I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think people did worse than just fart in them.
this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2026
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How exactly would you rub one out in there though?
Codpiece
Is that a fishy sidepiece?
Not if you bathed beforehand
I love this place.
Y'all are fuckin animals
Technically correct
The best kind. Fuckin is a verb here
Yeah, sure. If anyone's done any fucking, it's usually with other people, who are also animals. So yeah.
Risky wank, and noisy too.
sobbing squire noises
Wasn't there a battle where one side had raging diahrea so they just rolled into battle pantsless and buttsquirting?
Yeah, they'd sometimes die in those! Totally unprofessional.
They're not air tight. They might sound funnier tho. Like a brass instrument.
Blankets aren't airtight either, you ever rip a nasty one under one of those?
HOOOOOOOOONK! Lol.
Thomas the Tank Engine whistle
That wasn't all they did in their armor. And their faithful servant got to clean it all.
We Hungarians have a saying "They look like a scuba diving suit that is shitted to the brim." (Úgy néz ki, mint a teleszart búvárruha.) If you ask: Yes, we called Orbán that after he gained a lot of weight.
But why is Orban a cum ?
Hungarian cifrakáromkodás involves calling people who are mean to you as "cum".
Probably not as bad as farting in a one piece snow suit.
I love that, the kind of oily fart that clings to fabric then gets pumped out the neck hole at every move?
This is why these types of suits have funnels attached to the backside that will direct the contents away from the suit and also give resounding blast to motivate the troops and menace the enemy.
I appreciate that you illustrated this
Eventually? Yes if you wouldn't clean it. But I assume they were cleaned and oiled after each use.
Be sure to clean and oil the armor too.
In the Middle Ages, hygiene was hard to find.
Forget farts, they shitted in these things. You don't got time to take it off and put it back on after, you gotta smash those filthy heathens over there with a hammer!
Would a fart even compare with the body odour of a relatively unwashed knight exerting themselves in full sunlight?
What about costumes at themeparks?
Some of them actually have active air circulation, with small battery powered fans and whatnot. I doubt a medieval knight had that, though I am not a medieval armorologistician.
How.. How has no one corrected the title yet?