A Boring Dystopia

There are so many things you can do with a partner that don’t cost money and will make permanent memories.

Wait, you guys are getting dates?

Holy shit. And here I thought that the price of a cup of coffee was less than $10.

Because that’s what you do on a first date - coffee and chat, either at the coffee house or on a walk near it.

Spending $$$ on a first date is a great way for any guy to get hosed, and just sets up unrealistic expectations. You don’t do anything expensive until several dates in, once compatibility and mutual interest have been confirmed.

Who is spending $200 on a first date‽

Relatively new to dating via apps as an elder millennial freed from a life time of monogamy. (Only been at it 6 months)

Who are these people who want to go on a first date that involves being in a situation like a restaurant?

Seems like with apps people skip the whole courting thing and jump straight in to something that should only be for once you get to know each other a bit better.

For me, first meeting is a coffee or a drink at a well populated cafe or bar. Maybe a walk after somewhere busy in the city.

Maybe I'm just old and out of touch.

This article draws all the wrong conclusions from the design of the survey itself. That's the average date expense, for all single people, to include:

• Rich people who don't mind paying more for dinners out.
• People who have been dating a long time, on their later dates with someone they're already steadily dating and/or fucking.
• Other expenses of a date, to include hair and makeup and other styling.

Digging into one of the surveys discussed in the article shows that the cost of a first date has climbed to $93.

$93 is more in line with what I'd expect. And yes, that price tag can price a lot of people out of bringing someone they don't know well yet on a formal sit down date.

I went to look up the menu at the place where my wife and I had our first date, in an expensive city. If we ordered what we ordered that night, except with today's prices, I think we would've spent about $30 on food, $50 on wine, and 30% on tax and tip for a total of about $105. We also split the tab. And that's with someone who I had already met in person in a few places (friends of friends), had already established rapport over the phone, and already knew that we both loved the restaurant we were meeting at.

Obviously we need more cheap/free third places in the mix. And our society would benefit from better income/wealth equality. But while we live in this current situation, people should be generally be ramping up in closeness before spending real money on dates in places they wouldn't have otherwise gone to. I couldn't imagine spending real money before getting to know someone at least enough to know whether I like them and enjoy being around them.

what? with my current girlfriend we had an ice cream and a walk. these americans are crazy.

Hear Me Out: This capitalist/traditional attitude towards dating radicalized men into the manosphere. For the last three years this anti-"modern women"/anti-feminism movement has been rising across the internet; and about 75% of their resentment is just about distaste toward dating apps and paying to take a girl out for dinner.

For years I was laughing at ( and then after they helped Trump's re-election, ripping my hair out over ) their complete refusal/inability to see any other alternatives to connect with people besides the most shallow idea of a date. Perhaps these folks just completely unimaginative, or have no personality to offer, and nothing to provide besides the traditional chivalry of this generic "provider" fallback that is unfeasible for most in this economy.

I wish I could just sit down with one of these men, and just ask them "Why not find women elsewhere?". Delete the dating apps and go find a hobby, join a volunteer organization. If you're such a "traditional conservative masculine man", go to a Catholic church or alt-right fascist rally. It's a whole lot cheaper than flying abroad to sugar-daddy at a favorable exchange rate. (Passport bros)

Though... the article does say: "More than half of Gen Z adults reported spending $0 a month on dating in a 2025 Bank of America Better Money Habits survey." and mentions folks rejecting dating apps because they prefer real interactions...so maybe folks are waking up.

Why is anyone spending that much on a date? FFS, you can find plenty of great, cheap eats in NYC. You just gotta look. Husband and I routinely go into Boston to dine and have never broken 65 bucks for food.

"wHy ArEn'T tHe YoUnGeR gEnErAtIoNs GeTtInG mArRiEd AnD hAvInG cHiLdReN??"

That's like 30 minutes with a mid-tier escort.

Last year I went on many dates and the average expense was like $25. Yes, I did sometimes go out to restaurants, but they'd be either coffee shops with food or fast casual places. And yes I pay for her meal too. How are people spending $200 on a night out?

Wait it's the average vs the median probably. A couple extreme outliers are inflating the average.

depends on the date, some are super materialistic, expects one person to pay for everything.

Then stop going out for dates. Who convinced you that capitalism has to be a third wheel on your dates? Y'all too dependent on market capitalism to provide for you.

You shouldn't spend any money on her until you've had sex, so she doesn't feel pressure to put out after an expensive dinner. Ideally, she should put out before the date even begins, just to make her feel more secure.

Picnics are free. Especially if you Yogi Bear yourself the food.

That's a ridiculous amount of money to spend.

Most of my first dates were like

• walk to bar ($0) or subway ($3)
• a drink for both ($10 - $30)
• transit back ($0 or $3)

Even two drinks wouldn't probably break the $100 barrier.

There are cheaper options, too. Coffee. Park walk and snacks. Free museums.

I didn't have much trouble meeting people on the same page.

Edit: a full ass dinner date is a terrible idea for early dating. Don't go on early dates you can't quickly bail on.

Wife and i would eat out about once a week sometime 2-3 times for the past 20 years, now it's once ever 2-3 months at best.

The last time I spent that much on a night out was my first anniversary, and we got way too drunk at the bar we got married at (not cheap but not expensive) and ordered two pizzas because we were hammered and their pizzas are amazing.

Thank fuck I married a cheapass

I have no idea how niche I am, but I wouldn't want to date anyone who is ok spending $200 on a date. Lets walk in the park and talk for hours. That's my kinda date.