Just waiting for a tech billionaire to completely miss the point of this short story.
this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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Your heart might be full but your balls sure as hell wouldn't be
I want my heart to be full
I don't get the artist from Isreal part. Is that part of the joke?
I feel like you have to post "Im an isreal artist" to get around a censor. Either way it's pretty funny
Oh, it's referencing this?
Best sci-fi I've read this year.
Some of the terminology is from Dan Simmons' Hyperion series.
Somewhere, a little tech bro of tomorrow is dutifully taking notes that fundamentally misunderstand the message.
"We've decided to build the jack-you-off machine, from that famous book 'Please don't build the jack-you-off machine'"
Its very cyberpunk for sure! I think it was Cyberpunk Edgerunners where in the background of many street scenes there's folks just zonked out on the street with little fap machines going nuts on their junk while the world passes them by, completely oblivious to everything
hence the name
This is completely unrealistic. The nutrition tablet goes up your ass (the effects are the same)
How would you get it past the buttplug?
It is the buttplug
For most people there's no difference of ass and mouth.
everything's cool after a shower
my man
snaps yes!
James my local fishmonger told me he jacked off one time but he didn't like it so he never did it again. Guy fucks all the fish though, I told him that's just jacking off with extra steps but he's in denial. A true nofap kind of guy you know?
Over at the 'Bate & Tackle Fishmongery? Heard they make good coleslaw.
I tried their coleslaw, it put cummies in my tummy. I then went to some kind of human poultry farm for some eggs and ate those so that the coleslaw could fertilize it. I gave birth to an adorable abomination of a plate of chewed up fish and chips right into my toilet a few hours later. My roommate says I just puked but I know what I ate, that's how babies are made.
I want to die
^ art
? Why doesn't the nutrition tablet jack me off?
that’s why it should go up the ass
You didn't subscribe to the premium plan.
Stop, I can only be wanked off so many times before I decide that it's not enough.
i updoot this post
it jacks me off
Jordan Peterson's nightmare
Ahhh, a future we can all strive towards!
Yeah isn’t this still better than the current timeline?
I'd be getting jacked off a hell of a lot more, that's for sure!
Full of what?
Where do I sign up?
Just stay alive. AI will do the rest.
Pure poetry.
Cuil