"wHy ArEn'T tHe YoUnGeR gEnErAtIoNs GeTtInG mArRiEd AnD hAvInG cHiLdReN??"
this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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A Boring Dystopia
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marriage and children is more expensive than dating, by far. full time childcare costs are 2-5K per kid, for about 4-5 years before they can get into kindergarten. if one partner makes less than 50-75K, it makes no sense for them to work.
This article draws all the wrong conclusions from the design of the survey itself. That's the average date expense, for all single people, to include:
- Rich people who don't mind paying more for dinners out.
- People who have been dating a long time, on their later dates with someone they're already steadily dating and/or fucking.
- Other expenses of a date, to include hair and makeup and other styling.
Digging into one of the surveys discussed in the article shows that the cost of a first date has climbed to $93.
$93 is more in line with what I'd expect. And yes, that price tag can price a lot of people out of bringing someone they don't know well yet on a formal sit down date.
I went to look up the menu at the place where my wife and I had our first date, in an expensive city. If we ordered what we ordered that night, except with today's prices, I think we would've spent about $30 on food, $50 on wine, and 30% on tax and tip for a total of about $105. We also split the tab. And that's with someone who I had already met in person in a few places (friends of friends), had already established rapport over the phone, and already knew that we both loved the restaurant we were meeting at.
Obviously we need more cheap/free third places in the mix. And our society would benefit from better income/wealth equality. But while we live in this current situation, people should be generally be ramping up in closeness before spending real money on dates in places they wouldn't have otherwise gone to. I couldn't imagine spending real money before getting to know someone at least enough to know whether I like them and enjoy being around them.
The world isn't like that though.
The reality of the world is most people want to meet at a bar or do an activity, and that costs money. And men are expected to pay for the dating. Splitting the tab is now very rare. People are a lot more traditionally sexist than they were 10-20 years ago.
I date. Most women want to be wined and dined, or they want to do a trendy activity date. Even if I take a woman out to a museum and a glass of wine, it's going to run me $100. Museum tickets are 30-40 dollars pp, and the wine is going to be 15-20 a glass.
Women I met used to offer to split, but that basically stopped happening post pandemic. Now they never offer to split. I've also noticed surge in women demanding traditional gender role dating both in person and on dating apps. Nobody is a feminist anymore like they were 10 years ago. They all want 'masculine men' and they want to be 'feminine women'. A lot more women I meet now are now asking me if I am 'actually straight/gay' now too. No woman was asking me if I was gay 10 years ago. Gender expectations have changed and regressed.
Article is talking about the dating world, as it is, as of 2026. Not how it used to be, not how it ought to be.
That's a ridiculous amount of money to spend.
Most of my first dates were like
- walk to bar ($0) or subway ($3)
- a drink for both ($10 - $30)
- transit back ($0 or $3)
Even two drinks wouldn't probably break the $100 barrier.
There are cheaper options, too. Coffee. Park walk and snacks. Free museums.
I didn't have much trouble meeting people on the same page.
Edit: a full ass dinner date is a terrible idea for early dating. Don't go on early dates you can't quickly bail on.
Most of my first dates were like
walk to bar ($0) or subway ($3) a drink for both ($10 - $30) transit back ($0 or $3)
Pack of condoms, $8.
where do you live there are 5 dollar drinks and 10 dollar cocktails?
I live in a major city. two beers is $20 before tax and tip, two cocktails is closer $30. bar tenders in my city expect 25-30% tip, and tax is about 8-9%, and many places start a 5% service fee now. So you're adding 40% extra costs, so that $20 for two beers is now $30, easy. Two cocktails, is $50.
When I go out, by myself, and get a hamburger and fries and two beers, at a dive/cheap place, it's $60. Even a fast food joint, with no alcohol, it's $20-30 for a hamburger, fries, and a soda. If I go to the nice gastropub style place, it's going to be closer to $75-80.
Even a burrito is $15 now.
Asian bubble tea.
Brooklyn, where there's a couple local bars I like. My favorite bar has $5 cans, but the more recognizable drinks are in the $10-$15 range. Two drinks is about $30, then.
What part? Certainly not park slope.
I don't want to dox myself but my two go-to bars with cheap drinks are within walking distance of prospect Park. The second favorite's cheap beer is like $7
this is just agit prop to get me to feel like i should spend more money when i finally get a date. shame.
Where tf are you all going on dates? I get pretty drunk and have food at the bar for 42$ every couple weeks. If I was on a date and paying for both of us (personally more into splitting it) it would be like 70$ tops. That's not even close to the cheapest thing you could do. If someone's demanding you spend that much on them from the jump they're probably not worth dating anyway .
Where do you live? Also, most don't take a date to get bar food on a first date.
Midwest. I've done many bar dates but I usually go for coffee for a first date that way it's easy to bounce if we don't click. The bars I go to have karaoke or live music on the weekends and the crowd is chill so it's a good time. If that doesn't sound like a good time to whoever I'm dating, we're not going to click anyway and I'd rather be single than stress out jumping through hoops and spending tons of money trying to impress some girl. I did enough of that in my 20s. It's not worth it.
The last time I spent that much on a night out was my first anniversary, and we got way too drunk at the bar we got married at (not cheap but not expensive) and ordered two pizzas because we were hammered and their pizzas are amazing.
Thank fuck I married a cheapass
Just got for a walk
what? with my current girlfriend we had an ice cream and a walk. these americans are crazy.
For a moment I thought you were talking about your previous girlfriend.
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