this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 121 points 1 month ago

Still deciding.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 99 points 1 month ago

Gotta love they ask for your income level before asking your name.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 92 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I could go for a big pile of towels to hide in.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 42 points 1 month ago

you can put that in the lover's style section

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not sure what you wrote. Do you think it will stink? Or do you demand that it has to?

[–] smh@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 month ago

I often demand an olfactory component to my calming shelters. The smell of rotting bananas in particular reminds me of my first college advisor's comfy, crowded office.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You know you can wash towels, right?

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh yeah? And how am I supposed to dry them afterwards, smart guy? With handkerchiefs?!

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Right? What devilry holds them up like that, and how are they so neatly aligned, almost like in a line??

Throw them in the fire! And the towels too.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Given the fact that they can already do this level of sorcery, do you really want to piss them off by burning the towels they have so meticulously levitated?

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 2 points 1 month ago

I'm not entirely sure.

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[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 66 points 1 month ago

Yet another marriage ruined by Big Towel. Smh my head

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I really hope this isn't satire.

I mean, it's pretty good satire but it would be good if it's true

[–] aeiou@piefed.social 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is that the same person who made the milk bath advertisements?

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 month ago

That sounds like his

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm going to need to see a rear picture of both Darlene and Tom before I can really decide. So I suppose I'm still deciding.

Quick question, is the pile of towels still around?

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

It doesn't say "check one only".

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[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Father Donovan was always pretty chill.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

Everybody knows Father Donovan's a got thing for Darlene. Word is she's wild in the sack.

[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago

Tom looking forlornly out of the towels is gutting me.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

some may even call him a hoopy frood

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 7 points 1 month ago

Well he certainly knows where his towel is

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Absolute gigafrood energy.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've never seen an analog digital media post before.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 1 month ago

it was delivered by a snail flown by a pigeon

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 19 points 1 month ago

Very considerate of them.

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 16 points 1 month ago

He understands.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 17 points 1 month ago

GODDAMIT! Here I was thinking that this was a wonderful way to maturely alert the world to their new status, and in the end it just turns out to be nothing but another AD! SPAM!

I'm profoundly disappointed.

[–] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's always a good day when a new TrueWagner project hits the wild.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This guy hits my humor button perfectly

[–] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Same. We've got a local guy here in New Haven, CT that's doing similar stuff. Once a week or so, I take a walk around town looking for new ones. I'll post the next one I find.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 month ago

Tag me in it if you can remember!

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

growing up in a small town, this is accurate.

the Jr high science teacher was the town whore. you could find her at the bar most Fridays. you knew she was there by the smokers cackle.

how would a student know who's in the bar you might be asking yourself. because it was the town watering hole and everybody went there.

how did a student know she was the town whore? because several high school students couldn't keep their mouths shut after losing their virginity.

she did throw the best parties in highschool though, if you were into the swingers lifestyle.

fun fact, her husband was a cuck.

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[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Love Alan Wagner. Such a recognizable style. It feels like handmade, bespoke humor. A rarity nowadays

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

You will certainly not regret having 3 pile of towel.

[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

Very whimsical stuff going on.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have no idea what's going on please explain the joke

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[–] ClownStatue@piefed.social 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lover's Style? I'm surprised this hasn't been jumped on yet. "All Conquering?" "(Power) Bottom?" "70s Porn?"

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

I would prefer a few standard options to choose from. Leaving it as a fill in the blank is a lot of pressure.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

"All our fucking neighbors" this is the internet you dont have to self censor

Edit: /s goddamn it lol this was supposed to parody these types of annoying comments

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Doesn't really match the tone, it's probably the name of the apartment complex

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[–] 4grams@awful.systems 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And just where can one procure such a pile of towels?

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