saying I pissed in my bed a month ago, when in fact it was almost and entire year ago. You see, I've had issues with my bladder recently. I believe it was an infection, but the doctor says it was just some irritation. He put me on some medicine and it does help, but I think it will clear up on its own either way.
What does that have to do with the nineteen ninety-eight Hell in a Cell match?
Don't let this distract you from the fact
You didn't have to add the second patr
And I don't have to drink my own pee, but it's sterile and I like the taste.
Oh no, I’m glad they did. You see, I've had issues with my bladder recently too. I believed it was an infection, but if his doctor says it was just some irritation, maybe so it is for me too. I just wish I knew what medicine he got prescribed. I guess I’ll have to hope it clears up on its own.
Gemtesa
We did it Lemmy
It's important, it puts the first patr in context.
Thanks to *her
In a parallel universe: staff meetings, but underwater.
Don't blame the land fish. If it had stayed underwater we'd just be having meetings there.
That's why they call a group of fish a school.
Nah, the fish crawled out of the ocean just to escape some bullshit meeting with the other fish.
Understandable really
It was the same with the trees. There’s no escaping.
It's why we put so much money into space travel. You can do pretty much everything you need to do with robots, but that's not the point. The point is to get out of bullshit meetings.
"Houston is on comms and wants to discuss the status of the mission". Fuck it, let's fly this thing into the nearest black hole.
Meanwhile, whales.
Well.. that timeline does match up better with Jesus riding a velociraptor
Some Gen Z is furious about this.
Covid proved this often superfluous content can either be in an email or consumed from home on Teams, with a peppy chat sidebar.
There’s a new manager who keeps trying to make them in person. She was angry only 4 people out of 40 showed up to the last one.
Lady, I’m not here to validate your power point creation. That, and I can watch your little slide show at home, in yoga pants, with hot tea, while watching deer out my window.
As the British so aptly put it: sod off.
Admittedly, we are now significantly less likely to be dismembered by much larger fish.
Or 8 foot sea scorpions.
Or, in the case of whales, drown and sink to the bottom of the ocean.
Can we just go back in time and evolve into a crab instead
*forward in time
Just be patient. It's inevitable.
It was likely a her
Yeah yeah. If only some asshole mud puddle hadn't decided to come alive we'd all have been spared so much trouble. 🙄
35 million?
Wrong, it was a prawn