this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you think this is tragic, wait till you get to the end of the episode when space aliens steal his dongle.

He got it back. He even got a girlfriend out of it

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 62 points 1 day ago

Kid: I don’t care about ordinary people Same kid: immediately cries at reaction of ordinary people

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 73 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Flashback to a kid in my class who ruined his entire highschool time by saying "my name is [name] and I breed rabbits" during the first 10 minutes of school.

[–] webadict@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Man, kids at your school were fucking stupid. That kid had shittons of rabbits that needed petting.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

So many school problems could have been solved by saying "you guys are dumb fucks."

I mean the teacher saying that.

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oof, that's rough. Was it an urban school? I grew up in an agricultural area and I swear pretty much everybody was breeding something

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Yes it was. It was also the early 00's and we were a bunch of 12 year old shits, and he was (in hindsight) rather on the spectrum.

[–] remon@ani.social 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Anon is Haruhi Suzumiya ...

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Thought for sure this was Ken Takakura

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 99 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I absolutely hate those "let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves" exercises. Making children do them seems especially cruel.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago

One could say it's healthy for a growing child to occasionally be put in awkward situations where they have to define themselves. It's not fun but it helps shape personality.

[–] Patrikvo@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 day ago

I'm 44 and I used to hate those too. But there is one fun fact about these. If you go first, you can fill it in as you want and every one will follow your format. Quite funny once you notice this.

Anyway next time I have one of those, I'll make sure to add "favorite dinosaur" to it.

[–] oce@jlai.lu 132 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Don't you think it's good to train children to be able to talk to strangers, in public and introduce themselves? I know it's stressful but I think it is useful.

[–] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

It's not training though, you get thrown into the real thing immediately that decides the rest of your social time at school.

If you were encouraged and made to practice in private before, then I would agree with you. But there is no "training" in this, it's just, either you can already do it or you can't.

It would be possible to coach kids about what to say in such situations, make them prepare and practice in private, let the teacher hear the introduction before anyone else, give feedback, and then put them in front of the class. And afterwards, talk about how it went, what went well, what to improve. Does any of this happen? If no, then it's no training.

[–] oce@jlai.lu 9 points 1 day ago

It’s not training though, you get thrown into the real thing immediately that decides the rest of your social time at school.

Aren't you exaggerating a little? Kids get to know each other better with time too.

Agreed with doing it with guidance and feedback.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 day ago (4 children)

That's just not how people introduce themselves out in the real world though.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 62 points 1 day ago (1 children)

work is the real world and i have some news

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

The problem is the lack of structure.

I organize a lot of workshops involving people from experts to executives, where you always need an introduction round, and I give them a structure to follow. Makes the task it easier, but it’ll also be much more useful for the group, as we’ll focus in the aspects of a person that matter for the context of the workshop.

For a class intro in primary school, it could be:

  • name and age
  • nickname you’d like others to call you
  • favorite subject
  • favorite hobby / free time activity

I just made this up, but a teacher could probably come up with something even more fitting.

The point is, always give people structure or guidance, you’ll get much more out of similar introduction rounds.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Sure but in the real world you will sometimes get this and sometimes get no structure. It's been about 50/50 for me so far. Being able to do either on the fly is good.

[–] oce@jlai.lu 30 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

What do you think is different compared to when you join some new company, training or club and you are asked to present yourself to the group?

[–] MinFapper@startrek.website 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Someone in our new partner team has scheduled a meeting for 11am today for us to introduce ourselves to each other.

Guess how it's going to be structured

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[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Depends how many of these kids will end up in AA meetings

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 day ago

It'd just be a lot less horrible if you don't have to come up with something to say about yourself. Kids are RUTHLESS and if you're not quick on your feet, or even if you are, but the thing you say can be taken wrong, you will be bullied for the rest of your time in school over it. Unless you luck out and someone else's thing is even worse.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 50 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Introducing yourself to others is like the basis of all socialization. 🤔

[–] frog@feddit.uk 29 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Introducing yourself to others is normal. Speaking infront of a group is not. Both can bring out social anxiety but public speaking is different than socializing with a small group.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 37 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Speaking a few sentences in front a classroom sized group is pretty normal and kids should be exposed to it. Uncomfortable experiences are a part of growing up.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Both can bring out social anxiety

Generally speaking, socialization is like a muscle. You have to use it to build it. Which is why we have schools introduce people to social settings in controlled settings and with incrementally more difficulty.

"Nobody should ever have to interact with more than a handful of other people at a time" is a recipe for building a population of socially anxious people.

When you cloister kids at a young age, then introduce them to a big school full of more advanced students, you're throwing them into the deep end of the pool late in the game. But just insisting "they're 11 years old! they'll never be social! lost cause!" is infinitely more cruel than weening them into society as best as your system can.

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[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is it cruel?

I don't agree, I think if you force a crying child to say their name — that's obviously going too far. But it is important to get kids used to socializing, human beings need other human beings ultimately.

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[–] spirinolas@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Do it with confidence and you'll be the cool kid from day one

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

I remember signing end of elementary/primary school leaving shirts with my email at the time instead of my name because i was certain that my handle would be (in)famous. The email misspelt "requiem" as "requim"

shudders

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 55 points 1 day ago (4 children)
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Less less embarrassing then 'I only speak one language'

[–] IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Upvote for the Haruhi reference cringe or not.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 13 points 1 day ago (7 children)

It's no better or worse than going with the usual Egon quote about collecting fungus, molds, and spores. That's how nerds find each other, one of them fires off a signal flare, revealing their location and putting themselves in danger, and other misfits sit next to them at lunch so they can all get hazed together.

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I never realized that when I was thrown into a locker, it was actually a giant allegory for a 'gathering the group' montage.

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[–] Bazell@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Villain arc unlocked.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

Would have been pretty funny (to those in the know) if he managed to do it with confidence. Shame.

Also damn, this Greentext is 10 years old. Doing this nowadays in highschool would definitely net you a room full of blank stares (best case) even if you don't botch the delivery.

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[–] xxce2AAb@feddit.dk 19 points 1 day ago

Truly God helps those that help themselves.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Was he really? He cried right afterwards, showing how much he cares what ordinary people care about him.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

That's just from psychological stress of delivering a presentation facing a room full of unfamiliar beings. He only interacts with aliens, time travellers and espers!

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