If they were a triple Trumper, yes.
But in all seriousness, you're a disappointment sounds like a line from a movie, real life doesn't really do dialog like that.
this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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i would say that's a terrible parent. glad mine's not.
I'd be disappointed to find I had one. I'd be a terrible mother and my wife would be even worse!
if they were hateful. punching down types. maga. racists. yeah, yeah, I would.
No. "Being a disappointing," yes. "A disappointment," no.
The difference is one is a fixable behaviour, and the other is an identity.
It's extremely hard to imagine but yeah there are lines.
If they were disappointing, maybe. Like I'm not gonna lie and say I'd love my kid even if they turned out to be a racist, sexist, nazi piece of shit. But I mean, I'd also be disappointed in myself for raising such a bastard.
Never. My son is a person I could never have imagined. I don’t see what relevance my expectations of him are to anyone or anything. I’m not sure I ever had any.
Why should I? Our children are not products we purchased or objects we crafted. They are new beings coming into the universe under our care but for a while.
You discharge that responsibility on their behalf. That’s it. Of course that means setting standards for them to meet, but even this discipline you do for their own sake. You don’t get expect them to be anything.
That’s negotiating with fate - about as pointless as negotiating with death.
No, but I would say something like "I am very dissapointed in you for doing X". A kid can't change who they "are", but they can change what they "do".
This is a key distinction. To make sure they understand it properly, I usually push it even further to “You did a disappointing thing.”
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Hell no.
I would send him the following:
No, unless they became a pedophile, serial killer, rapist or something extreme like that
wouldnt that be the fault of the parent for not monitoring the upbring of thier children.
probably i dunno, i hate kids
Or an influencer.
depends on what they do. theres 2 types, a rich influencer (the most common as most of them tend to come from upper middle class and beyond) and the "semi not come from money ones". if they produce greed slop likes of mr beast or become a uninformed political influencer than that would be a disappointment.
Being a pedophile isn't a choice, it's a psychological dysfunction. Acting on that impulse is a crime and something to be punished - or treated in a medical facility.
Thank you for saying that. I have worked with MAPs (minor attracted people), and majority of them do not want to offend, and understand they can never act on their desires. They were actively seeking treatment and felt suicidal because of their attraction.
Also I learned that about half (?) of sexual acts on minors aren't even done by people with pedophilia but because the victims seemed to be vulnerable - so less likely to fight back or tell someone.
I am not sure about the actual numbers, but what you describe absolutely happens, more often than people realize. These fucks go after vulnerable people.
I dont care. If my hypothetical son that will never be born turns into a pedophile and has sex with children, then i will call them a dissapointment.
I was called lesser so kinda the same thing. I never use that word cause it's reserved for tywin Lannister type of dudes lol
Yesterday I said to my son "I'm disappointed in you for not catching that fish" (he came so close to catching his target prize fish but it got away).
I felt pretty bad and didn't mean it one bit, I just said it the wrong way around because i was exhausted. Then I spent the next five minutes explaining that I'm absolutely not disappointed in him and that he is an awesome fisherman and that what i really meant to say was that I was disappointed FOR him that he didn't catch the fish that he had been trying so hard to catch for months.
Oh wow that’s a hard one to fix but good job on trying. At the beginning of your comment I was like wtf that’s not his fault!
I feel like this would be my mindset. Like you're bummed out or disappointed that a certain action wasn't successful, but you're not upset with the person just the event in general.
My kids are still quite young but I've already had to catch myself mid-sentence and reword or rethink how I say certain things. It's hard because at work we're all cursing like sailors but at home we don't want anything like that around the kids...to the best of our abilities.
My kid is a dream. I was an older Dad, and I worried about dealing with a teenager during my 50s, but he has always been level headed. We never had to deal with drug, alcohol, smoking, no pregnancy scares, nothing. He got great grades, really talented, a school leader without even trying. He could be a little lazy, I used to have to remind him that he couldn't be a slacker because his peers were watching him.
If he turned out to be a cold psychopatic serial killer, I would.
I once explored the hypothetical of what would make me abandon the love for one of my kids. I went with something awful: imagine we found out they were a gruesome serial killer in secret. I decided after pondering it that I would continue to love and support them even through that. No one else would, rightfully so. But I think it is my duty even when the rest of humanity has abandoned them.
Writing this I thought of a variation. Instead of a serial killer, what if they murdered my spouse or one of their siblings. I'll have to ponder that. I'd like to think I'd have the same unconditional love but I'm really not sure. In that case I might have to admit that I'm disappointed in them.
No
Bruh I'm an Asian son and I've been on the receiving end of these words 💀
Edit: To answer the question. No wtf I'm never gonna say these type of things to my children (if I ever have children)
I wouldn't have children because I'm not a selfish psychopath.
No, like others said I might point out his behavior is disappointing, but never him.
This is some really heavy parenting. I hope I'd never have to, but if it was warranted it would be very important that it was actionable. I.e., I'm disappointed in you because you're doing [x] and you need to do [y]. It's my job as a parent in this situation to communicate why and how to do better.
No.
I might, if what they did were severe enough, express that what they did is disappointing. But that's different from branding them with the iron of disappointment-as-identity. Everyone does stuff sometimes that is worse than they aspire to be. The trick is coming back from it, learning and growing and changing.
I remember how it felt the day I asked my mom, after she had screamed at me and hit me a bunch for stuff she made up about me, "what did I ever do to you to make you hate me this much?", and she screamed back "YOU WERE BORN!" And I believed she meant it, because none of this was out of character.
I was 12.
No kid should ever feel the hopelessness and abandonment I felt in that moment.
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Yeah, if he came home sporting a maga hat or a Charlie Kirk t-shirt or something.
I’m raising my kid to be smart and to care about others. So really I’d be disappointed in myself for not being a better teacher.
I can't imagine ever saying that.
I wouldn't call any child, as a human, a disappointment, but I believe there are some rare occasions where their actions should be framed as disappointing.
Label the action disappointing, explain the reasoning that led to that conclusion, and explain how it could affect the future for both the parents and the child. Communication is key, and also try to leave some room for the child to grow. The less often you call something disappointing, the more powerful it can be, and can be used as a way to seriously correct behavior.
It would have to be very, very bad and it would weigh heavily on my soul if I ever were to speak those words to my children.
His behavior yes. He lack of behavior yes. Never him.
I wouldn't say that to anybody.
He don't say it but I can see it in his eyes.
Yes, assuming they have disappointed me.
It's normal to express your emotions.
I agree thats its normal to express your emotions, but there is a difference between telling someone that they have disappointed you and telling someone that they are a disappointment.
Calling someone a disappointment implies that it is something intrinsic about the person, while saying that someone has disappointed you shows that it is something that they have done and isn't an overarching accusation.
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(5 replies)
Variation on the theme: would you ever tell your child “You weren’t worth it.”
OP assuming you are asking for a reason, my view after some time is that when a parent make a statement like that it reflects more about the parent than the child.
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