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I was at a bar, good 'n' drunk, went to take a piss. Bathroom is small, one urinal, one pot. I'm pissing away and I let a fart slip out, not a big one, just a good booty burp. The guy who's back in the shitter raising a putrid stink has the balls to say "gesundheit".
I wish I were that witty.
The most inpolite way to express politeness.
Rain happens without thunder all the time tho
Are you gonna argue with a pants shitter?
If you don’t argue with pant shitters then who do you argue with??
I'm gonna make eye contact and shit louder, with DETERMINATION
Gotta establish dominance.
Re-establish, you mean
All I see is two pants shitters
with DETERMINATION
"I HAVE DETERMINED THAT THERE'S SHIT IN MY PANTS!"
-pats approvingly-
Ohh no, you don't want to start a shit off!
Shit up or shit out
Look at this guy, calling bullshit on Fleetwood Mac
Hey now, Fleetwood Mac said thunder only happens when it's raining. That means it can rain without thunder, but can't thunder without rain.
I concede and withdraw my prior point.
I also frequently piss without shitting myself, yet here we are.
But do you ever shit without pissing? Maybe that's what Fleetwood Mac meant?
Fridays I’ve got traffic on my mind?
I also sometimes piss without shitting myself.
Why?
Incontinence.
What do you do when you're at sea?
Not for the guy at the urinal next to you
So don't stare at people at the urinal next to you and they won't react defensively.
~~react defensively~~
react defecatingly
~~react defensively~~
~~react defecatingly~~
react deafeningly
Look dude my hog looks really weird and if they're gonna stare at Little Biggums Piggums 3rd Jr, I'm gonna stare at "Mr Pisser" or whatever boring bullshit name they gave their falsie.
One time I was in this bar bathroom in Korea at the urinal doing my business and this Korean guy comes in and goes to the urinal next to me and starts doing his. A few seconds in he looks over at the big foreigner (me) and sticks out his free hand in a handshake gesture and says "Nice to meet you." Different culture...
I think you call the shit lightning.
Thunder and lightning. The stuff that makes life exciting.
Once I was in the bathroom of this upscale theater following a Shakespeare play, when a very sharply dressed older man who exuded an aura of intelligence came in and approached a urinal. He dropped his pants and underwear all the way to the floor, raised his shirts with both of his hands and held them above his exposed nipples, then pushed his hips as far as he could into the urinal to piss hands-free. The incongruity of what I was seeing left me stunned, and made me forget to pee until he had completely left the bathroom.
The best part about shitting yourself at a urinal is that you're already in a bathroom so you can clean up.
The worst part about shitting yourself at a urinal is that you shit yourself.
i'll pee into the shower if i want to
There are two types of people in this world. Those who piss in the shower, and liars.
My 60 y.o. Dad with dementia .. he knows he can go piss in a toilet. But he also knows he can just piss himself and his nurse will take care of it. It’s definitely a situation where an accident turned into a lifestyle choice lmfao
If you don't want to be in the thunderzone leave a 1 urinal gap
That's how you get beyond thunderzone.
I can never pee beyond thunderzone because Tina Turner is so intinadating.
I just piss in the sink, to be safe.
Sink pissers rise up!
You guys must be tall.
Nah, i usually use the kids washroom cause their sinks are lower
I mean, you were staring at him for no reason before he started talking. You should give him a tip for giving you a show!
I read that as "before he sharted"
I'm leaving this here. Have a nice day.
Around here we call that 'scraping mud'.
Oops, now it's a mudslide.