Still deciding.
this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Gotta love they ask for your income level before asking your name.
I could go for a big pile of towels to hide in.
you can put that in the lover's style section
It must stink
I'm not sure what you wrote. Do you think it will stink? Or do you demand that it has to?
I often demand an olfactory component to my calming shelters. The smell of rotting bananas in particular reminds me of my first college advisor's comfy, crowded office.
You know you can wash towels, right?
Oh yeah? And how am I supposed to dry them afterwards, smart guy? With handkerchiefs?!
What is this sorcery?
Right? What devilry holds them up like that, and how are they so neatly aligned, almost like in a line??
Throw them in the fire! And the towels too.
Given the fact that they can already do this level of sorcery, do you really want to piss them off by burning the towels they have so meticulously levitated?
I'm not entirely sure.
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Yet another marriage ruined by Big Towel. Smh my head
I really hope this isn't satire.
I mean, it's pretty good satire but it would be good if it's true
It's a @truewagner bit.
Is that the same person who made the milk bath advertisements?
That sounds like his
I'm going to need to see a rear picture of both Darlene and Tom before I can really decide. So I suppose I'm still deciding.
Quick question, is the pile of towels still around?
It doesn't say "check one only".
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Father Donovan was always pretty chill.
Everybody knows Father Donovan's a got thing for Darlene. Word is she's wild in the sack.
Tom looking forlornly out of the towels is gutting me.
What an absolute frood.
some may even call him a hoopy frood
Well he certainly knows where his towel is
Absolute gigafrood energy.
I've never seen an analog digital media post before.
it was delivered by a snail flown by a pigeon
Very considerate of them.
Tom gets it
He understands.
GODDAMIT! Here I was thinking that this was a wonderful way to maturely alert the world to their new status, and in the end it just turns out to be nothing but another AD! SPAM!
I'm profoundly disappointed.
It's always a good day when a new TrueWagner project hits the wild.
This guy hits my humor button perfectly
Same. We've got a local guy here in New Haven, CT that's doing similar stuff. Once a week or so, I take a walk around town looking for new ones. I'll post the next one I find.
Tag me in it if you can remember!
growing up in a small town, this is accurate.
the Jr high science teacher was the town whore. you could find her at the bar most Fridays. you knew she was there by the smokers cackle.
how would a student know who's in the bar you might be asking yourself. because it was the town watering hole and everybody went there.
how did a student know she was the town whore? because several high school students couldn't keep their mouths shut after losing their virginity.
she did throw the best parties in highschool though, if you were into the swingers lifestyle.
fun fact, her husband was a cuck.
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Love Alan Wagner. Such a recognizable style. It feels like handmade, bespoke humor. A rarity nowadays
You will certainly not regret having 3 pile of towel.
Very whimsical stuff going on.
Lover's Style? I'm surprised this hasn't been jumped on yet. "All Conquering?" "(Power) Bottom?" "70s Porn?"
I would prefer a few standard options to choose from. Leaving it as a fill in the blank is a lot of pressure.
"All our fucking neighbors" this is the internet you dont have to self censor
Edit: /s goddamn it lol this was supposed to parody these types of annoying comments
Doesn't really match the tone, it's probably the name of the apartment complex
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