this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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A Boring Dystopia
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This article draws all the wrong conclusions from the design of the survey itself. That's the average date expense, for all single people, to include:
Digging into one of the surveys discussed in the article shows that the cost of a first date has climbed to $93.
$93 is more in line with what I'd expect. And yes, that price tag can price a lot of people out of bringing someone they don't know well yet on a formal sit down date.
I went to look up the menu at the place where my wife and I had our first date, in an expensive city. If we ordered what we ordered that night, except with today's prices, I think we would've spent about $30 on food, $50 on wine, and 30% on tax and tip for a total of about $105. We also split the tab. And that's with someone who I had already met in person in a few places (friends of friends), had already established rapport over the phone, and already knew that we both loved the restaurant we were meeting at.
Obviously we need more cheap/free third places in the mix. And our society would benefit from better income/wealth equality. But while we live in this current situation, people should be generally be ramping up in closeness before spending real money on dates in places they wouldn't have otherwise gone to. I couldn't imagine spending real money before getting to know someone at least enough to know whether I like them and enjoy being around them.
The world isn't like that though.
The reality of the world is most people want to meet at a bar or do an activity, and that costs money. And men are expected to pay for the dating. Splitting the tab is now very rare. People are a lot more traditionally sexist than they were 10-20 years ago.
I date. Most women want to be wined and dined, or they want to do a trendy activity date. Even if I take a woman out to a museum and a glass of wine, it's going to run me $100. Museum tickets are 30-40 dollars pp, and the wine is going to be 15-20 a glass.
Women I met used to offer to split, but that basically stopped happening post pandemic. Now they never offer to split. I've also noticed surge in women demanding traditional gender role dating both in person and on dating apps. Nobody is a feminist anymore like they were 10 years ago. They all want 'masculine men' and they want to be 'feminine women'. A lot more women I meet now are now asking me if I am 'actually straight/gay' now too. No woman was asking me if I was gay 10 years ago. Gender expectations have changed and regressed.
Article is talking about the dating world, as it is, as of 2026. Not how it used to be, not how it ought to be.
wot ? do they ask you if you're vegan while you're eating a steak ?
why are we dating and not fucking ? :)
indeed.
You're living in a prison of your own making. I hope you escape one day.
yeah, I'm also impinging that gas prices aren't 5 bucks a gallon right now. it's totally a figment of my imagination!
if i just think different, they were magically be 3 bucks again.
I think this guy drives a truck he struggles to afford...
i drive a hatchback that gets 40mpg. the women i meet want me to drive a gas guzzling truck, because it's 'masculine'.
the point you don't understand is you can't create reality around you by thinking happy thoughts.
reality exists whether you acknowledge it or not. buying a different car won't change the basic economic facts of reality that govern the cost of things. i can choose not to ever eat out, but the prices of restaurants will not change because i eat there or not, they will continue to rise and many people will be happy and eager to pay them.
well, that's me fucked,i drive an ecar I charge of my solar panels, i also have and prefer my ebike
but to be fair, I don't need to tilt the front of my seat up on my bike to have it mash into my balls for ball maxing
https://www.foxnews.com/outkick-culture/ballmaxxing-electrifying-addictive-euphoric-transcendental-according-pursuing-bigger-balls
as theres noting more masculine and ball maxxing then making your own fuel :)
I'm not going to pretend that I understand everything happening to today's young daters, but what you're describing isn't true in my circles (which skew older and richer, but where the people going on dates are more likely to be divorced and/or have children from prior relationships, but where $200 on a weeknight dinner is not unusual or a financial stretch).
More importantly, I still stand by my description of how the article mangled the underlying studies. Dating can be expensive, but not everyone who goes on a $200 date in that survey is going on a first date with a stranger, and $93 is probably a better metric to follow to understand what is happening.
The rest of my comment is just a description of what I believe will both reduce the amount of money spent on first dates and increase the expected value of that date by deferring any decision to spend any money by only going on dates with people you already kinda know and already like. If you don't believe that advice is practical for your current circumstances, I'm sorry to hear that, but I wonder if you can find another way to achieve similar effects.
i can't change the world around me anymore than i can lower gas prices.