this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 168 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] forrgott@lemmy.zip 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Oh God damn you. Have your upvote and... you know the rest...

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 week ago

┬──┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

GIT GUD & GIT OUT.

[–] eodur@piefed.social 99 points 1 week ago

I thought this was programmer humor, not programmer horror

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 87 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

Another movie pitch:

Due to management decision, a code freeze has been mandated to the main branch. 50 feature branches have accumulated waiting to be merged.

Management has now finally approved to lift the code freeze - but only for 24 hours. Will the poor engineering team manage to merge all feature branches in time?

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Here's one for a TV show.

In 2022, a crack quality assurance team was made redundant by a CTO for a botched product launch they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximally unstable job market to the LinkedIn underground.

Today, still wanted by recruiters, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a broken codebase, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the QA-team.

[–] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

DO DODO DO DOO DOO. DO DODO DO DO

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

You are amazing, you beautiful lemmy stranger, you.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I am ramping a vehicle onto its roof in celebration

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Is there a robust test suite?

Merge, test, merge, test, patch, merge, test

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

Only some of the new code does. Unfortunately, most of the code base is 10 years old written in the good ol’ Anarchy Driven Programming paradigm.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago

The test suite takes 24 hours to run fully.

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 4 points 1 week ago

If by test you mean wait for customers to yell at us, it's super robust

[–] grue@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Merging all the feature branches in time is easy.

Having the project compile afterwards is hard.

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 5 points 1 week ago

Merge/test/fix on a separate branch and then merge this into main when the freeze lifts?

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)
rm -rf *

git add -A
git commit -m "oops."

rm -rf .git
git init
git add .
git commit -m "bye."

git push origin main --force
[–] black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

rm-ing .git isn't gonna work cuz you'll have to re-add the remotes.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh good point 🤦

So maybe instead, we can clear all local + remote branches and tags, create a blank branch, delete main, rename the blank branch to main, then delete .git

Although the OP says that we can merge anything, and we might not have access to mess with branches

[–] ozymandias117@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or just git push origin --force blank:main

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Live your best life. git pull blindly.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm not sure about the git history wipe, I can't test it myself right now

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just test it on production, you could do it right now

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago

Goodbye fedecan.ca

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Unironically I think this is my only shot at getting past our code debt.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 8 points 1 week ago

It didn't say anything about wiping previous debt

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wdym you don't like waiting 3 weeks for a code owner to approve a 1 line change?

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Just an FYI, you can add multiple people to code owners"

- Me, every week to that one guy

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My question would be for what time zone? That seems like an important detail

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 week ago

Well my pull request simplified all time zones to just UTC +8:45 so we never have to worry about it again

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago

Sweet ninjesus, i'm having a heart attack just imagining it

[–] NotAnonymousAtAll@feddit.org 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So every sane dev will just sit that day out, do nothing and then once it has all blown over one of them will hard reset main to right before the silly time started. Sounds like a chill time, but not a good plot for a movie imo.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

IDK, that sounds like a fun twist to me

[–] nie@piefed.social 7 points 1 week ago

So the equivalente to not wanting to make part of it and staying at home is setting repositories private a few hours before and only reopening the day after?

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Every repo I can suddenly has a requirement for my $1k/license addon and won't run without it.

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago

https://www.openchaos.dev/#votes is kinda similar to, but weekly instead (voted for submissions that automatically get merged)

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

This feels like it needs a 'Hunger Games' add-on.

[–] Shaker_dev@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I'm not understand , what it's mean

[–] dbx12@programming.dev 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's a meme referencing the movie "the purge" which legalizes all crimes during one specific night.

[–] nocteb@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago

I'd rather morge continvously

I am taking the network down at the office on this day. I have accidentally done it before and now I know how to do it again.