xkbx

acting like my body is a crime scene instead of a work of art

Woah, that’s wild. I’ve got both and I’m a mix of both. It’s like when people guess my towel size correctly at the hotel

No

The character from the Simpsons?

A big old goose egg, eh?

The deadpan casual comment of your spouse’s passing is perhaps one of the funniest deliveries I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry for your loss

Sounds like you’d be into strictly my buttcrack

Edit: I wrote that as a joke but knowing you I’m not sure who’s laughing

Man for a second I thought you were talking about punching one of them kids

Also, “free” v-cards. It’s a scam. You think they’re giving you something for free but then turn around after giving it to you and demand like $3-$4. I was shocked, I thought they were handing out nice valentine cards to be kind but it was a street scam

I wasn’t expecting the drop to hit so hard

These memes jerk me around lately

I used to think I was a hot commodity in the gay community until I realized it was only the ugly old guys hitting on me. Never the hot young ones. Let me tell you, my illusions were shattered. But then I got older and the young hot ones started giving me fuck-me eyes and now my illusions are back again