this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 15 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Turns out being exiled to suck grains of sand for individual molecules of moisture up through your early 20s isn't as good for the resume as being inducted as a child into the fasttrack program for magic West Point.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

A TCOAL reference on Lemmy?

[–] puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 hours ago

the internet is healing

...or like getting worse in a good way

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 17 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

By the destruction of the Death Star alone, Luke has a higher kill count than Anakin did at 22, saved the Rebellion, and became a decorated war hero. And Luke did all that in less than a week of getting caught up in events.

Meanwhile Anakin had been building up to that point for years, and was only a General because all Jedi were Generals. Other than becoming a Jedi, it's not like he did anything specifically to earn that position.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 5 hours ago

Luke was a late bloomer whilst Anakin was a child genious.

[–] impudentmortal@lemmy.world 101 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Thought it would be funnier if we added Leia

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 18 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

...

why did they fuck luke over? They put Leia in a hereditary monarch position, and him in some desert in the middle of fucking nowhere to farm moisture?

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (2 children)

/uj Wasn't it implied (also in the obi wan series) that they needed to separate them literally as much as possible? So not just planetary, but also by the very walk of life, and by all reason, they shouldn't have ever crossed paths, even accidentally. If they were both paupers on different planets and physically passed by each other, they might talk, but by separating them by class, even if they walked by each other, one is literal royalty and the boundary would be immense.

So that they eventually crossed paths by fate, shows the power and will of the force to bring good people together or some bullshit.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

makes sense. that's great on the part of the fans to come up with decent explanations to plot holes that gape open more than anal acrobats' prolapsed assholes.

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 hour ago

… or some bullshit.

Yep, that sounds about right when “somehow Palpatine returned” exists.

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 14 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

In my headcannon this explains solitary senile old Luke.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

... because he was neglected? Because of the moisture farm chemicals?

[–] Nikelui@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

It's the blue milk. That stuff rots your brain.

[–] MSBBritain@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

Hmm. Well, most chemical desiccants would probably cause moderate to severe damage when breathed in, and with a bit of suspense of disbelief could explain developmental issues...

[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 24 points 16 hours ago

That's a helpful and necessary addition. The mythology does not serve itself.

[–] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 43 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

"Future father" at age 22 is a strange achievement.

[–] how_we_burned@lemmy.zip 12 points 9 hours ago

Wasn't a jedi knight on the council either.

What a failure.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 36 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

"The Strongest Jedi" definitely isn't right. At best, he's evenly matched with Obi-Wan. If you apply stupid "power scaling" rules, then sure, Obi-Wan got ganked by Dooku during their fight while Anakin handily beat him. But at the same time that Dooku pushes Obi-Wan, he easily kicks and downs Anakin who's behind him; Obi-Wan was just the one he subdued by crushing him, ostensibly seeing him as the greater threat.

We've seen Anakin lose to Obi-Wan at the (inherent) height of his combat prowess, and it was his own fault. Windu and Yoda probably also take Anakin one-on-one. (Windu, of course, was totally defenseless when Anakin severed his arm.)

If we're talking about things like the Force, Yoda is clearly much more powerful. There's an argument Anakin was the most powerful pilot, but that combined with being very Force-sensitive and a very good duelist doesn't make him "the most powerful" overall. Most potential? If he could keep his emotions under control, probably.

[–] BremboTheFourth@piefed.ca 23 points 21 hours ago

Yeah, there are plenty of Jedi who can beat Anakin, but I think if you normalize for experience, he was easily the strongest of any of his peers. He should have seen being allowed to sit in on the council at his age as an enormous honor. But of course, he's the egotist supreme, and he had unwise words being whispered in his ear.

Also, in the fight with Dooku, it seems likely to me that Palpatine somehow invisibly sabotaged him once Obi-Wan was down. Palps wanted that to end with both Dooku AND Obi-Wan dead.

Tap for spoilerI mean the truth is the movies are just poorly written and wildly inconsistent, but whatever lol

[–] can_you_change_your_username@fedia.io 11 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Movies confirm that Anakin is roughly equal in power to Obi-Wan and Yoda is roughly equal in power to Palpatine. Anakin is the chosen one and the prophecy that he would bring balance to the force was fulfilled at the end of Episode 3 when those were the only four left.

[–] TALL421@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

George has explicitly said in the past that balance does not mean equal light and equal dark. The dark side is a corruption, a cancer of the Force. Of course George isn't in charge anymore but Dave very much learned from George and seemingly already shared many of the same views of the Force to begin with.

Anakin brings balance when Luke redeems him, and he defeats Palpatine. And then yknow.... again is balanced by the Dyad. But it's easier for pretty much everyone not to talk about that.

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Interesting take. I mean, there were more of both, but as the power structures is interesting.

[–] can_you_change_your_username@fedia.io 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not my most controversial take. Mace Windu never had a chance against Palpatine. Palpatine let Windu take an advantageous position in the fight as his final ploy to turn Anakin. I offer three points as evidence for this.

First, Windu went to Palpatine's office with three other Jedi masters, all of whom were members of the council, to arrest Palpatine. Despite having four of the most powerful Jedi, knowing that Palpatine was a dangerous Sith Lord, and having every opportunity to choose the place, time, and manner of the confrontation two of the four Jedi were dead before Windu even got his lightsaber activated and a third died almost immediately after.

Second, Windu got the upper hand just as Anakin arrived in the office. Palpatine appears to be a weakened pitiful old man as Windu turns his force lightening back on him and then decides to execute him instead of arresting him but as soon as Anakin attacks Windu formalizing his turn to the dark side Palpatine is on his feet and both his force lightening and his trademark cackle are at full force.

Third, despite his supposed grievous injuries, a day after the duel with Windu Palpatine fought Yoda to a stalemate.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

How did palpatine keep his skills sharp throughout all those years without attracting any notice?

Darth Plagueis was alive up until Palpatine was named Chancellor. Darth Maul was a match for Jedi Masters. Darth Tyranus was a very accomplished duelist even before becoming a sith. So I would say it was through training/sparring with his master and apprentices as well as the use things like training droids.

[–] tino_408@lemmy.world -3 points 21 hours ago

Yall take stuff online way to seriously lol

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 42 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I know.... Somehow, I've always known

Somehow Leia also just knew Luke would be one of those "chill" brothers who lets you kiss them on the lips for a few seconds to make your boyfriend/crush jealous.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 33 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Those two definitely banged once or twice after they figured out they were siblings.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 16 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

"They" meaning Luke and Leia? Or "They" meaning the writers?

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 11 points 19 hours ago

But who can name themselves jedi master though?

[–] domdanial@reddthat.com 23 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

I don't love that I recognize the art style / pose.

[–] Lanusensei87@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

There is something to be said about how recognizable it is, that is commendable in itself. Too bad about the reason why 😬.

[–] IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip 15 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

The coffin of Andy and Leyley, a game that I haven't played but people say it's about incest or something. The meme uses the same poses and art style for Luke and Leia

an image of the game from steam depicting the above referenced pose and artstyle

[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 16 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

The opening scene involves the two of them locked in an apartment slowly starving to death while their neighbor attempts to summon a demon and dies leaving behind piles of edible meat.

Tap for spoilerThe incest doesn't happen until like act 3 and even then it's only as a possible outcome foreshadowed in a flash forward.

[–] can_you_change_your_username@fedia.io 16 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Luke's 23 in Return of the Jedi when he defeats the combined power of Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine to not only resist turning to the dark side himself but also redeem Anakin turning him back to the light side of the force. Luke's the real strongest Jedi even with his truncated training.

[–] impudentmortal@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago

Honestly, at the rate each new Jedi is getting trained per franchise, the next Jedi Padawan will introduce their name to their master before becoming deemed a Master.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 10 points 19 hours ago

My canon belief is that Leia had a sense there was a connection to Luke (that she references to "always knowing", which can mean a lot more than just about Luke) after she heard his calling out to her from Cloud CIty. This would be long after both kisses, and both of them were pretty innocent within context anyway.

As for Anakin, he was the most powerful at that point. We see this by the measurements (yeah, I hate that Lucas defined what was meant to be mystical), we see this by the later results in him matching up with other more experienced Jedi, and we see him as a severely crippled Vader who is still devastating to anyone. Anakin weakness wasn't his abilities, but his lack of patience and control, thanks to maybe his age if Yoda was right, but the lack of the Council aiding what training could be done, and also fueling his fears and anger later.

Luke could be more powerful. We never see his peak level except in cases like in The Mandalorian. That Luke is Anakin-level but with control of his actions.

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

They didn't exactly start thier training at the same age...