So, "dudette" has fallen into the waste bin of history, eh?
this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2026
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Cyanide & Happiness
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Cyanide & Happiness (C&H) is a webcomic created by Rob DenBleyker, Kris Wilson, Dave McElfatrick and Matt Melvin. The comic has been running since 2005 and is published on the website explosm.net along with animated shorts in the same style. Matt Melvin left C&H in 2014, and several other people have contributed to the comic and to the animated shorts
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About this community and how I post the comics⦠Many moons ago, I would ask my Dad to save the newspaper for me everyday so I could read my favorite comic strips. Of course these days you can read your favorite comics online instead of a newspaper, but I love the nostalgia of reading the daily comics. Anyway, one of my favorite current comics is Cyanide and Happiness and I will be posting the daily release from their website (https://explosm.net/) and a an extra or two randoms.
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As someone who has spent half their life in California, this is accurate.
"I have had sex with X number of dudes" - doesn't sound all that gender neutral.
Same with 'guy': "how many guys have you kissed" isn't asking the same question as "how many people have you kissed."
"How many dudes do you live with?" isn't gender neutral, if you think it's just an intimacy thing. How many dudes were at the party? It isn't intimacy, intimacy is just an interesting way of making homophobic men confront the "dude isn't gender neutral" argument though.
So, what's actually happening in that 2nd panel? By all means, use dude how you like, just be honest about it.
I have, a couple of times, made men live their "dude is gender neutral" truth. Turns out telling people they are married to a dude, went to a party and kissed that dude one time, asking about their 2 dudes they have for parents, isn't such a great time for them. Just be honest about it.
There's also just the basic fucking courtesy of not using certain terms to describe someone if they ask you not to. If you address people of all genders as "dude" and a trans woman asks you not to refer to her that way, the correct response is "okay I'll do my best not to refer to you with that term," not "actually I use dude when referring to women sometimes so maybe you should just stop having a problem with it."
It's embarrassingly simple to come up with post hoc arguments for why refering to women as dude is fine actually.
Much harder to introspect and determine where that behaviour stems from, then acknowledge the place it stems from is toxic, and start changing. Harder still to unlearn a habit I put 30+ years into learning.
"I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes. Hey!" - "We're all dudes" from Good Burger.
When Dude is directed AT someone ("Hey, Dude!"), it's definitely gender neutral. And when using it at the beginning of the sentence, it's just an exclamation like Damn, Shit, or God ("Dude, that was crazy").
But words change meaning slowly and its use in the way you describe is indeed still gendered. Guy is the same way albeit much further behind.
I stand by that dude is gender neutral if for no other reason than to reclaim it as such. It's a great word that's fun to say. So from one male dude to every non-male dude, get in on these fun linguistics! Dude is gender neutral if you say it is.
Would you call a trans woman 'dude'? It's gender neutral after all.
I know it isn't gender neutral, I've shown you why. You know it isn't gender neutral, unless you just told everyone you're happy to call trans women 'dude'. Just be honest about it, what are you really doing when you call trans women 'dude'?
I'm not sure it's the men that get to reclaim gendered words, for the same reason I don't think straight people could reclaim queer words, or white people could reclaim race related words. Can you see why?
Women I know? Yeah lol. I have and I will continue to with the ones I know. We all say dude. Trans or not. With strangers? Probably not unless I'm passing a blunt.
What am I doing when I call a trans woman 'dude'? Usually including her in my inner circle because they know I'm not a chud.
I'm not reclaiming it. I'm encouraging non-males to use it because it's fun. Definitions change with use. Tons of words used to be gendered and aren't now. A famous example is "scientist"
So from one male dude to every non-male dude, get in on these fun linguistics! Dude is gender neutral if you say it is.
I get what you're trying to say, but you gotta realize that for people who do not want to be called "dude" because it does have certain gendered connotations, this doesn't come across well.
You're basically saying "I've already decided this term is gender neutral, and the only path forward is for you to get on board and accept my conclusion. I don't see any reason to adjust my language and if you don't want to be called dude that's your problem."
You can just not refer to people with terms they don't want to be referred as, it's pretty simple. You're free to talk to people however you want, but ignoring or arguing with people's requests for how to address them will only ever serve to alienate and isolate you from them.
I felt I was pretty careful in my wording but I guess not.
I don't go around referring to everyone as dude, I said I promote the idea that dude is gender neutral to everyone because it's a fun word.
"I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes"
Dude is fairly gendered. "mate" on the other hand...
What's mine say..?
Sweet!
DooooooDUH.