this post was submitted on 26 May 2026
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[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 11 points 16 hours ago

Trump reduced the time you have to wait between annual exams by 600%.

[–] sturmblast@lemmy.world 7 points 19 hours ago

Lies and more lies

[–] Prior_Industry@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

If they find something iffy what's actually going to happen though ? I assume it must be something like his heart etc that he would have an interest on maintaining. if it's his brain that's going, I doubt he would want to admit that and go back for further checks.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

I’d bet they actually aren’t telling him everything that’s wrong. My MIL has vascular dementia and I’m fairly certain they don’t completely explain everything that’s amiss. My FIL knows but I don’t think she does.

I’d imagine it’s similar with Trump’s staff, handlers, family members, whoever is in control of such things.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 0 points 14 hours ago

do you want a real answer or a joke answer?because this is the real answer

[–] Maladius@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"I'm so good at annual exams that they actually want me to do them more than once a year. They say I'm the best annual exam taker and they always learn something interesting when they do the tests with the things" - Trump probably

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

I hate how plausible this sounds.

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Trump undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to cheat death for another 7 months.

First his chiropractors perform a slight spinal adjustment. Then a team of doctors administer eyedrops, painkillers and a vocal chord scraping. The whole ordeal leaves Trump twisted and disoriented.

[–] Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] meathorse@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's an alien, kill it, kill it!

Stop, it's not an alien, it's DT

Aww, it's DT... KILL IT!! KILL IT!!

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

I bring you ~~love~~ hate

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

why defak is chiropractic being included in a phrase about medical treatments?

[–] MrEff@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is a simpsons reference.

They thought there was an alien in the forest. Turns out it was Mr. Burns who did his medical treatments (quoted above) and he would be high as a kite wondering through the forest at night and the glow is from working at the nuclear plant for so long.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

So Mr. Burns is the mothman… makes sense.

[–] kmartburrito@lemmy.world 101 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 2 points 16 hours ago

Won't anyone save us from this meddling priest!?

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 59 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The best time for a major cardiovascular event was 30 years ago. The second best time is today. 👍

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago

An aneurysm would also be good.

[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social 91 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (9 children)

A stroke. Leave him in a semi-vegetative state but keep his mind as aware as possible. I want him to live a long life after that, in the worst possible misery: that of being a prisoner of your own body. I want him aware when the world celebrates that he's become a bedridden monster that nobody wants near and everyone fights to keep away because he's not relevant anymore.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

What about ALS? Hard to believe that I'd wish that nightmare of a disease on someone, yet here we are...

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

having seen it firsthand, no.

[–] 51dusty@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (5 children)

"Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish—every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries 'Dear God, what is that thing?' will reverberate forever with your perfect ears."

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[–] PhoenixDog@piefed.ca 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

God that would turn me on so much. Him in a vegetative state where he was still watch TV and see just how much the world celebrates his decline. Watching as people crowd the streets cheering, dancing, chanting and shouting in celebration and he just gets to lay there and watch. Even Fox News is broadcasting it, calling it a disgusting act by the left but he still has to lay there and watch it unfold.

[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 1 points 20 hours ago

Turn you on? You might need the bed next to him in the hospital.

[–] ragepaw@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I wish locked-in syndrome for him

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 1 points 16 hours ago

You guys mistake, he isn't tortured by his thoughts or his memories. He loves himself. I bet he'd love to be locked within himself.

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[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

All he can do is lay there and watch tv. The kind nurse turns on MS.NOW so he can watch it all day. Every day.

[–] radiofreebc@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Reruns of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert would be epic.

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[–] shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 day ago
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago

Only three weeks after his “unscheduled ‘dentist’ visit”.

In January, Trump told the Wall Street Journal that he'd tried using compression socks to help treat the issue [his cankles] but stopped because he "didn't like them."

Trump has made some unusual medical choices in the past. Most notable is his use of aspirin. Trump takes 325 milligrams of aspirin every day, according to the Daily Beast. That's four times the doctor-recommended dosage.

When asked why, Trump said it was because aspirin was “good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart."

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 42 points 1 day ago (9 children)

I weigh 220 and I'm 5'9" and I'm not nearly as massive as that fucker.

Hes got to be 320 at best.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 39 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yeah...... Him claiming to be 6'3 and 215lb is hilariously insecure. That would make him roughly 30 pounds heavier and an inch taller than Justin Trudeau.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 2 points 20 hours ago

That's hilarious

[–] orclev@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I'm 6'1" and 250 lbs and in way better shape than him. It is physically impossible for someone with a body like him to weigh 215 and be 6'3", he's either lying about his height, his weight, or both (it's definitely both). I'd guess he's probably like 5'8" and 300 lbs.

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[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

"Testosterone levels this high are usually only seen amongst rapists," Dr Oz continued.

[–] leadore@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Shall we place bets on when he will no longer be in office, for any cause - illness, death, expulsion, whatever.

My prediction is gone at least by the end of March 2027, maybe Feb. I think in the case of expulsion (or forced 'resignation') --which requires the repubs to choose since dems don't have enough power, that would be the date they would wait for. After the midterms and swearing in of the new congress. It can't be earlier than that if they (Thiel, etc) want Vance to qualify for 2 more full terms after this partial one.

If forced out by health reasons it's a lot harder to predict. Usually with these types the sheer evil force is enough to keep the heart pumping longer than the average mortal, even if the brain withers away. But like everyone else here, I check the headlines with fingers crossed each morning.

[–] dhork@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

If Democrats win control of the House, then it will happen earlier, because once the VP becomes President, the VP position becomes vacant, and can only be filled if both houses of Congress approve. And Democrats would likely use the "McConnell doctrine" to sit on any appointment made by President Vance and not act on it.

That would effectively give Democrats an extra half vote in the Senate, because there would be no VP to break ties. And the next Democratic House Speaker would be next in line if, somehow, President Vance also leaves office.

So, once the returns are in (with good news for Democrats), if the plan was to shove Trump to the side it will happen before the new House takes over, while Republicans can still pick a new VP.

[–] leadore@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Ooh, interesting angle. Though I'm not confident Dems would muster up enough spine to do that (or that some wouldn't break away and vote with repubs), but yeah, repubs probably wouldn't want to take that chance.

[–] dhork@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

No, they definitely would sit on the appointment if it's someone dumb.

They might take what they think is the "middle ground" and let a "compromise candidate" through. But I hope they remember that Merrick Garland was the "compromise candidate", and Mitch and Lindsey still shit all over that pick.

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